La Scrivere, Op. 2

2006-02-05T22:14:00.000-08:00

I have just re-organised the presentation of my works under the following categories: (1) lyrics; (2) prose; (3) play scripts.

2005-12-04T21:13:00.000-08:00

A tribute to George W. Bush's reinstatement as President of the United States of America and a happy second term . . .

GEORGE W. BUSH'S "THANK YOU" TO THE PEOPLE . . .
Based on "Thank You for the Music" by ABBA

I'm quite a screwball - you know, all the "Bushisms"
When I go public, I will get criticisms
For being a terror, a real threat to peace
But don’t they know - Saddam, I managed to beat?
Oh what stupidity!
Never mind; celebrate victory

CHORUS
So I say "Thank You" everybody
For voting for me
Carry on the war on terror
Who can now deny it?
Osama you can't beat me
Soon you will see
Surrounding you out in the Middle East
So I say "Thank You" to my voters
Again a President

People said that I have lied about W.M.D.
The real truth is that: the CIA made the story
So that's not my fault; you blame it on them
How do you expect they'd come up such crap
I tell you, I don’t know
All I do is to follow the code

To CHORUS

I've been so lucky
I managed to kick John Kerry
Out of the polls and out of presidency
What a joy, what a life, so much glee!

To CHORUS

2005-08-22T03:00:00.000-07:00

The original "Down by the River" song...

Down by the river
Took a little walk
Ran into some terrorists
Had a little talk
Push them (yah!)
Kick them (yah!)
Push them, kick them (yah! yah!)
Into the river
Left them to drown
We don't need no terrorists
Hanging around

My version...

Down Orchard Road
Took a little walk
Saw the Great Singapore Sale
Had a little shop
Grab them (yah!)
Buy them (yah!)
Grab them, buy them (yah! yah!)
Bought two pairs of trousers
Only for two dollars
We don't need no GST
Hanging around

2005-08-22T02:58:00.000-07:00

GONG XI, GONG XI
(To the tune of "Gong Xi, Gong Xi")

While I went to train outfield
Sergeant closed in for the kill
Took my rifle, ran away
This was what he said

CHORUS
Gong Xi, Gong Xi, Gong Xi Ni Yah
Gong Xi, you got guard duty yah

While I went for outcamp run
Woke up and then saw the sun
Realised I was late again
CSM he said

To CHORUS

Went for RSM Parade
Uniform colour had fade
Got caught by the RSM
This was what he said

To CHORUS

2005-08-22T02:54:00.000-07:00

WE ARE ENGINEERS (to the tune of "Jingle Bells)

Driving down the road
In our two-cabin bronco
Over the hills we go
Moving rather slow

Overturning drill
Doesn't give much thrills
When we try to drink inside
Our water starts to spill, oh

CHORUS
Engineers, Engineers
We are Engineers
Riding in our bronco
Carrying all our heavy gear, oh
Engineers, Engineers
We are Engineers
Getting wet in flotation
Is something that we fear

Doing Prep for Ops
Do until can drop
"Flop and samura*"
So says the three bar

Burning explosives
Burning our Sundays
Have to sacrifice so much
But there's no rise in pay, oh

To CHORUS

SOCE is so nice
It's at Nee Soon Camp
Bunks are very bright
Never dark and damp

Sungei Gedong Camp
Here at Block 13
Every night when there are lights
The bees will all fly in, oh

To CHORUS

Private or trainee
Private or recruit
Everything's the same
Nothing much has changed

Go for AHM
Run until leg pain
Next day say got SOC
All of us just can faint, oh

To CHORUS

*Samura (Malay): redo everything from the beginning

2005-05-10T03:36:00.000-07:00

What a pleasant surprise! Blogger has revamped its webpage, and now there’s more stuff on it! I had the chance to fill in my profile, and while doing so, came across this final entry at the bottom of the page:

Compose the lyrics to a new national anthem that features an animal sound at least once:

Okay, so here’s my pretty lame work, about animals being the important thing in some country which I never bother to specify while writing it down in my head:

Our land expands in front of us
To the Mediterranean
The hills, the trees, the lakes we love
They shape the land for us

But most importantly to us
Are our animals
They provide food for us to eat
Our cows, our pigs, our sheep

Listen to our nation’s pride
Hear their symphony
Of oinks and neighs and baas and bleats
Their sounds like trumpets high

For we take special care of them
Our national treasures
They are the progress of our land
This anthem is for them

2005-04-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

DEGREE, DEGREE
(Sung to the tune of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star”)

Degree, degree, oh degree
I know what your power is!
You can help me to stand high
With you my career can fly
Degree, degree, oh degree
I know what your power is!

When I get my bachelor’s
People will hire me first
With this I will never loose
Many things for me to choose
I will then retire rich
And can eat meat, can eat fish

2005-04-30T21:17:00.000-07:00

BRING MY SCHOLARSHIP TO ME
(Sung to the tune of “Bring back my Bonnie to Me”)

My future lies over the ocean
My degree lies over the sea
My money lies just ahead of me
Oh give my scholarship to me!

Give me, oh, give me,
Please, PSC, give me my scholarship
Grant me, oh, grant me,
That marvellous feel of prestige

2005-04-24T08:33:00.000-07:00

STAND BY BED
(Sung to the tune of "Stand by Me")

You will not expect
An event like that
Something hectic and nerve-wrecking
To kill you
Of course you’ll be afraid
You do not even know if you’re suay
Let me tell you
This event’s called
Stand by bed

CHORUS
Oh clean it clean it quick
And clean… oh I mean, very clean
Or you’ll get it
You’ll be dead
Stand by bed

When the sergeant comes to check
You can see our shirts wet
Watch the dripping of the sweat
Down our backs
He will make you knock it down
For some dust on the ground
He’ll check thoroughly
Making sure that it’s dust-free

CHORUS

Some vernacular lingo
Stand by bed: room inspection
Knock it down: to do pumping, usually in the sense of punishment

2005-04-18T03:04:00.000-07:00

ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE
--- The BMT version ---

Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)

My NS life may suck
Well then, too bad that’s tough luck
Maybe my platoon chiong and chiong like hell
Mine’s not welfare company
Like some other companies
Where they enjoy and don't get shoved around… but…

Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)

I hate to wake so early
Everyday at five-thirty
I miss the life where I used to be free
I don’t have time to eat
And I don’t have time to shit
Fungus start to sprout around my feet… but…

Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)

The number four I wear
Is enough to make me swear
“Oh bloody hell I’ve worn this thing for days
All the sweat makes it so sticky
Not to mention that it’s stinky
I scatter crowds when on the MRT… oh…

Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)

Oh yes, it’s bookout day
I can finally shout “Yay!”
Which I haven’t said all throughout the week
But then suay suay never greet
The lieutenant that I meet
And then I kena weekend guard duty… but…

Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life
(Whistle)

Some vernacular lingo:

BMT (English): Basic Military Training, which all enlistees have to go through before being posted to their respective army units for the rest of their obligatory service
Chiong (Hokkien): rush; in the army we use 'chiong suah' to describe act of going on outfield exercises

Suay (Hokkien): unfortunate
Kena (Malay): receive (usually in a bad way)

2005-03-18T09:25:00.000-08:00

WE’RE GOING TO WAR
(From BEGGARS AT THE FEAST)

There is no gain
Sadly there’s pain
Diplomacy with other countries
All for Saddam
We must wage war
Topple him down and tell him “Get out”

Iraq at my feet
Iraq in the dust
And here’s me making calls
Calling for support

We’re going to war
Come and join us then
We’re going to fight Saddam until the end
Oust him from his land
Take away his share
Clear away the landmines and then we’re still there!
Where the army men are going
Victory is the stuff we smell!
And if you do believe us
Jesus won’t we see him down in Hell!

2005-03-18T09:24:00.000-08:00

GIVE IT ALL BACK TO THEM
(Based on “Bring It All Back to You” by S Club 7)

Don’t stop, never give up,
Keep complaining, just talk cock.
Let’s show the world we’re chin kang kor
Give it all back to them

Some things are just terok
But then those people don’t admit
Every time we must pay and pay
Give it all back to them

I tell you, we complain to show our individuality,
When all prices are going up
Just write and let it go,
If gah’men try to put you down,
Just kao peh on and on some more.
Only then you see they write back to you
The gah’men always like to say,
That there is no free lunch
But who the hell cares, we’ve got rights

Don’t stop, never give up,
Keep complaining, just talk cock.
Let’s show the world we’re chin kang kor
Give it all back to them

Some things are just terok
But then those people don’t admit
Every time we must pay and pay
Give it all back to them

How not to worry about a thing
Every thing now so expensive
GST now five per-cent
I damn pek chek, don’t you know
Public transport fares not the same
Even newspaper now not so cheap
How then not to worry with so many problems
Don’t you know it’s true what they say
Everything so terok
You just have to keep complaining
(So don’t stop trying)

Don’t stop, never give up,
Keep complaining, just talk cock.
Let’s show the world we’re chin kang kor
Give it all back to them

Some things are just terok
But then those people don’t admit
Every time we must pay and pay
Give it all back to them

Don’t you know its true what they say
People here so chin kang kor
When will good times come around?

Don’t stop, never give up,
Keep complaining, just talk cock.
Let’s show the world we’re chin kang kor
Give it all back to them

Some things are just terok
But then those people don’t admit
Every time we must pay and pay
Give it all back to them

2005-03-18T09:23:00.000-08:00

HARRY POTTER
(Based on “All My Loving” by the Beatles)

Take your wand, and I’ll duel
Tomorrow you’re expelled
Hogwarts doesn’t care what you do
When breakfast’s under way
I’ll get owls every day
And I hope there’s no Howler today

In Year One Voldemort came
Year Two, Chamber’s opened
Year Three, Sirius Black came for me
And Year Four, Quidditch Cup; Voldemort he came back
Barty Crouch tried to send me to him

I love Hogwarts
I miss it in June
Back to Dursley’s
Holiday in ruins

2005-03-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

Okay... the template on Sinfonia da Stare isn't working very well, so there's some unclear prints... anyway I'm re-posting this here...

Alas, the task force on encouraging Singaporeans to get hitched and produce more babies (SDU included) should have grabbed the opportunity and commission the Black-Eyed Peas to rewrite their hit “Where is the Love” for the local campaign. What a waste they didn’t do it! So I’ve come up with an alternative version for the chorus:

…………………..

WHERE IS THE CHILD
(Based on “Where is the Love” by Black-Eyed Peas)

Our population shrinking
Older population greying
Can you marry and have sex
Or be fined and pay more tax

Tolong, tolong, tolong, help us
Our country needs more births
‘Cause we’ve got the gah’men questioning
Where is the child

The child…
The child…
Where is the child, where IS the child?!

2005-03-17T22:57:00.000-08:00

S’PORE ELECTION
(Based on “S Club Party” by S Club 7)

S’pore
Election today, a come on, yeah
Go voting today, uh huh, everybody
Get down today

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)
S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna make you rich (for this election we’ll be first)

Finally Friday night
Feelin’ kinda stressed, lookin’ quite bad
Gotta keep working, must stay late
Gotta keep praying, job must save (ho!)
Get the meaning (get the meaning)
Save your shillings (save your shillings)
Boss is greater (boss is greater)
But not to worry much ‘cost the gah’men (government) says

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)
S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna make you rich (for this election we’ll be first)

Mer-deka, mer-deka! Throw your fists in the air
Mer-deka, mer-deka! Cos we really care!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!

Goh Chok Tong’s the PM
Lee Kuan Yew’s the SM
Lee Hsien Loong’s the right-hand man
While Richard Hu’s in charge of tax (ooh hoo!)
Wanna upgrade or not?
Wanna pay this and that for long?
Like COE and ERP
But not to worry much ‘cost the gah’men (government) says

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)
S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna make you rich (for this election we’ll be first)

Mer-deka, mer-deka! Throw your fists in the air
Mer-deka, mer-deka! Cos we really care!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! Throw your fists in the air
Mer-deka, mer-deka! Cos we really care!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!

Come on men, join NS!
You there, women, give birth children!

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)
S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna make you rich (for this election we’ll be first)

2005-03-17T09:17:00.000-08:00

CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT TONIGHT?
(Based on “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?”)

I can feel what’s happening
Let me give you a clue
Look at the thermometer and see why
The temp’s risen by two

The blazing sun in the day
There’s UV rays out there
And with all this blistering atmosphere
Disaster’s in the air

Can you feel the heat tonight
The unrest the day brings
The ice, again, is beginning to melt
Spurred on by extreme heat

Humidity makes it worse
It makes us sweat and reek
The cause behind this case? I’ll tell you what
Greenhouse gases run free!

Where’s the Kyoto Treaty
Didn’t they uphold it?
Such emissions will continue to rise
Look we’re going to die!

Can you feel the heat tonight?
The water levels rise
The world, for once, plunges into the heat
Death to its living things

And if the world really heats up
It can be assumed
All living things on earth’ll be history
In short, the world is doomed

2005-03-17T09:16:00.000-08:00

CAN’T HELP RIDING THE SUBWAY
(Based on “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley)

Subways know
Only fools rush in
When chimes go off
For all the doors to close

Someone’s hand
Got stuck in the door
No one can help
Pulling his hand away.

As the subway goes
Towards City Hall
Crowded so it goes
Some things were meant to be…

City Hall
Everyone rush out
Some slip and fall
While others scream and shout

Members of the staff
Shoving in the train
People like sardines
Some things were meant to be…

Homeward bound
Everyone rush in
For I can’t help
Getting a seat for me

2005-03-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

CASH
(Based on “Dance (while the music still goes on)” by ABBA)

Oh, money, it makes me sad
When I lose you I’m so mad
Was it just a dream, everything we earned, everything we had?

Come on, give me some more
Cash while the business still goes on
Don’t think about tomorrow
Cash and forget our misery
Today’s a loan we borrow
Let’s make it a deal, an interest-free deal
When you’re withoutmoney you know how it feels
So cash, it’s our way to stay alive

Yes, all we have to do is
Cash while the business still goes on
There’s not enough for buying
Cash, don’t you see the stock’s crashing
God knows how people’ll live on
But we didn’t make it ‘cause nothing can sell
We just couldn’t help it, nobody’s to blame
So cash while the business still goes on
At least there’s some way to survive

Yet it keeps making me sad
When I lose cash I’m so mad
Was it just a dream, everything we earned, everything we had?

Come on give me some more
Cash while the business still goes on
Just like the days we flourished
Cash, calculate it, how much’s left
One dollar is good enough
Our cash is a snowbird, it’s flying away
You tell me nothing’s left, who else can I pay?
Just loan while the bank has not yet close
This is gonna be our last try
Cash while the bank has yet to close
Don’t think about tomorrow
Cash and remember nothing’s left
Today’s the day we borrow
Let’s get us a creditor, to lend us some cash
A thing to remember when we have been broke
So cash while the bank has yet to close
And let it help us to survive

Cash, while the stock has not yet crashed
This is no time for buying
Cash, don’t you hear them ring the bell
Hurry, our cash is flying
Cash, while the stock is still afloat
Now don’t buy that fur-lined coat
Cash and stop spending, do you hear?
You know we have to survive!

(fade)

2005-03-17T09:14:00.000-08:00

THING VERY LAME
(Based on “Eternal Flame” by the Bangles)

Op’ your mouth
Blabber till night, non-stop
Tell a story to me, But
I don’t understand
You don’t feel the same?
Have I started thinking
Are you saying
Something very lame
I believe, it’s meant to be that lame
I just know when you are speaking
You are talking crap
You don’t feel the same?
Have I started thinking or
Are you saying
Something very lame?

(BUT…)
Pile of crap
I don’t want to hear
How that time you wore socks
With patterns that’re not the same
I don’t wanna hear your story,
(Groans)

2005-03-17T09:12:00.001-08:00

EXAM
(Based on “The Sounds of Silence” by Paul Simon)

Hello exam my old fiend
I’ve come to sit for you again
You had better be a breeze this time
Otherwise my mama’s gonna break my spine
And the knowledge that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

I dreamt of you for quite some time
Studied you for all this while
Never resting for once all these days
Drinking coffee just to stay awake
And Mama, she made those disgusting soup
Black as soot
Which broke the sound of silence

Now under spotlights in the hall
Four hundred people and no more
Everybody sitting for their test
If they fail, in peace they’ll never rest
They were told “My child you must do you best”
They never guess
The sounds of silence

And as the clock hands tick away
On their foreheads do sweat drops spray
Students calling what they learnt that day
And all the fees for tuition they once paid
All their sweat like silent raindrops fell
They were nervous, I could tell

Muggers everyone of them
Must have start reading in their prams
And the teacher called his warning
Fifteen minutes before ending
And the students, plus me all freeze like ice
Not enough time
Before we break the sounds of silence

2005-03-17T09:12:00.000-08:00

OSAMA BIN LADEN
(Based on “Hakuna Matata” by Elton John and Tim Rice)

Osama bin Laden
What a terrible name
Osama bin Laden
Is a man who’s crazed

It means submission
To fear for all your days
He’s the problematic philanthropist
Osama bin Laden!

Why, when he was a teenage man
He found he as better off fighting the Soviets
He joined the mujahideen to fight in the hills
Blood from those he had killed, to stay with his skin
And it hurt that his family brushed off him
An oh, the shame
Upon their names!
Such that they changed their names
And they felt disgusted

Osama bin Laden!
What a terrible name
Osama bin Laden!
He’s a man who’s crazed
It means submission
To fear for all your days
It’s that problematic
Philanthropist…
Osama bin Laden!

Osama bin Laden!
(repeat)

2005-03-17T09:07:00.000-08:00

BOMB AROUND THE CLOCKBOMB AROUND THE CLOCK
(From Rock Around The Clock by Max Freeman)

One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, bomb,
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, bomb,
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, bomb,
We're gonna bomb around the clock tonight.

Take up arms and join the fight
We’re going to kick the Taleban when the clock strikes,
We're gonna kick around the clock tonight,
We're gonna kick, kick, kick 'til they have died.
We're gonna kick, gonna kick, around the clock tonight.

When the planes start dropping all the bombs,
The Northern Alliance will start to hum:
We're gonna bomb around the clock tonight,
We're gonna bomb until Osama dies.
We're gonna bomb, gonna bomb, around the clock tonight.

Kandahar, when it has fell,
Taleban’s gonna be in hell.
We're gonna try around the clock tonight,
We're gonna try, try, try 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna try, gonna try, around the clock tonight.

When the US says ‘Surrender, troops,”
Or we’ll give you shit and start to shoot.
We're gonna shoot around the clock tonight,
We're gonna shoot, shoot, shoot 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna shoot, gonna shoot, around the clock tonight.

When the Taleban’s gone they’ll stop it then,
But look for Osama then again.
We're gonna search around the clock tonight,
We're gonna search, search, search 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna search, gonna search, around the clock tonight.

2005-03-17T09:05:00.000-08:00

BUST, BUST, BUST, BUST
(Based Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom by Vengaboys)

Now I’m short of cash and need a loan
Because I lost my job not long ago
The economy’s bad
Need a hand
I want a banker today
This is what I really need
I need some cash
What I want is dollar notes

Bust, bust, bust, bust
The econ’s really bad
We’re in recession right now
From now until forever…?

Bust, bust, bust, bust
My business’ going bust
Let’s close the shop forever
The econ I can’t trust.

Everybody save up now
The recession is back in town
This is not I forecasted
I just didn’t think of this
Let’s get a loan
What I want is dollar notes

Bust, bust, bust, bust
The econ’s really bad
We’re in recession right now
From now until forever…?

Bust, bust, bust, bust
My business’ going bust
Let’s close the shop forever
The econ I can’t trust.

(Repeat 2x)

2005-03-16T22:53:00.000-08:00

LOBANG KING
(Based on “Dancing Queen” by ABBA)

You can deal, you can sell, having the pay of your life
See that man, watch him think, dig in the Lobang King

Friday morning and his spirits high
Looking for someone to buy
His real estate investments, insurance fees
Saying, “I’ve got the best deals, see?”
Anybody could be that guy
Anxious customer’s who’ll buy
With disasters occurring, everything’s not fine
You’re in the mood for a sale
And if that dream turns real…

You are the Lobang King, fresh but old, only forty-five
Lobang King, get the cash just to buy sharks’ fin
You can deal, you can sell, having the pay of your life
See that man, watch him think, dig in the Lobang King

You persuade them and turn them on
Leave them happy and then they’ll buy
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You’re in the mood for a sale
And when you find that guy…

You are the Lobang King, fresh but old, only forty-five
Lobang King, get the cash just to buy sharks’ fin
You can deal, you can sell, having the pay of your life
See that man, watch him think, dig in the Lobang King

2005-03-16T22:50:00.000-08:00

SINGAPORE
(Based on "Waterloo" by ABBA)

My my, at Singapore did Raffles try to make a deal
Oh yeah, and I have always followed the same when I’m doing business
The history book on the shelf
For businessmen how does it help?

Singapore - I earned my degree, yet there’s no job
Singapore - visit the loo have to flush some more
Singapore - couldn’t chew gum if I wanted to
Singapore - everyday I get the morning blues
Singapore - I am still living in Singapore

My my, I tried to sing karaoke in the night
Oh yeah, now I’ve been arrested and no one cares about my plight
And how could I ever bail out
In jail because I simply shout

Singapore - COE prices cost more and more
Singapore - taxi fares are not worth any more
Singapore - cannot drive fast if I wanted to
Singapore - knowing the cops will be tailing you
Singapore - I am still living in Singapore

The people must always have face
They don’t like to be a disgrace

Singapore - Brits were defeated, Japs won the war
Singapore - riots occurred in 1-9-6-4
Singapore - struck by crisis in ninety-seven
Singapore - three years later, here we go again
Singapore - I’m still living in Singapore

2005-03-16T22:44:00.000-08:00

SINGAPORE 2001 - CAN SURVIVE!
(From Stayin’ Alive by Bee Gees)

In 1929 the stock market crashed.
And now it’s nearly happened again.
We just came out of the storm
Here we go again just one year later.
Now it’s not good, it’s not OK.
How can you look the other way?
How can we try to understand
The Gah’men’s effect on men?

The women complain that the Gah’men show biasness.
The men are breadwinners; must find work.
Economy breaking and bosses are firing.
How to survive? How to stay alive?
Ah, ha, ha, ha, ready to die, ready to die.
Got no money how to survive?

The stocks go low; suddenly go high.
And all the stockbrokers are ready to cry.
People who still spend money are real fools.
Go and play 4D; too bad, they still lose.
These people really ng chai see,
They’re going to end up in deep shit.
When will they start to understand
This will not have a good end?

Everyday we wonder whether we will lose our jobs.
What to do leh? Got to stay alive.
Cost-cutting measures and retrenchment exercise.
Children got five - how to stay alive?
Ah, ha, ha, ha, job cannot find, job cannot find.
Got no job - how to stay alive?

Now have no work; have to attend job fair.
Gah’men got to help me, yeah.
Any job will do; I don’t really care.
Gah’men got to help me, yeah.
Can survive!

2004-08-22T05:13:00.002-07:00

Both "Go to Sleep" and "It is Here" share the same melodies. The melody can be found at my SibeliusMusic website (click on the link) under "Go to Sleep"

GO TO SLEEP

(The Lullaby Version)

Sleep, go to sleep,
Go to sleep, no more worries.
Dream, dream your dreams,
Dream your dreams, you are free.
Day has gone past you
Night-time is here.
But I will keep you safe
You do not have to fear, you are
Warm and warm till dawn has come.
Sleeping soundly for tomorrow’s run.
I will keep watch over you
And I will sing lullabies to you
See to you
God protect him

Rest, rest your mind,
Rest your mind, you are tired.
Close, close your eyes,
Close your eyes, it is quiet.
Tomorrow morning, you would have left.
Let me take care of you,
Rest in my peaceful nest…
The sun will rise so soon…
Gone will be the moon…
A mother just to you…

(The Funeral Version)

Sleep, go to sleep,
Go to sleep, no more worries.
Rest, rest in peace,
Rest in peace, you are free.
Your time is over
Gone is the day
Reach out for God’s blessed hand
Fly up to Heaven where you play
Free and ever filled with joy
Run around just like a little boy
God will keep watch over you
And I’ll say a prayer for you too
God blessed
Amen.

(IT IS) HERE

Female Lead
Here I was born to the world in my home
Here I was clothed, I was fed; I was safe.
This is a place the way that I know,
Where thoughts work inside me, where all my dreams are made,

It is here; I lay aside my fears.
Not afraid that I’ll reduce to tears.
For I know that someone’s here.
To provide a comforting few words that will help comfort me, keep me here.

Male Lead
Here I was lost, I was helped, I was found.
Here I took in all the sights and the sounds.
I thank my elders for helping me.
Attribute this to them, they helped me to see.

It is here that I open my eyes.
See the world so big and round and wide.
My heart’s beating fast inside,
For I know that Singapore will climb, to the top, to the sky.

Together
Here we’re free to be ourselves.
This is something that I’ll like to tell.
To the world and far beyond,
That our Singapore has all the peace; it is well, going strong.

Female Lead
Here I place my foot upon…

Male Lead
Here is where I will belong…

Together
Here we’re free and living well.
There’s a message that we’ll like to tell from, from our heart, to the world…

Here, it’s my land; it’s my home, cause it is here.

2004-08-22T05:13:00.001-07:00

THE TEST

It was a test of courage.
The boys had wanted to see if I had dared to roll under the carriage of a moving train, then roll out to the other side of the track.
It was dangerous, but yet I felt I had to do it.
I had suggested this. Back then, I had spoken without thinking. Now, I was going to do this foolish thing which could probably cost me my life, let along my limbs. I could have kicked myself.
But I had to show to the gang that I was not chicken; I was brave enough to do so.

Last Saturday, the whole gang had gathered at our usual spot outside the shopping centre. As usual, everyone wore the same black-coloured shirt with the picture of a red skull printed near the top-right-hand corner, where the heart should be.
For nearly an hour, we stared and made wolf-whistles at the pretty girls who passed by. Sometimes, their boyfriends would approach us threateningly and demanded that we leave their girlfriends alone, only to be greeted with angry remarks and threats of being beaten up from the gang.
That day, the weather happened to be sunny. But the sun cruelly shot its rays at us, till we felt so hot that we had to retreat into the cool of the shopping centre. Unfortunately, it was very crowded. Even the parapet built around the basin of the fountain was filled up.
Now everyone was feeling very bored – and thirsty. Someone volunteered to buy drinks, and we all stood and discussed the night’s events.
Nobody offered a ‘sensible’ solution: karaoke (singing at a bar), girls spotting and motorcycle racing (at a deserted road in the northern part of Singapore) had all been done many times repeatedly.
As I sat listening to the gang arguing out their ideas, a thought came into my mind. Immediately, I turned to the group, “How about running across the Light Rapid Transit (LRT) tracks just as a train is approaching the station?”
All the gang members looked at me, speechless. “(Are) you sure or not?” Lao Da, the leader, asked.
I laughed. “Why not? I just have to run across two pieces of concrete – no, four, because one track requires two concrete slabs for the wheels. It’ll be chicken.”
Lao Da suddenly let out a toothy grin. “Eh! Our Xiao Di (younger brother) is getting more courageous!”
“Let’s put him to the test!” someone else shouted.
There was lots of cheering, until we attracted other members of the public. We ignored them. Toasting our cups of Coke together, I found myself grinning from ear to ear. I was going to be a hero.

When I got home, my mother was reading the newspapers. “Come here and look at this article,” she said as soon as I stepped into the house.
I walked over, and peered at the small text over her shoulders. “Man Run Over By LRT Train”, the headline screamed.
I continued to read, “A man climbed down from the station platform onto the LRT tracks yesterday evening at about 11:15am. He was supposedly drunk, as he failed to see the approaching LRT train coming towards him. The train ran over him, killing him instantly.”
Mother was shaking her head. “What a poor guy. Run over by a train.” She turned towards me. “You’d better be careful when you ride the LRT. Don’t stand too close to the platform edge, in case you tumble over onto the tracks.”
“Yes, Mother,” I replied, and hurried to my room.
As I sat down on my bed, fear shot through me. The task was not as easy as I had thought. It was a risky one; if it went wrong, that could be the end of me. I pictured myself dying a bloody and sudden death on the tracks. I pictured Mother and Father crying like mad over the death of their only son.
No! I was burning with rage. I no longer felt like a courageous hero. Instead, I was a fool. How could I have made such a stupid mistake? Who the hell was I to be a hero?
“I must call off this act,” I said firmly to myself. I decided to tell the others that I was not going to be stupid enough to do something life-risking. This would be the right thing to do; the right kind of courage.
But the guys would call it ‘absolute bullshit’.
It was now or never. This was to be the real test.

At eleven precisely, I met the others at the Phoenix LRT station. We choose this station as it was one of the quieter and more deserted stations. With nobody around, it was easier to concentrate on doing the act, without anyone around to tell us off.
Two guys kept watch at the entrance of the station, in case anyone came up and caught us on the tracks, which was forbidden. Two other guys rode the LRT trains – in both directions. The guy in the train that was closer to the station would call Lao Da via cellular phone. Lao Da would then prepare me for the dash. I was to dodge both the trains.
Earlier, I had tried to call off this stunt, but the guys refused to buy the idea. Now, I was sweating, taking in deep breaths to calm myself before I made what would be my final test of courage and wit.
I had expected each train to come in at different times, with an interval in between for me to catch my breath. Ironically, both approached the station at almost the same time.
After both calls arrived, the guys on the platform had come up to me and patted me on the back to wish me good luck. Lao Da had stayed with me until the sighting of the two trains. Then he had gone back to stand with the rest of the group.
My brain was doing all the calculations. There had to be a minimal distance of about one-and-a-half-metres between the trains and my body, judging by the speed of the oncoming trains.
Just as the first train was two metres away from me, I took a great leap, off the platform and onto the concrete guideway, narrowly missing the electrified guide rails. I ran forward, just as the first train whizzed past behind me.
The second train was about three metres away as I was tackling the second track. But the obstacle was climbing the rather high platform. Quickly, I threw my leg onto the platform floor, but it slipped down.
The train was two metres away and approaching.
Panicking, I made another attempt. This time, my muscles locked tight as my leg touched the floor. Using my arm strength, I threw my entire body onto the platform altogether.
I lay on my back, gasping for breath.
Beside me, the train slowly came to a grinding halt. With a hiss, the doors opened. One of the gang members stepped out. He took one glance at me, then shouted triumphantly to the others, “He did it!”
There was a lot of cheering and clapping as I pulled myself up. My legs had turned jelly. I settled myself down onto a bench.
The two trains had left the station. The entire gang, including Lao Da, scrambled across the tracks (at the same time taking care not to step onto the guide rails). They surrounded me, patting my back and ruffling my hair.
So this was a lucky day for me. I was hailed as a hero for this daring stunt, and became popular among the gang members.
More importantly, I learnt the true meaning of courage. Courage is not about showing off to others how you can do difficult yet dangerous things. Courage is daring to speak up when others jeer you. Courage is willing to work hard and make the change despite being looked down by others.
It had been a test of courage.

2004-08-22T05:13:00.000-07:00

"FREEDOM"

FREEDOM!
That great cry, which is music to everyone’s ears.
That magnificent shout, signifying the road to independence.
That yell which groups the world together to fight for it.
FREEDOM, is it!

A mosquito buzzed close to my ear. I swatted it – missed.
The sweltering heat was unbearable. All of us would have liked to stop work and rest, but our boss said no.
We were slaves; that was the reason. We were made to work without pay, and were treated like animals.
I was not born a slave, but became a slave at the age of nine. My father was short of money, so he loaned some from this rich Malay plantation owner, who is now my master. But Father could not repay the money he borrowed, so he had no choice but to give me away to the plantation owner as a slave to settle the debt. This is called debt slavery.
Before the plantation owner came to pick me up, my heartbroken father shed a tear, and trembled, “My son, I’m sorry that I have to do this to you.”
He wiped a tear running down his cheek. “If I don’t give you away, I will have to go in your place. I know I’m being selfish for not going since I have to bear the responsibility, but I’m old, and there will be no one to care for the family if I leave. I’m sorry, son. I’m very sorry son.”
He sniffed. “But, I believe, that one day you will find your freedom and go your way to make your living.”
At that time, I was young, and had no dreams. I was sceptical. I knew that debt slaves went and never returned. They worked until they died in their master’s place.”
At this moment, the plantation owner arrived, and I was pushed into the carriage. My father was still watching me with mournful eyes as our carriage rounded the bend.
My master owns a large rubber plantation in the state of Perak, Malaya. In this state, made rich because of its tin trade, Sultan Abdullah reigns. Matters are done very conservatively. Therefore, debt slavery still exists.
There were nine other slaves when I first arrived at the plantation. Upon arrival, I was thrown into a small hut, made to drop my things and get cracking. I scurried from the hut to the plantation with my master glaring at me. After I had started work, he finally left – for the comfort of his bungalow on the other side of the plantation.
We worked from morning till night, without rest, except for a lunch break, of which little food was given. We only stopped work at eight in the evening, and we were so exhausted that some of us fell asleep immediately. But none of us could sleep properly, as all ten of us had to squeeze into one small hut.
There were other perils in our daily work. There were the dangers of snakes and the occasional tiger. Mosquitoes were plentiful, and malaria was common. One of the slaves, Hasid, fell ill having got bitten by one, and nearly died from the disease.
Life was pure hell. The master or his assistants would flog us if we slogged. The harder we worked, the more latex we produced. This increased the master’s profits, and only increased our resentment and unhappiness.
So this was the life I have led. My fellow slaves had often hoped for a miracle to happen, that one day the slaves were freed, and such discrimination discontinued.
I had not forgotten my father’s words.

The British arrived in Malaya when I was twenty-one-years-old. I was told that they were rapidly expanding their influence in Southeast Asia, having colonised Singapore, an island just south of us.
With the British in Malayan soil, the other slaves and I began hoping for a miracle, that the British come and save us from this hell. The master had gone to far in insulting us with names and locking us up in a small dark room for days for poor work. We did not tolerate that.
After the Larut Wars, of which involved two rival Chinese secret societies, the British took over the administration, employing a British man to help Sultan Abdullah rule Perak. His name was Birch. Although the Sultan and his men didn’t like Birch because he was arrogant and cared little for our customs, we were happy about him having a stake in ruling the state. He declared that he would pass a law to abolish debt slavery and free us. He was our saviour.
And he kept his word.

One Saturday evening, when the master and his family were having dinner in their bungalow, a voice motioned to us. We were working in semi-darkness at that time, so were a little frightened to whom that unidentified voice belonged to.
I plucked courage to approach the voice. To my pleasant surprise, I found that it was a British man, standing behind the fence. “I work for Mr Birch, and have come to set you free from your masters. Call your friends and come with me.”
My heart did a double leap, rose to my throat and lodged there. This was it! The road to freedom! The man’s words were music to my ears.
I ran back to tell the others about my meeting with the British man. At first, they were astonished, and then overjoyed. However, upon meeting the man, they demanded to see identification papers stating that he worked for Birch and not for any slave recruitment agents. The man said, “Trust me.” However, in order to win our trust, he showed us papers with the official British seal.
This time, we were convinced. We were led to the fence surrounding the plantation. There was another man waiting on the other side. The fence was low, so we could climb over. The man outside the plantation helped us down.
Everyone climbed over the fence one by one. I was the last. I placed one foot on the thin metal railing. My hand gripped the bar at the top. I swung my legs over the bar…
Suddenly, there was a shout. Then there were gunshots and dogs barking. The master’s men were advancing on us!
“Hurry!” the British inside the plantation yelled. Without waiting for me to get down from the fence, he began scaling it agilely. I was impressed by the speed at which he climbed up the fence – I was not good at climbing vertical bodies – but there was no time to lose. As the dogs pounced against the fence and rattled it, I jumped down from the top of the fence in shock. I fell on my knees, and bruised it. But I ignored the pain. What mattered most was that I was FREE!
The British supported me, and all of us ran up the slope, towards Pasir Salak (where Birch’s house was) and towards freedom.

Birch’s house was a large bungalow. There was a basement, and here he converted it into a living quarter. There were only two slaves inside when we arrived, bringing the total number of occupants to twelve. But this room was much more spacious, unlike the hut at the plantation.
Birch promised to defend us, and he kept his word. My angry master turned up a few days later looking for Birch to dig his guts out for helping us to escape. His men must have seen the British helping us out and therefore guessed that it was Birch’s doings, since he opposed slavery. He demanded to know where his slaves were. But Birch said he never did such a thing, and didn’t know who his slaves were.
From underneath the floorboard, we listened to every word in that conversation between an angry master and a calm and trustworthy Birch. Eventually, we heard the master storming away, unable to claim back his slaves.
Our ordeal was over.

About two weeks later, we left the quarter. We would be going out into the world, seeking new jobs, looking for a new lease of life. Birch wished us all good luck. We could not thank him enough for helping us, but he said, “Forget it. I’m the Resident-in-charge here anyway. Your social welfare is of utmost importance.”
We stepped out into the warm sunshine. From here, we parted and went our own ways. We could do whatever thing we liked, go wherever we wished to go. I decided to return home after spending almost twelve years away.
As I walked, I felt like a bird just released from its cage. I was now flying freely in the air, not controlled or restricted by anything but me. I was myself; no one would take over my life for good.

2004-08-22T05:12:00.000-07:00

This script was written for Gamma House for the purpose of the college's Chinese New Year celebrations, where each House had to present a skit or something to do with the theme of the Year of the Horse, which is represented by a float made by the members of the House themselves.

DRAMATIC PLAYSCRIPT
A PLAY IN ONE ACT

"GOLDEN JUBILEE"

SCENE 1: The Heavens
Setting the arena: Two thrones are set on centre stage - one for the Jade Emperor while the other is for the Heavenly Mother. Fog pours out all over the stage.

• The Legend of the Dragon begins to play.

(Deities move in from stage left and right, in step to the music. They form a formation similar to the one shown above.)

(Jade Emperor enters from stage right and walks with a majestic stride towards the throne in the centre of the arena. The Heavenly Mother follows close behind.)

All Deities (bow and speak with respect)
Our respects to the Jade Emperor and the Heavenly Mother.

Jade Emperor
Please rise.

(Deities obey.)

(God of Signs enters stage left and walks hurriedly in step to centre stage.)

God of Signs (kneels down and bows deeply and speaks respectfully)
My respects to you, Your Highness.

Jade Emperor
Please rise.

God of Signs
Your Highness, what have you asked me here for?

Jade Emperor (stroking his beard)
Well, as you know – or should I say, as everybody knows – the year of the Snake is coming to an end. So it’s goodbye to that dratted Snake! – what the hell, all he does is sit in his residence and feast on rats all day long.
(Leans forward and raises a finger)
By the way, get more rat representatives when that year arrives. We’re running out of rats already.

God of Signs (bows with hands clasped together)
Yes your Highness.

Jade Emperor (leans back on his throne, and resumes stroking his beard)
Okay…where was I? Ah yes…we need a representative for the New Year. Uh… this year was a snake. Therefore next year has to be a -

God of Signs
Horse, your Highness

Jade Emperor
Ah yes. A horse.
(To the God of Signs)
Go to the mortal world and pick two horses - a male and a female. The chosen ones will be the Golden Horses for the New Year.

God of Signs
Yes; Your Highness.
(Bows.)
I take my leave now.
(Turns around and exits stage left).

(Fog filters through the stage floor.)

SCENE 2
Setting the stage: Stagehands run into the performing arena and remove the thrones. Two other stagehands wait at the far end of stage right, holding a red ribbon perpendicularly across the running track.

In order:

LANE HORSE/JOCKEY (this is the correct information)
8 Bubbles / Josey
7 Thunder / Edward
6 Buttercup / Blossom
5 Aurora / Edd
4 Jubilee / Johnny
3 Eddy / Dexter
2 Iris / Dee-dee
1 Cepheus / Ed

(Horses and jockeys quickly enter through stage left. The jockeys are riding on top of the horses. They line up in their respective lanes at the start of the running track on stage left.)

• Cast members playing the horses will be required to get down on all fours and crawl in order to move. Their respective jockeys will sit on their backs.
• Announcer is to sit at a table at the top of the grandstand. He should have a drink with him, of which he would slurp it deliberately. Also, the Announcer’s voice should be projected through the horn speakers in the stadium to give it a feel of really being at the turf club.

Announcer (speak deliberately in a monotone)
Ladies and Gentlemen. Welcome to the final race of the year: the Temasek Cup.
(Spectators cheer.)
If you’ll turn your heads and look up towards the back of the grand stand, you’ll be able to see me, your idiotic commentator for the day who’s only earning $1 an hour for this sucking job. Thank you for your attention.
(Slurps a drink loudly; such that the sound is projected into the microphone)
Anyway, this is the most prestigious race of the year, featuring a reward of five million dollars as well as a magnificent 24-carat gold trophy.
From Lanes 1 to 8 respectively, we have: Cepheus and his jockey, Ed
(Cheers from the Spectators.)

Ed (yells out loudly while facing the spectators)
Uh…there’s been a mistake…I’m not Eddy. I’m Ed. Ed as in with one ‘d’. Eddy is the other guy -
(Points towards the rest of the jockeys, but to no one in particular.)

Announcer
Oh, sorry. Okay, next up, we have Iris and Dee-dee.

Dee-dee (acting cute)
Hiya, folks! Do you know, I can sing as well as ride a horsy? Let me sing you all a song!
(Jumps off Iris and skips along the track while singing nothing in particular)
La, la, la, la,la…

Announcer (interrupts)
* Ahem! * In Lane 5, there’s Ed -

Dee-dee (screams)
WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME SING?

Ed (shouts towards the grand stand)
I thought you’ve introduced me already?

Announcer
Lady, stop being so childish and immature -

Ed (shouts indignantly)
Who you calling a lady?

Dee-dee (cries and screams)
I HATE YOU!

Ed (turns towards Dee-dee)
WHAT? You hate me? Damn, you women are really good for nothing -

Announcer (in a bored manner)
Fine, fine, go ahead...

Ed
See? Even the announcer agrees!

Dee-dee (sulks)
I HATE all of you!
(Stalks back onto the back of Iris. Bumps so hard on Iris’ back that the horse gives a startled cry of ‘OUCH’!)

Announcer
Okay, where was I? Ah, yes. Edd - Edd as with two ‘d’ s, is riding Aurora, in lane 5.
(Pause)
In Lane 3, we have Dexter the horse -

Dexter (shouts out indignantly)
Ooi! I’m Dexter! Not the horse!

Announcer
Apologies. We have Dexter the hors - I mean, jockey, and his steed, Eddy.

Dexter (arms crossed)
That’s better.

Announcer
In Lane 4, we have Jubilee, ridden by Johnny Boo!

(Cheers erupt from the spectators)

Supporters of Jubilee (rise and cheer)
Jubilee, Jubilee buăy pài siá!
Jubilee, Jubilee you must bĭa!
Jubilee, Jubilee beat the rest!
Jubilee, Jubilee do your best!
(Cheers and applause)

Announcer
Lane 5, Auro - oops, introduced already.
(In a bored voice)
Pass.
(Pause)
Next lane, in Lane 6, Blossom ridden by Buttercup!

Blossom (yells angrily)
Stu-pig! You made the same mistake again!

Announcer
What did I do?

Blossom
You confused horse and man! This is against human rights principles. I’m telling you, I’m a human rights activist -

Announcer (in a bored voice)
Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Go ahead and talk more crap. Let’s cancel the race and go and play “Who wants to be a Millionaire”. It’s more worth it…

Edward (yells)
You haven’t introduced me yet!

Announcer
Yeah, yeah. Fine. There’s Thunder in Lane 7 -

Edward
With Edward the jockey on his back.

Announcer (perks up)
Good! You know the rest. You can take over my job any day.

Supporters of Thunder (rise and cheer)
Thunder, thunderation
We the bookies dedication
When we piă with determination
We create a sensation!
(Repeat another 3 times: 2nd time clap hands, 3rd time stamp one foot, and 4th time jump on the spot. When the cheer is over, clap and whistle loudly.)

Announcer (in a bored sing-song voice)
Damn you people can’t you see, can’t you see
How your noise’s affecting my commentary?
Every time you cheer, you don’t make things right
And that gives me annoying time.
(Parody from Larger than Life by Westlife)

Supporters of Thunder (cheer again)
Thunder! (there ain’t no horsy better than our Thundey!)
Gonna show them how (you’ve got to wind the cup tonight)
Thunder! (there ain’t no horsy better than our Thundey!)
Gonna take them by (you’ve got to win the cup tonight)
O-oh, o-oh! Throw your legs in the air.
O-oh, o-oh! The wind your hair!
O-oh, o-oh! There’s a trophy over there!
O-oh, o-oh! There’s a trophy over there!
Thunder! (there ain’t no horsy better than our Thundey!)
Gonna show them how (you’ve got to wind the cup tonight)
Thunder! (there ain’t no horsy better than our Thundey!)
Gonna take them by (you’ve got to win the cup tonight)
(Sung to the tune of S Club Party by S Club 7)

Announcer (in a slightly irritated voice)
Yeah, yeah, I’m going to show you how when I get real mad…
Anyway, the last contestant is Bubbles, and her mistress is Josey without her pussycat.

One of the Spectators (yells)
Lame!

Announcer
Yeah, yeah, she’s lame enough all right, with or without her pussycat.

Josey (yells)
Ooi! What talking you?

Announcer
Yeah, yeah, keep talking cock…talk as much cock as you like. I’m going to start the race at the count of zero. Ready folks? Let’s count together. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, GO!

(Horses start to crawl in rather slow motion. Spectators cheer them on. Announcer commentates whatever is going on down there. His tone should be monotonous to add some dry humour. However, Thunder and Jubilee must be in the lead respectively.)

Announcer (when Thunder and Jubilee are nearing the finish line)
Lookie, people. Look at Thunder. He’s running damn fast, man, and that poor old Jubilee is trying to catch up with him.
(Sarcastically)
Look at Edward the Animal Rights Abuser. Whacking the poor old animal like nobody’s business. What d’ya expect? Jockeying is a lame job.
(Thunder crosses the finishing line; Supporters of Thunder erupt into cheers.)
Very nice! The race has ended. Applause, ladies and gentlemen! This is not an economical problem of whether to clap or not. Use your common sense, folks! Clap! Now, there’s it.
(Jubilee crosses the finishing line; Supporters of Jubilee cheer, followed by booing from the Supporters of Thunder.)
Now, now, people, be nice. We must taking winning graciously.
(Pause)
Okay, the rest of ‘ol horses can stop running. Take a break. The race is over.
(Horses continue to run along the track.)
That’s it. I’m going home. I don’t even get any respect here.
(Sips his drink loudly.)
Damn, it’s cold already.

Supporters of Thunder (standing up and cheering)
Olé, olé, olé, olé, Thunder is best, Thunder is best!
Olé, olé, olé, olé, our wallets’ fat, our wallets’ fat!
(turn towards Supporters of Jubilee)
Tidak, tidak, tidak boleh, Jubilee làn, Jubilee làn.
Tidak, tidak, tidak boleh, so malu one, so malu one.
(Laugh)

(VIP walks out from the base of centre stage. At the same time, Edward and Thunder trot down the track from stage right towards centre stage. VIP shakes Edward’s hand, hands Edward the trophy and hangs a garland around Thunder’s neck. Thunder neighs. Supporters of Thunder cheer.)

(All Horses and Jockeys exit stage right. Supporters quieten and sit down.)

SCENE 3: IN THE STABLES
(Jockeys lead their horses towards centre stage one by one. The horses are arranged in a circular manner. Jockeys leave their horses and exit stage right. When the Jockeys have all gone, the Horses stand straight – i.e. the actors stand up like normal human beings…duh!)

Cepheus
I say, that was a good win, Thun.

Thunder (proudly)
Obviously it was. All thanks to dear old Jub. What do you say, eh, Jub?
(Jubilee says nothing, but remains standing very still.)
Why, Jub? Too embarrassed to say anything? To inferior to utter a word, let alone neigh? Too ashamed that you have let your bookies down?
(Guffaws with laughter.)

Buttercup (grabs Thunder’s arms and shoulders in a seductive manner.)
Oh, Thunder, leave the poor chap alone. Take pity on him. Why torment him if he can’t run as fast as you? It’ll only make him feel even more bitter.

Thunder (towards Buttercup)
You’re right, Buttercup.
(Towards Jubilee)
Heard that, Jub? We won’t torment you. We’ll just let your guilt sink deeper and deeper into your heart! Ha, ha, ha!

Bubbles
Oh, don’t be so mean, Thunder. What has Jubilee done to offend you?

Thunder
Wow, you’re siding up with him against me, eh?
(Cowers)
Ooh, I’m scared! I’m scared!
(Stands up straight, crosses hands and laughs. The other horses laugh along as well.)

Bubbles (to Jubilee)
Ignore him.

(Jubilee only nods.)

Aurora (yawns)
Let’s go to sleep. We’ve had such a tiring day today. Good night.

Horses (in unison)
Good night.

(All horses except Jubilee drop down on all fours, head drooping down as if they are asleep. Jubilee wanders out of the circle, strolling aimlessly down the running track. Suddenly, a shooting star flashes across the sky-

• The shooting star effect could be achieved by either one of two methods:
• a stagehand standing at the top of the grand stand hurls a yellow-painted stone with a long yellow ribbon attached to it as hard as he can. The stone should touchdown on the tip of stage left.
• Using a makeshift ‘rocket’. The idea is to fill a bottle with water, pump in air with great pressure through the neck of the bottle. The air will try and force the water inside the bottle out. The pressure released will cause the bottle to shoot away high into the air. This should be attempted from the base of the grand stand, and the rocket should land somewhere in the middle of the field, if it is well done.
By the way, the bottle is to be painted yellow, with a yellow ribbon attached as the tail of the shooting star.

(Jubilee gazes at it as it sails across the sky, across from stage left to right. When it lands, Jubilee runs after it. At the same time, God of Signs appears from where the fake shooting star has landed. God of Signs has one arm akimbo, while the other is rubbing his back.)

God of Signs (aloud, to himself)
Ouch…what a painful landing.

(Jubilee comes up to the God of Signs.)

Jubilee
Who are you?

God of Signs
Me? I’m the old caretaker, talking a midnight walk, just like you.

Jubilee
Don’t you always sleep at night? Don’t you have to rise early in the morning?

God of Signs
Nah, I can’t sleep tonight. Guess I drank too much tea just now.

Jubilee
I see. Well, Sir, enjoy your stroll.
(Turns to leave. Suddenly, he stops in his tracks and turns around to face the God of Signs.)
Wait a minute, you can’t be the caretaker.

God of Signs
Why not?

Jubilee
Because, in the first place, you can speak to a horse. Secondly, the caretaker is a gruff old man who scorns at us horses. Thirdly, the real caretaker doesn’t drink tea. He drinks coffee.

God of Signs
Oh, I see.
(Rubs his chin)
So I’m just a counterfeit version of the caretaker?

Jubilee
Darn right you are.

God of Signs
What a clever horse you are…hmmm.
(Continues rubbing his chin.)
Fine, I’m the God of Signs.

Jubilee (guffaws with laughter)
God of Signs? You’re in charge of all the road signs and shops signs and traffic lights?

God of Signs (gruffly, rather offended)
No. I’m the God of astrological signs, as in zodiacs and horoscopes. Well, since you’re here I might as well tell you the main purpose of my arrival on earth. AS you can see, next year is the Year of the Horse –

Jubilee
It is already 2002, Sir.

God of Signs
I know, I know. But what I’m referring to is the New Year of the Lunar Calendar. Anyway, every lunar year the Heavens will choose a mortal animal representing that year to be the Golden Animal of the Year.

Jubilee
You mean as in the next lunar year is the year of the horse, and that you will be choosing a horse to be the Golden Animal of the Year?

God of Signs
Clever boy.

Jubilee
Choose me, please.

God of Signs (rather hesitantly)
Well…there are some prerequisites to be considered. The would-be candidate should have the qualities of virtue – too many to describe. In other words, the animal must be good.

Jubilee (wistfully)
But I’ve committed some bad as well.

God of Signs
Oh, everybody commits sins, even me, when I was still a living man. But the number of sins committed should not exceed the number of virtues.

Jubilee
So how would you assess me?

God of Signs
Ah, we shall see.
(Takes out a funny-looking water pocket-watch)
I should be going now. I’m travelling across the Seven Seas to some other place.
(Looks up and grins at Jubilee)
It’s a secret, though.

Jubilee
Goodbye, and have a safe trip.

God of Signs
Oh, you needn’t worry about me.
(Turns to walk away. As he speaks, his back is towards Jubilee)
I won’t crash into buildings –
(As if to mean it, he deliberately trips and falls.)
OUCH!

Jubilee (rushes over)
Sir, are you alright?

God of Signs (Picking himself up.)
Yes, yes. Don’t ever look though on a sprightly old man like me. I go for jogs around the Heavens everyday. Well, goodbye, and I hope to see you again.

Jubilee
Goodbye.

(God of Signs walks out of the performing arena and disappears beneath or to the side of the Grand Stand. Jubilee remains where he is, watching the God of Signs walk away.)

• Morning Mood plays

Aurora (lifts his head up)
Ah! What a beautiful morning!
(Sniffs the air)
Rise and shine everybody!

(All the other horses lift up their heads; some go about stretching themselves.)

Bubbles (turning towards Jubilee’s previous sleeping spot)
Where’s Jubilee?

Eddy
Yeah, where’s Jubilee?

Thunder (in a haughty voice)
He probably got so ashamed of losing the race that he left!

Bubbles (in a reprimanding tone)
THUNDER! How could you say such a thing?

Buttercup (going up close to Thunder)
Oh, Bub, just go out and look for your beloved Jubilee. We’ll save breakfast for you.

(Both Thunder and Buttercup laugh. At this point of time, Jubilee slowly walks back to the circle of horses.)

Jubilee
Good morning, everyone.

Bubbles (worriedly)
Where in the world have you been all night? We were worried sick.

Jubilee
I went for a walk under the stars.

Thunder (in a mocking tone)
Ooh, now that Jubilee is here safe and sound, I guess we can go for breakfast now. Come on, Buttercup.

(Thunder and Buttercup turn towards stage left and proceed to leave.)

Jubilee
Listen, yesterday I met a peculiar old man while taking my night walk.

Eddy (in an unconvincing tone)
An old man? In the middle of the night? You must be kidding!

Aurora
Was it the caretaker?

Jubilee
I thought so at first, but afterwards my instincts told me that something was definitely wrong about this old man, which couldn’t make him be the caretaker.

Iris (shrieks)
OH, MY GOSH! It must be an alien from outer space!

Cepheus
Shut your crap, Iris.

Iris (continues shrieking hysterically)
It must be aliens! They’ve come to take over the world! We’re doomed! We’re going to be guinea pigs for their experiments!

Aurora
Iris, shut that trap of yours up.

Iris (still shrieking in an even higher pitch)
It’s aliens -

Everybody
SHUT UP!

Eddy (angrily)
Go! Everybody SIAM! Go and makan!

(All horses except Bubbles and Jubilee leave, exiting by stage left.)

Bubbles (speaking only when all the other horses have left)
You really met a deity last night?

Jubilee
Well, it has to be. He personally told me that. Besides, the caretaker always shouts at us when we make too much noise. A grouchy old man can’t suddenly transform himself into a benign gentleman.

Bubbles
You’re probably right. What was he talking about, that Golden Animal thing?

Jubilee
Well, every year, for New Year in the lunar calendar, an animal is chosen to be the Golden Animal. He will be the representative animal for that particular year bearing his species, so I am told.

Bubbles
You want to be the Golden Animal?

Jubilee
I hope so, but he told me there were prerequisites.

Bubbles
What sort of prerequisites?

Jubilee
I don’t know. He never revealed anything to me. Now I’m not even sure I was actually dreaming or not. Never mind. Let’s go for breakfast.

(Both Bubbles and Jubilee exit stage left.)

• Music changes to Claire de Lune

SCENE 5
(All Horses enter stage left, lead by their respective Jockeys. They are put in the same circular formation, which they had lined up previously. Then the Jockeys leave, exiting the stage from either sides.)

Cepheus
Good night, fellows.

Aurora
Nitey night.

(Iris yawns.)

Eddy
Sweet dreams

Bubbles
Sleep tight.

(All Horses drop their head down, as if they are sleeping.)

• Music stops.

(Intruder 1 enters stage right and tiptoes quietly towards the sleeping Horses. Once or twice he steals a glance backward. When he nears the horses, he walks one round about the horses to check on them. Then he beckons to Intruders 2 and 3. Intruders 2 and 3 tiptoe one after the other towards Intruder 1.)

Intruder 1 (in a whisper)
The coast is clear.

Intruder 2 (in a whisper)
Let’s do it.

Intruder 3 (in a whisper)
Where’s the horse which won the Temasek Cup?

Intruder 1 (in a whisper)
Let me see…
(Walks a bit. Suddenly he stops and points towards Thunder.)
Ah-ha! Here he is.

(Intruder 2 produces rope and tiptoes forward in an attempt to tie the rope around Thunder’s neck. But he suddenly trips forward and falls onto Thunder!)

Intruder 1 (hisses)
You stupid fool!

(Thunder suddenly cocks his head up. He looks at Intruder 2, the latter who happens to make eye contact with him. Thunder begins to neigh frantically.)

Intruder 2 (angrily)
Shut up!
(Attempts to tie the rope around Thunder’s neck.)

(Thunder’s cries awake the other horses. Upon seeing what has happened, they begin to neigh incessantly and alarmingly. They turn their bodies around to face the Intruders. Intruder 2 drops the rope and hurries back to Intruder 1’s side. Intruder 3 slowly backs away. Intruder 1 produces a gun and fires into the air. BANG! All the horses are stunned for a moment, then in fright, they start to neigh and gallop about madly. Intruder 2 tries to seized the opportunity to re-capture Thunder, so sneaks in through the chaos and reaches for the rope. Intruder 1 fires another shot, and the horses suddenly make a beeline for stage left, leaving Jubilee and Thunder alone. Thunder is struggling to free himself from the clutches of Intruder 2. At this moment, Jubilee rushes up and knocks Intruder 2 down. Intruder 2 falls on his back. Intruder 3 brandishes a knife and rushes forward towards Jubilee, the knife held high as if to stab Jubilee anytime. The man only manages to scratch Jubilee a little before Jubilee kicks him in the groin and he too, falls in pain. Intruder 1 aims his gun towards Jubilee -)

Intruder 1
Take this, you stupid horse!
(Takes aim with the gun)

(At this moment, security and police officers rush in through stage left.)

Officers (shout in unison)
Hands up! And drop your weapons!

Intruder 2 and 3 scramble to their feet and stand beside Intruder 1. Intruder 1 seems unchallenged.

Intruder 1 (laughs)
Get me if you can!

(At this moment, Jubilee limps silently behind Intruder 1. Using his hind legs, he kicks Intruder 1 in the back. With a yell, Intruder 1 falls forward and flat onto the floor. The gun he is holding falls a distance away. Officers quickly surround him and aim their guns at him.)

Lead Officer
Freeze! You’re under arrest!
(A few Officers haul Intruder 1 roughly to his feet.)
You have the right to remain silent. Anything that you say now can be used against you in court.

(A few other Officers round up Intruders 2 and 3. All Intruders have their hands up in surrender. All Intruders are led away by the Officers. They exit stage left. At this time, Johnny rushes towards Jubilee through stage left.)

Johnny (cries)
Jubilee! Jubilee! Are you okay?

(Jubilee neighs.)

Johnny (examines Jubilee’s body and spots the scratch.)
Oh my goodness! How could they scratch you? I’d better send you to the medic.

(Jubilee is led away by Johnny, out through stage left.)

SCENE 6

(Jockeys and Horses are led onto the performing arena. Only Johnny and Jubilee are not among them. Again, the horses are put into the same circular formation as before. Then Jockeys exit in various directions.)

Eddy
Is Jubilee back yet?

Bubbles
He’s still in the sick bay.

(Jubilee begins to enter stage left.)

Aurora (excitedly)
There he is!

(Jubilee joins the group.)

Jubilee
Hi everyone

Cepheus
Jubilee! Are you all right?

Jubilee
Ah, I’m fine already. The Doc plastered my wounds and it’s expected to heal soon.

Iris
You’re a hero, Jubilee!

Bubbles
Yeah, you prevented those bad guys from taking Thunder away.

(Horses chatter excitedly. They do not notice that Thunder has begun walking away from the group, towards stage right.)

Jubilee (glances around for Thunder, and upon realising he has left the group, speaks to the rest of the Horses)
Excuse me.

Jubilee leaves the group and walks towards Thunder. The other Horses resume their conversation.

Jubilee
Thunder…you okay?

Thunder (in a soft tone; speaks without looking at Jubilee)
Yeah…

Jubilee
Well, that’s good.

Thunder
Jub…I
(Turns to face Jubilee)
Want to say sorry – and at the same time, I want to thank you.

Jubilee
It’s okay…it’s really okay…

Thunder
I’m sorry I mocked at you and made fun of you after winning the cup. I was much too proud. Yet yesterday you still rescued me, despite me treating you badly.

Jubilee
What’s past is past. Don’t rake up the incident again.

Thunder (nods slowly)
Yes, my friend.

(They walk back to rejoin the group.)

• Chariots of Fire start playing.

(Suddenly a voice booms from the background. It is the God of Signs, speaking while being invisible.)

God of Signs (from background)
You have done well.

(Fog begins to filter through the floor.)

Iris (stammering)
Wh…who…who’s that? How come there’s so much smoke?

(God of Signs walks out from hiding underneath the grandstand. He walks slowly and with dignity.)

Jubilee (gasps)
The God of Signs!

(The circular formation of the Horses breaks up. Now the Horses are standing side by side in single file, with Jubilee in the middle.)

God of Signs
My son, you have deserved the status of Golden Animal. Your actions have proven to us that you are the best-suited candidate. Thereupon you shall be crowned as Golden Animal of the Year!

Eddy
What’s going on?

Jubilee (facing Eddy)
Remember about the old man I was telling you about yesterday?

(God of Signs puts a crown on Jubilee’s head and a medal around his neck.)

Aurora
How long will you be gone?

Jubilee
Maybe a year, at the most. Then I’ll be back next year to race again.

Bubbles (teasing)
Just don’t eat too much heavenly food and grow fat! Otherwise Johnny can’t ride you anymore.

Jubilee (grinning)
I won’t.

(Suddenly there is a shout)

Messenger (shouts)
His Highness arrives!

(God of Signs turns around to look towards the grandstand. The Jade Emperor, the Heavenly Mother and all the other deities enter the stage the same way as the God of Signs.)

God of Signs (bows respectfully)
My respects to your Highness.

Jade Emperor
Please rise.
(Turns towards Jubilee.)
Young horse, you have shown both courage and compassion. You were brave enough to risk your life to help rescue your fellow horse. Also, you never bore a grudge against him even though he mistreated you before. I am very proud of such actions. Therefore, I and my committee have decided to choose you as our Gold Animal of the Year.

(All the other Horses cheer. HORSE FLOAT enters through stage right and turns 90 degrees left onto the running track. The float stops just before the cast. Jubilee climbs abroad. Float starts moving again. As the float moves, all the cast follow the float from behind, waving to the audience as it moves. The float then exits stage left and turns left at the side of the grandstand once more towards the basketball court, the rest of the cast in procession.)

~~~THE END~~~

2004-08-22T05:07:00.000-07:00

LAST NIGHT OF THE WORLD

I haven’t really thought much about Graduation Ceremonies in school over the past few years. In Secondary One and Two, I never attended, always dodging the volunteerism to attend when asked to do so. In Secondary Three, I was conductor for the Orchestra during a performance at the Ceremony. I also witnessed the goings-on in the hall when it came to our turn to perform. Otherwise, I was around the grass patch outside, chatting away with the other musicians.
For the first time, I was actually inside the hall for the entirety of the ceremony. I was to receive prizes, so I sat with the other recipients near the stage.
Strangely, it seemed as though years had flew since prior seeing everyone else again, when only weeks had passed. The two weeks before, we were allowed to stay home to do our revision. We hardly saw one another unless we returned for extra classes in school.
Contrary to my title of this piece, it wasn’t really the final time we saw each other. We would still come face to face with one another when we returned for the O-Level examinations in November. Come to think of it, I still thought this was the last time we would have ‘fun’ and enjoy each other’s company before we really got down to the serious business of studying real hard for the papers.

The ceremony began promptly at 5:00pm.
The members of the concert band assembled on stage while the host politely called for everyone in the hall to rise in anticipation for the arrival of the Guest of Honour, Mr Jimmy Koh, and several delegates who were part of the alumnus.
Just as the conductor waved her baton, a party of guests streamed into the hall - the VIPs first, followed by the teachers. They took their seats in the middle of the hall and everyone sat down again.
Then came the school song. It never sounded better than ever. Either it was played from high-quality amplifiers or it was the last time I would sing it. I found my voice, and tried to sing along. I found myself stuttering, and I was trembling a little. I didn’t know why. Perhaps it was the music itself; I had heard it being played for the rest of my days in Chung Cheng, and now here it was again. But why did it failed to move me until now?
The awards presentation was the next event. The touching part was the presentation of the Leaving Certificates to each and every Secondary Four student. It was the proudest day for everyone; each and every name was read over the amplifiers to the audience in the hall. No matter who he or she was, he or she was on the stage, in front of hundreds, receiving his certificate that marked the completion of life in Secondary School. They received hugs from their form teachers and words of encouragement; they were tears, and each class, as they bowed and made their exit, received a tremendous applause.
The concert was another memorable event. The ‘Amigos Para Siempre’ segment laid a profound significance on me. The slide show and music captivated me; I failed to appreciate the dancers. The show was synchronised in perfect exaction to the music. As the song was in its introductory stage, we watched as the main gate came into view, and we slid underneath the big words saying ‘Chung Cheng High School’ in Chinese and into the school compound we went. Photographs started to appear on the screen. Memorable photographs of our extra curricular activities, and the moments with our classes. Each Secondary Four class cheered and clapped loudly as their class photographs appeared on the screen, accompanied by powerful music.
The song reached its climax, with the lead singers Sarah Brightman and Jose Carreras belting out ‘Amigos para siempreeee!’ at their highest. The trumpets took over the main theme, and there we were, sliding out of the main gate once more - the very place we had entered.
The audience burst into tremendous applause.

The choir came upstage to perform the Chinese song ‘Farewell’. We sat intently listening to their haunting voices. I had heard the song before on many old Chinese shows, like Tofu Street, and it took me back to the past, when, in the olden days, graduating students also sang this song, accompanied by a simple piano accompaniment.
The Graduation Song was our number. The entire hall stood up to sing, but I think the Secondary Fours sang the loudest. During the rehearsal, everyone was either too shy to sing, or refused to open their mouths to take part in the song. But then, their feelings and patriotism probably got the better of them, and today, everyone sang in their loudest.
If We Hold On Together was a dreamy piece, with some students holding hands and singing. Auld Lang Syne, the traditional classic at Graduation ceremonies and New Year’s Day parties, was the finale. I do not know whether to describe this as a New Year’s Day event or a Graduation Day ceremony, as Mr Yue and students alike were going around shaking hands, and the students held hands and swung in a wave-like fashion - I think there were a few tears.
From our juniors, we received a rendition of Home. The song’s lyrics were the same, except that the word ‘Home’ was replaced by ‘Chung Cheng’. The syllables sounded funny, but it was a good shot.

Most people weren’t concerned how well the food tasted; they clutched cameras and went around taking shots of everybody, or else they made communication with their teachers. There were hugs and kisses and group and solo photographs; the last time we would see anyone so let loose. Believe me, I think this atmosphere is bound to change when the exams proper arrive.
A pity we are under aged, or else we could have popped champagne and drink a toast to everyone, wishing them the best of luck in the exams and their future endeavours. What the heck - it was good enough. Some of the boys took to their last game of soccer - in the darkness. Some barged into the teacher’s Common Room and bade their teachers goodbye and with many acknowledgements. All as if it was nobody’s business. This would probably be the last time we would have so much fun, and we cherished it. Would it be too painful or enjoyable just to re-enact tonight’s scene? I don’t know.
Beautiful memories. Just like the lyrics from Miss Saigon:

"It's telling me to hold you tight
And dance like it's the last night of the world"

2004-08-22T05:06:00.000-07:00

Excerpts from "REFLECTIONS BY THE LAKE - Memories of Chung Cheng"

Written as a piece of homework, which was to write a journal about our first three months in TJC. However, I decided to write about CCHS, with whom I have greater and more enjoyable memories.

* * *

Reflections…
…of GHOST STORIES

As an old school, Chung Cheng High has often been rumoured to be plagued with ghosts. A few notable places include the Grand Auditorium (formerly called the ‘Old Audi’) and the CCA Block (formerly named as the ‘Administration Block’; that was, until the Grand Auditorium was renovated and then the staff moved their offices from this particular building).
There was a story behind the CCA Block haunting. It was centred on this girl, who was very bright and managed to enter the Special Stream in the school. Unfortunately, she was involved in an accident, which caused her some brain problems. As a result, she had to move to the Express Stream.
During an examination, for no obvious reason, she suddenly dashed out of the classroom. The astounded teachers followed her. She scooted up the CCA Block to the topmost floor, and appeared at the small window located at the very end of the corridor facing the Grand Auditorium. She threatened to take her life. The teachers gathered at the base of the building facing the façade where that window was. They coaxed her not to do so. But their plea fell on deaf ears.
It was a sad day. But it left a legacy.
It was said that, if one stared at that particular window on the fourth floor at midnight, one would see a female ghost. One of my friends has claimed to see it, but I am unsure whether his claim is true or false.
Most of the stories, however, concern the Grand Auditorium building. It is really a marvellous structure, filled with Oriental flavour – to be precise, from Mao Zedong’s period. There is a gigantic auditorium behind – large enough to be compared to the Victoria Theatre and Concert Hall, although the acoustics there suck.
Magnificent by day, eerie by night. That’s what the seniors used to describe the grand old dame, before she was given a facelift. That claim is rather substantial; the entire school is rather spooky at night, before the lights were erected.
There was the story about the haunted piano backstage. There were actually two pianos. The grand piano used for concerts and recitals was harmless, but the other piano, hidden from audience view, was the nightmare.
This piano was a small upright model, made in China since it bore the name of Pearl River. It was in a dilapidated condition, with a hollow timbre and splitting wood surface. It must have been there since the time of the Communist Insurgence.
This piano seemed to have a mind of its own. Once, a few girls, who had been exploring the backstage, decided to enter the dressing room and close the door. While the door was shut, they thought they heard someone playing the piano. They knew it couldn’t have come from the grand piano since it was located on the stage. The sound was quite audible. They deduced it came from the piano outside the dressing room, which was that upright piano. They opened the door to see who was it playing, but they saw no one. It confirmed their suspicions – if there had been someone else, they would have heard his footsteps. The door of the dressing room was not exactly soundproof.
The other incident was more shocking. Apparently a girl had played on the piano for fun. When she returned to class for her lesson, her friends found that she acted rather weirdly. Halfway through the lesson, she let out an abrupt ear-piercing scream, which shocked the entire population of the class. Her teacher understood that she wasn’t trying to attract any attention, since before that she had been relatively quiet, except for some gibberish that she mumbled to no one in particular. They determined that there was something wrong with her.
Her fears – and the class’ fears – were confirmed after the girl quietened down and began drawing. The object she penned on the paper was – that very piano she had played earlier in the day.
She had been possessed.
After the renovation, the piano had been removed, so there is no knowing what would be the fate of the piano.

The history of Chung Cheng stretched to the wartime era.
There was talk of a tunnel leading from the old library on the second floor of the Old Auditorium to the pond. It was rumoured to have been utilised by the Japanese when they occupied the school for their war efforts. But since then, this claim had been termed as ‘ultimate bullshit’ since no tunnel was reported when the pond was emptied for the construction of the new extension block.
A magnificent and enormous portrait of the school’s founder and first principal, Dr Chuang Chu Lin, hung on the third floor of the Grand Auditorium. Back then, there was a large mezzanine, which could be used as a reception area for functions, before the contractors converted that into a teachers’ workroom. Dr Chuang’s portrait hung from one of these walls. It showed his full figure, dressed in a dark-coloured jacket and trousers. One hand was hidden in a pocket, the other holding a book. The background was that of the shelves in a library.
There was something about this portrait that made the students uneasy, especially when they were all alone on the mezzanine level. One would have the feeling of being watched – as if Dr Chuang’s eyes had come to life and were tailing every movement one made.
During the renovation, the portrait was removed and stored in the PE store at the CCA Block. Once I went into this very PE store for an exploration – and discovered the portrait of Dr Chuang hidden behind some piles of desks. It gave me quite a shock, partly because only his face was revealed and it stared at me with unnerve.
I dashed out of that room without hesitation.

Every year, during the Secondary One orientation, such stories would be passed down by mouth from the seniors to the juniors. Often the tales had modifications, partly due to the fact that such stories could not be remembered in total completion by the storyteller, or that some parts of the stories were hard to believe. Either way, through the process of retelling them, the storyteller would change bits of the stories. There were also claims of white figures jumping at the small windows of the sixth story of the Grand Auditorium, just below the roof. The fourth storey itself had been locked throughout, since the school wanted to prevent students from hiding up there to take a puff, or conceal themselves there for the purpose of cheating in an exam.

* * *
Reflections…
…of CLASS BENEVOLENCE

The Class Population
My class was called ‘Benevolence’; in short form it would be written as ‘BN’. I was in this class for the rest of my Upper Secondary days. And the people there would leave a great impression on me for the rest of my life. Most of the people were interesting characters.

• Kenny Phua: ‘Phuazzy’ often wrote stories – fantasy stories to be exact. Note that these characters were actually names of our classmates.
• Edwin Lee: Edwin was cute and lean. He enjoyed reading comics, and often hid them under his table. He had an extremely weird way of pronouncing words, but they contributed to the fun anyway.
• Adrian Chui: Adrian was fondly remembered for the bandage on his head. During the 2.4km run, he inexplicably rammed his head headfirst into a lamppost. How he did that and why he did that still remained a mystery. Anyway, not long afterwards, our class took a class photograph. I wouldn’t have to tell anyone which person in the photograph was Adrian.
• Shaun Lim: Shaun enjoyed wrestling; he used to organise wrestling in class during recess. Of which the boys from the other classes would come in and observe.
• Kang Liedong: Liedong was mad about Hitler. In fact, he excelled at Hitler too. He scored tops during a History test about the Nazis. His favourite slogan, obviously, was: “Heil Hitler!”
• Bernard Ng: Bernard was a poor thing; he was often made fun of. There were too many jokes anyway.
• Koh Chong Tang: Chong Tang was nicknamed ‘Elmo’ due to his resemblance to the character from Sesame Street. He was a talented guy; he could play the sheng (Chinese Mouth Organ). He could twist his foot such that it faced backwards while he walked forward, and he kept making burping noises to irritate, especially, the girls.
• Chen Zhihan: Zhihan sat behind me in class. He was often complaining about one thing or another. Forever complaining.
• Xu Li’En: Li’En was a cute guy, tall and thin, always chasing the girls – or was I wrong? Anyway, he was an Internet whiz and always hung out on the IRC. He excelled in Chinese chess – well, he was in the Chinese Chess Club anyway!
• Poh Yong Chuan: our class called him ‘Pimp Daddy’. He was kind of disgusting. Someone tried to revere and increase that status by placing a couple of pornographic VCDs on his table during recess, when Yong Chuan was not around. Too bad the other boys jested him.
• Sng Teck Hoo: he knew how to get into fights with others – I tried to avoid offending him as much as possible, but turned out he was nicer than expected.
• Jasmine Ong: the English whiz and ‘Machine Gun’ known for her rapid firing of words. We had always wondered how she had that American accent while the others in her family had none.
• Yau Wan Ping: argh! I’m sorry to say that she was a termagant.
• Sim Chon Ju: our class called her the ‘Dog’ because of her hairstyle, which resembled that of a terrier’s. She was persuaded to change her hairstyle, but would she listen? No. Later, when she tried to cut her hair, the boys jested her even more severely.
• Wilson Tan: this guy was a basketball pro, yet a pain in the neck in school. He was either farting during classes, or disturbing the girls, especially those sitting around him, by doing vile acts.
• Leung Ka Kui: Ka Kui always found himself sleeping in class for some inexplicable reason. Which resulted him being ticked off by teachers frequently.

* * * * *

Reflections…
…of WRESTLING MATCHES IN CLASS

Men will always be men.

And so Men love wrestling.

They can easily rattle off wrestlers’ names, such as The Rock, Kurt Russell, The Undertaker, and a whole list of them.

And it is so that a few of the men in my class have the urge to play rough themselves. Which is why they organised wrestling tournaments almost every recess.

As soon as the bell rang, a representative would be sent downstairs to smuggle food into the classroom. He would take orders from the boys, go to the canteen to purchase the food, and sneak it back by hiding the packets into his schoolbag on the pretext that he had just come from another lesson. Meanwhile, the other boys prepared the wrestling arena, where the matches would be held. The student desks would be pushed back, while the large teacher’s table remained. The desk was a reminiscence of the commentaries’ table used in professional wrestling matches. It was actually a prop that was hinged in the exact middle, such that when a professional wrestler landed on it, it would break into half as if caused by the massive weight of a muscular participant.

Shaun Lim, Ka Kui and Adrian were the main wrestlers. Shaun was a short stocky and bespectacled guy - although he lacked the muscles, his figure was sufficient to knock down any opponent, particular the extremely lean Adrian.

The matches would begin without any formalities. Our wrestlers would charge at each other, and bump their bodies. “Oof!” they cried, and then sprung backward, as if the force threw them apart from one another. Adrian would attempt to lunge at Shaun once again, only to be thrown onto the teacher’s table with great force. Of course, this was all in the act. Adrian merely exerted force onto the table, such that a loud bang was produced.

The boys applauded thunderously.

There was no proper ring; both widths of the classroom substituted as the rope that held the wrestlers within the ring. It was up to the wrestlers in our class to make the effect of ‘bouncing’ off the rope as real as possible. The rope was used as an accelerating tool to hit the opponent at full force.

The wrestling matches are too much to describe; I have provided the basic details about each match. One has to watch it in full to appreciate the humour and the action of the both the wrestlers and the audience. Unfortunately, it doesn’t exist anymore.

* * * * *

Reflections…
…of CONDUCTING THE ORCHESTRA

I first got to conduct my school’s Chinese Orchestra in 2000. The conductor mentioned that he was unable to attend our school’s Chinese New Year celebrations, so he would need someone else to lead the orchestra on his behalf. He began to question the whole lot of us: “Anybody here who knows how to conduct?”
Secretly, I wished I would be the chosen one. Having sat near the front of the orchestra for almost a year, and watching the conductor rehearsing with us, I took a sudden interest in conducting. I thought that it would be fun to be the figure of authority over the entire orchestra. At the same time, I would be able to polish a work through my own interpretations. In other words, I would command the musicians to play the way I wanted them to play.
One of the mysteries that I had never been able to solve was how I became the chosen one. I had just returned from break, and the other members of the orchestra were already seated. I realised I was late, and hurried back to my place. Suddenly, the conductor, seated at the podium, called me, which led me to stop in my tracks. “August, can you conduct or not?”
I was stunned. I never expected him to call me. My heart missed a double beat, rose to my throat and lodged there. I didn’t know whether I should accept or reject.
Eventually I decided to grab this opportunity, otherwise it would never come again. (Looking back, I realised how regretful I would have felt if I had rejected this invitation, citing that I would not be able to conduct due to the lack of training. But what the heck…please read on.)
The conductor gave me on-the-spot training. The strokes were rather difficult at first, but after waving repeatedly for a few times the whole thing became a piece of cake. I also learnt how to read a conductors’ score, which was much more complicating than an ordinary piano score, since there were twenty to thirty staves on the same sheet of paper, each containing a musicians’ part.
On the big day itself, I was undoubtedly nervous. This was the first time I would ever be on stage. As the curtains were raised, the emcee announced my name to the audience. Those who knew me applauded and cheered, which sort of brought back some confidence into me.
The time now came for me to stride onto stage. I was shaking in the knees as I raised my first baton – not more than a wooden stick meant to be a toy car axle – and commanded the orchestra to play. It was like magic, the orchestra responding to each movement.
I practised body movement in my conducting, for I felt that by standing there and simply waving my hands, I would rather have used a metronome in my place.
I was happy that my first effort didn’t flop, although some teething problems did arise midway through the performance.

The most embarrassing moment of my conducting experience was in the year of 2001, when I was suddenly asked to conduct a small ensemble (from our school) for their performance at the Teacher’s Day Dinner – again for the same reason that the conductor could not make it.
The banquet was held at the Central Parkroyal Hotel in town. The stage was quite small – the percussion had to be moved to the bottom right-hand-side of the stage, and the cellos and double bass had to play on the floor, right next to the guest-of-honours, since the rest of the instruments took up the rest of the space. For me, I improvised standing on the makeshift steps that were meant for the stage. It was narrow and thus hampered movement. But that was the only way for the orchestra to see me, since I would be level with them on stage.
Problems arose, though. First, the two cellists complained that they could not see me. I was standing above them and their score was below them. There was no way either one could enter their eye at the same time. Similarly, the percussion remarked they were blocked by the rostrum, which was not allowed to be moved due to the complications in re-setting it once again. The guest-of-honour, Mr Jimmy Koh, would be using the rostrum immediately after we took our bow. The technical crew did not wish to keep Mr Koh waiting, so the podium stayed. I told the percussionists to shift their instruments more towards the right so that they were in full view. Then again, they were getting too close to one of the tables. There was no choice. I myself was standing too close to the guests, whose heads were just below me. I had to swing my arms a couple of times – with someone sitting below me – to ensure that I would not hit anybody during the performance. I had given no thought about scooping up a wig and hurling it into the hair – probably onto someone else’s head.
At that time, I hadn’t bought a proper conducting baton, so I improvised using balloon sticks instead. I bought a couple of them, in case one of them broke during the performance. These sticks were hollow, and through force they snapped.
Suddenly, the emcee told everybody in the room to rise. There were teachers from Chung Cheng High School – the Main and Branch schools – as well as lecturers and tutors from Nanyang Junior College, our affiliated school. Everybody presumed that the guests-of-honour had arrived. We were running late by half an hour, anyway, and the emcee kept pacifying everyone that they would be arriving soon. Well, they should have known this was no old wedding dinner. Anyway, I prepared the orchestra. I straightened my blazer, tensioned my body, ready to swing my ‘baton’ as soon as the guests walked in.
Luckily I didn’t. The emcee later said that the information was false – he bypassed it as a sort of rehearsal for everyone. I relaxed, and told the orchestra to loosen up.
But moments later, the emcee instructed everyone to rise again. We thought this was another joke, but it was really for real. I prepared the orchestra once more. My heart was beating very fast, probably a hundred counts per minute.
“Please welcome our guests-of-honour!” Without thinking, I raised by ‘baton’ and swung it down hard.
Snap! The stick broke into two pieces; one long, the other short. The longer piece fell onto the floor. The orchestra continued playing.
Mrs Cheng, who was sitting nearest to where the piece had fallen, retrieved it for me. I uttered my thanks and gave another swing at a strong point in the music.
Snap! Again, the stick broke into even smaller pieces. I was flabbergasted. I mouthed to Mrs Cheng to leave it alone. Then I threw down the remaining piece and continued conducting without any stick.
Up till now I still could not believe I was laughing that day. The guests were all laughing. The orchestra, as I was to learn later, didn’t dare to look at me for the fear of breaking into laughter as well and cause mayhem in the ballroom.
There was another blooper that no one really noticed; near the end of the second piece, I leaned much too forward, and nearly collapsed on top of the music stand. Effectively, I would have ended up on the floor.

I became the student conductor for another two years, until I left the school. I began to take the whole issue seriously, properly studying the scores before rehearsals.
But I was a mere Assistant Conductor. I only filled in for the conductor whenever he did not come for practices, or when he was unable to attend performances. What I considered absurd would be for me to conduct the orchestra for a few minutes before the conductor himself actually arrived. Break ended at 10:30am, and for the next half an hour I was supposed to take over the orchestra. Then the conductor would come and I would return to my seat. Yet it took ages to settle everyone down. No one realised the urgency to rush back and get seated so that practice could resume. The musicians returned with packets of fries and drinks, strode in through the doors, chit-chatted with their closest pals and took their time to sit down with their instruments. They were extremely uncooperative during tunings and practices. Mass tuning itself constituted almost half of my allocated time. By the time I started, I was left with only fifteen minutes or so, which was quite ridiculous. Fifteen minutes were sufficient to warm up the orchestra before the conductors’ arrival. I might as well not conduct at all.
The most fruitful period of conducting had to be that of the December holidays in 2001. It was supposed to be a one Saturday affair, but then I kept going back every week. During this time, I ran through lots of pieces with them. I affirmed my relationship with the orchestra. I was able to know more people, and at the same time, try to understand and fix problems within the orchestra. I was still bogged down by bad attitude and the lack of motivation, which contributed to inter-disciplinary problems for the musicians.
It was never a pleasant experience to shout at the musicians, or pick on any of them. I would go home after practices feeling very bad and downcast. Things do not go well, and I try not to make a big fuss out of it. But sometimes I really felt as if I had failed in taking charge of these musicians.
The last straw came after I wrote an email which was distributed to each and every Committee Member. I mentioned about my feelings towards the musicians – I had no hard feelings, neither did I accuse them of making my life miserable every time I tried to conduct. On the other hand, I sought for improvement. Something had to be done about these musicians and it was high time they woke up. I guessed we had slackened since the days of the Singapore Youth Festival competition. After writing that letter, I felt much better. In fact, I was looking forward to a much fruitful practice section with them.
And they did. I was very touched.

* * * * *

Reflections…
…of SPORTS MEETS

UNSUNG HEROES

At every sports meet, there will always be background people besides the athletes. Those people who help make the event a success, a breeze for the athletes, and those who come and motivate the athletes in bringing glory for themselves. This is a tribute to these people today and their feelings towards this year’s results during the Four-School Combined Sports Meet.

By August Lum and Justin Lam

The sun pours its scorching rays upon the earth – and upon the students seated on the rows of benches.
Here, either you love it or hate it; you have to endure it for the next couple of hours. What is supposed to be lovely, sunny weather, becomes a microwave menace. Most students simply despise being fried in the open. Take for example: Xu Li Chong.
Li Chong complains about the scorching sun. But he is not in the boat alone. Others share the same sentiments. Jasmine Ong claims, “We were not allowed to open our umbrellas. So we have no choice but to endure the heat.” Alicia Lim says, “It’s hot and sucky.”
Even the teacher agrees. Mrs Shahilla Raj chips in, “I feel the heat too, but my students cool me down.” She chuckles. “Sincerely, I think the school should provide caps for the Secondary Fours. But it’s okay as long as I have my umbrella.”
But for others, the heat is nothing, compared to the performance of the athletes on the track. Making our rounds, we spot Mr Chua Chor Loon squinting in the sun at the sandpit of the Long Jump, as he prepares to record results. He sees no signs of fatigue; the heat hasn’t drained his energy. In fact, he jokingly adds that he got lots of Vitamin D out there!

From the field, we can see the spectators’ grandstand clearly. The colours of each and every student’s shirt are striking. From left to right, Ngee Ann shows off its blue T-shirts. Chung Cheng floods its area in white; so does Dunman. Temasek is the multicoloured rainbow for the day, with its red, blue, yellow, green and purple T-shirts.
Cheers erupt from time to time, like choirs competing to outdo one another. Occasionally, the students rise to perform the Kallang Wave, a human wave that sweeps across one end of the stadium to another. There is not one conductor among them, but several. Our councillors do not wield the baton silently. Instead, they rally about like politicians from the sixties, when Singapore was fighting for independence, holding up gigantic placards bearing numbers of each respective cheer. And they make good progress without microphones or megaphones.
Ronny Tandanu is the man behind it all, or the Second-in-command, after Marc Lee, the head of the councillors. He spoke to us about his work with the students.
“It’s marvellous being here,” he replies with a radiant smile of pride on his face, as he watches his councillors actively clap the rhythm of one of the school’s favourite cheers, so-called the “Rock You” cheer, which was supposed to end with four piercing screams. “We should be proud of our school. Since we’re Secondary Fours, we are the leaders of the school. Cheerleading is really an amazing thing to do.”
Commenting on his councillor’s work: “I’m proud of my councillors, as well as the students. The atmosphere is good, even in the hot temperature. Hopefully, next year’s Sports Meet will be more spontaneous. Unfortunately, some students can’t be bothered. On the whole, the majority of them are enthusiastic about it.”
Madam Teo Sioe King, who is in charge of the Secondary Threes, thinks otherwise. “Bad. They are reluctant to cheer or wave. No co-operation, unity or enthusiasm.”
Interviewing Shaun Lim, one of the student spectators, we found his comment positive. “I’m proud of it [the Kallang Wave]. I feel so energetic. I cheered damn loud!”
There were others with negative comments. “It’s boring and stupid,” Sim Chon Ju said of the Kallang Wave. On the other hand, she cheered enthusiastically “until no sound.”
We leave the grandstand for the field. In the sheltered concrete path just beneath the grandstand, there is a hive of activity. Imagine the subway station, where people walk by each other, or simply sit down and watch time tick by. That is exactly the scene that is happening.
A buffet is in full swing at Gate One. Here the air is cool, and the teachers have congregated here for a well-deserved break, having been out in the desert-like field for an hour or so. They are having refreshments, and talking amongst themselves and comrades from other schools. There shows no sign of rivalry here.
Miss Tan Sek Jiau, one of the teachers-on-charge of athletics in the school, agrees to be interviewed. She is in charge of the javelin event today, and her job is to ensure that no one plays foul. She is especially proud of our school team, as they got a gold this year.
Mr Chua is also there. He’s still as energetic as ever; seems that the sun has not worn him out after all. He grins all the time as he relates the results for the long jump competition: “We came in first and second!”
Mr Marcus Kuek and Miss Ng Lee Hua, who have been manning the finishing line for the relay events, chip in, “Our competitors have tried their best, although the other schools are stronger.”
Mrs Lee Wan Lan does not have any idea what is going on. “I haven’t been watching the competition. Anyway, my duty is to look after the students.”

It is now mid-morning. Mr Sequeira stands under the glare of the hot sun, his shadow casting a black spot over the bright red track. He squints intently at the competition going on in the discus pit.
“It’s [This year’s performance] much more competitive than last year,” he says, referring to the standards of our worthy opponents. “We are strong in the field events such as these. But in the case of running, we are relatively weak.
“But we will improve the running standards of our athletes. At the same time, we will still maintain the high standard of performance in the field events,” he smiles with a twinkle in his eye.
Inside the pit itself is Justin Lam, a scout. The scouts this year are all from Chung Cheng High. Each year, every school participating in the meet send in one of team of helpers, be it Girl Guides or St John’s Ambulance Brigade. Justin is honoured to be helping out, adding, “It is interesting to see our athletes compete, to be the best among the best.” It’s tough being a helper, he continues, as they get little breaks. Helpers have to stand under the scorching sun for long. “But it isn’t tough if you have the interest,” he chuckles. In face, he gets a sense of satisfaction out of helping the athletes ease their troubles.
Another scout, Goh Weihan, was spotted sitting in the shade under the audience grandstand. He has been working for a long time, and is taking a well-deserved break right now. He is tired, and doesn’t pay much attention to the races. He’s waiting for the very moment when the whole sports meet would end.

The final event has everyone in the stadium jumping to their feet: watching their teachers outdo one another in the name of sports.
The idea was to carry table tennis balls on a spoon without dropping them. The teachers were supposed to get to their partners on the opposite side and hand the spoon with the ball over to the next teacher. The fastest team won. The Chung Cheng teachers came in first in this event.
They were jumping with joy when we approached them. They didn’t think it was very tough; in fact, it was very good. To them, it was a big sense of achievement.
So what was on their mind during the race?
“MUST WIN!”

So here the winners receive their prizes, much to the happiness of the crowd – our school winning medals and the students being able to leave the hot, scorching stadium. Everything will be back to normal by the next week, where the Sports Meet quickly becomes forgotten. Until next year, where the teachers will get together to plan for the next meet, and the students’ cheers will erupt the stadium once more.
Kudos to these unsung heroes.

The above article was written during my last Sports Meet. Mr Mustafa had been looking for student reporters to write about the Sports Meet, and I was glad that I had been picked to do the job. I got to relieve some boredom. I was sitting like a roast turkey in an oven. The stupidest things about stadium architecture is that the grandstands always face the east. They were obviously designed for evening use, when the sun would be behind. In the morning, the UV rays touched us directly. The National Stadium was not the only one…in fact; most other stadiums were designed the same way.
I had never enjoyed sports meets.

* * * * *

Reflections…
…of THE YELLOW UNDERWEAR INCIDENT

This would be an episode that I would never forget for the rest of my life.
It happened just before the Physical Education (PE) lesson. Most of the class had left for the basketball court, while a few others, including me and about three or four girls, were left. The victim – let’s call him X for the sake for anonymity – was with us – obviously.
So the rest of us were changing. Most of us wore our PE attire inside our uniforms, so all we had to do was to take off the exterior layer of clothing. X did the same. He took off his shirt like the rest of us, and then prepared to take off his pants.
The incident happened right here.
X took off his pants like everybody else. I was the first one to see everything. I was standing in front of him. I was the first one to raise the alarm.
“Goodness! X! What are you doing?”
Everybody turned their heads towards us.
It turned out that X had revealed his underwear. He’d probably presume he had worn his PE shorts inside, but in reality he hadn’t. He had revealed his yellow underwear.
The news spread like wildfire. By the end of PE, the entire class had learnt about it. By the next week, the other classes got wind of it.
Ironically, for mathematics, we were studying Pythagoras’ Theorem. One of the students likened the underwear to the right-angled triangle. Coincidentally, during Chinese, we were asked to write an essay entitled An Incident. As expected, most of the students wrote about that incident. Most unexpectedly, the victim was game enough to write about his embarrassing account.

* * *

Reflections…
…of BEING IN THE ACCOUNTS CLASS DOESN’T MEAN BEING THE WORSE OF THE LOT

I had failed Secondary Two Mathematics, partly due to my lacklustre attitude, and partly due to the incompetence of the new teachers who were assigned to my class. Although I did fare well for my final year exam, my grades for the entire year were never sufficient enough to give me a decent B3 to take Additional Mathematics.
So I was given the choice that I never chose during the streaming process. This was the last choice of the lot: combined Science, Accounting and Humanities. I didn’t know whether to be upset or happy about this. Openly, I felt it was a disgrace, since in Secondary Two, I was in the best class in the entire Express Stream for that level. Secretly, I was happy that I would not be taking Additional Mathematics and Science subjects. I preferred the Humanities. To tell the truth, actually it was my parents who wanted me to take Additional Mathematics, for they felt that Accounting could be learnt later. It would have been better for me to master the basics of Mathematics first.

There were three classes studying the same combination as I did. The classes were renamed “Benevolence, Courage, Diligence, Empathy” and so on and so forth by then Principal Mr Yang Che Kay because he wanted to eliminate the negative thoughts of students who were in one of the last few classes, and play down on the haughtiness of those in the top classes. Either way, there would be no differentiation to who was in the best class.
Nevertheless, as the months passed, it could be felt that we were the inferior lot, even though we were in Class Benevolence, situated at the top of the entire Secondary Three and Four level. It fuelled the students’ attitude that they were not capable of achieving results. So they slackened. After school they played LAN games, or went bowling. They got home late at night, never did their homework, and came back to school the next day awaiting punishment. The more this process played on, the more fed up the teachers got. Virtually every lesson preceding the other would be a scolding session. Praise was rare in the class. Even so, the class stuck firmly to its old attitude.
The class had always suspected that other teachers looked down on them, and their methods of action were taken seriously that they were trying to express their dislike for our class. We felt discriminated. There was an incident by which one member of our class was yanked up from his seat just because he forgot to bring his storybook for silent reading. The other students, who had not brought their books, had already stood in line in front of the whole assembly. One of the Chinese teachers thus caught this classmate of mine without a book. He refused to stand up initially and politely demanded to know why he had to and why students from other classes, particularly those from the Science classes, who had not brought their books didn’t.
This infuriated the teacher. She said angrily, “Will you stand up or not?”
He reiterated, “Why should I?”
The teacher became even angrier. This time, she violently yanked our classmates’ uniform in an effort to force him to stand. She pulled so hard that we were all afraid she would tear his uniform. Eventually he gave in. He said in a dissatisfied tone, “Fine, I’ll stand.” I could sense he was glaring at the teacher. But the teacher seemed to dissipate all those hard feelings directed towards her.
This incident sparked controversy over the Internet, within the confines of our class forum. Some voiced their anger towards the incident. Others vouched for an approach where action would be taken.
I brought my committee together, and we discussed what should be done about the class. Low morale until the rest of the year was not going to be helpful. The lack of motivation would have disastrous effects on our classmates, especially for the all-important examinations that would determine our future.
Simultaneously, the teachers tried their best to encourage us, and to offer praise. Unfortunately, old habits stuck.
Yet the turning point would soon arrive. Our class made it to the finals for the debate, and eventually championed the event. It was nice to see the students from the other accounting classes supporting us in the final battle for the cup.
The class was exuberant. Messages of congratulations poured through our class forum. Our class definitely felt better now. We had beat the other Science and Special Classes to emerge tops in the competition. The teachers offered their commended us for our efforts.
My committee hoped that this event would turn the students around. It did – but to a certain extent. Academically, we were scolded here and there for not handing in assignments. Yet I guessed everybody perked up as the Prelims came around the corner. For the first time, everyone cut down on games and went home straight after school. Of course, I had no idea what they did behind closed doors. Anyway, only a few people maintained their game-play at LAN shops island-wide.
Our class needn’t have fret though. We did score better in some subjects as compared to the other classes. Grades aside, some teachers even praised us for being more responsive than the other classes. Not to mention that we were rather enthusiastic and close to each other. I’m not trying to prove anything, but just to say that, even as an Accounting class, we did not have to feel inferior to the Sciences.

* * *

Reflections…
…of FORUM MESSAGES

Note: The following texts, or rather, messages have been left unedited; they are as they were on the Internet. This is for purposes of authencity…

Super Standard Gossip Post

The Rock
today wei han cried in the middle of the class.however,we are unable to find out the causes of his unusual behavior.a few witnesses had told the papers that Goh chong tang had brought a device that sings buddhist songs and playing around with adjusting it's volume to full blast and walking around like a cool dude.Moments after wei han broke out in tears he was surrounded by several deeply concerned girls both from 4bn and cr.we have interviewed one of wei han's good friend EDWIN LEE CHUN KIAT OF 4BN.he told the papers that wei han acted perfectly normal during recess but suddenly broke out in tears after returning to class is it becoz of that buddhust song?or other factors?we will bring you with the up dates as soon as possible.I am THE ROCk,and i wil see you as always in the standard gossip post,see you next week.

~Ch@*nSeY^
why why why ...did wei han cry?????????
Is it because of girls.......
or is it because of school work or overstress??????
It's a mysterious.....only wei han...the victim can solve it....can somebody please tell him to come here & have an interview...(reported by a passerby)

Composer-Conductor
Rock, you were the one who brought the device that sings Buddhist songs to the toilet and let everyone heard it.

BarK
yar yar yar...not nice to tok bout stuff like this lar.
i cried cos that buddhist song was playing 24/7 during my grandmother's funeral earlier this month. now drop it alright?

~Ch@*nSeY^
ooo.............the stupid buddhist song????
well well well...guess i missed it.........how was the song like?

The Rock
Hi it's the Rock here again! And this time he has another story in mind but not enough materials. Can anyone tell how Russell was dumped by Wen Ting? This is my next story. If any one can provide me with information, I would be very thankful. Thank you very much!

[H]eero [Y]uy
This place not nice to talk in…

The Rock
(names and time of event were changed to protect privacy) hello,more news from The Rock.About 2 years ago,a strange and short relationship broke out between two young,innocent,(that's only based on my theory,the practice is unknown except 4 the two main characters below.)teens.They were Russell (now in 4HM)and Cheng Wei Tang (now in 4BN).The People's Champion had interviewed one of Wei Tang's best friend(it was said that he is now WeiTang's boyfriend)Foh Fei Fan told the papers that Wei Tang was QUITE flirtatious during class and he had witnesssed that She managed to retrieve her handphone from Mr Quake using A lot of flirtatious glances and a lot of eeeeeeee's and oooooooo's.no wonder she was named playgirl of the year by the class!!!!anyway,The Rock had interviewed Russell.He was EXETREMELY angry when the great one asked her about WeiTIng.
'HER?--------------------cencored--------------------------'
who the ---------censored----------she think she is?----------------censored-----------'.the brahma bull had managed to interview another frind of her's Soan Joon 'She is a very guai girl and SELDOM talk in class even Mdm Tan Zee Zee had high praises for her.Mrs Faj said she is a very very good girl and ONLY uses handphone during recess and after school.'that is all for this week and the rock will see you always in the standard gossip post thank you very much!!!

BarK
yone tell how russell was dumped by wen ting?this is my next story.if any one can provide me with information,i woud b very thankful thank you very much!

[H]eero [Y]uy
this place not nice to talk in...

The Rock
(names and time of event were changed to protect privacy) hello,more news from The Rock.About 2 years ago,a strange and short relationship broke out between two young,innocent,(that's only based on my theory,the practice is unknown except 4 the two main characters below.)teens.They were Russell (now in 4HM)and Cheng Wei Tang (now in 4BN).The People's Champion had interviewed one of Wei Tang's best friend(it was said that he is now WeiTang's boyfriend)Foh Fei Fan told the papers that Wei Tang was QUITE flirtatious during class and he had witnesssed that She managed to retrieve her handphone from Mr Quake using A lot of flirtatious glances and a lot of eeeeeeee's and oooooooo's.no wonder she was named playgirl of the year by the class!!!!anyway,The Rock had interviewed Russell.He was EXETREMELY angry when the great one asked her about WeiTIng.
'HER?--------------------cencored--------------------------'
who the ---------censored----------she think she is?----------------censored-----------'.the brahma bull had managed to interview another frind of her's Soan Joon 'She is a very guai girl and SELDOM talk in class even Mdm Tan Zee Zee had high praises for her.Mrs Faj said she is a very very good girl and ONLY uses handphone during recess and after school.'that is all for this week and the rock will see you always in the standard gossip post thank you very much!!!

Xu Li`en a.k.a nEiLuX^15
here's your 2nd newscaster of the day, un-WAR. 'fternoon gentleman. the old practice is still used, yes. many many hours ago in the class of 4bn , a youth was caught reading a magazine of ------censored------, gotten it from a young lady, cheng wei tang, perhaps all of you remember her name during my counterpart's interview. the youth, only identified as "the nuisance" drooled as he scanned the magazine and asked many others of the same race over to have a quick glance at it, many of whom die of overdose of hormonal anxiety and it was too intense, that the heat was felt over a hundred inches away. just a couple of hours after the incident, another teenager, by the name of fAtWiN, got a health magazine from the air-conditioned library and proudly shares it with other monkeys from his pack. fortunately, no signs of injury or fatalities were found, but it was reported that one of the monkeys, fanny fua, was caught sleeping with the magazine on his -----censored----- by an well-grown matured adult, without laces on her shoe, and was set free after 20 seconds of interrogation.
As we can see from these incidents, i can conclude, that there are a million times more news than these s*it, and more newscasters are required, other than the rock, and the degenerated, un-WAR, also known as the angry blonde, eMiN3m.
Thank You and have a 'severed-head' day (from august).

The Rock
yes!The rock agrees pls feel free to do any reports here and share it with others if it is not too erotic or offensive to anyone the report should not be less than 350 words and more than 1000 words.The rock hereby have another article to with the MILLIONS AND THE MILLIONS OF ROCk's FANS!!!on the 30th jan 2001,three people arrived at Parkway burger king.They were the people's champion and Foh Fei Fan.In the middle of their meal,in walked 2 gorgeous lady wearing white shirts and blue skirts.Fei Fan says that they were fr. Geylang medodist but obviously,the rock knows that they were fr. Broadrick.Fei FAn had even(coz they were seated near the window facing the main road and there is a slope there that can easily see through dresses,)Fei FAn had suggested that we walk down the slope to see it.But just a second mister,who do u think The Rock is!!!He has maximum resistance against qiu bu not coz he's gay but becoz he's a jun zi!!!!obviously,the pple's champ refused but Fei Fan had pulled the Brahma Bull along!normally,Fei Fan could never ever do that coz The Rock is too powerful for him to overcome.However in this case,he somehow managed to do it(remember the motivation course where it says that blah blah blah? i think it works on him this time.)and when we reached the slope,The great one immediately lowered his head but Fei FAn had looked n later told me that it was pink in color.For this matter,i had interviewed one of his friend Fatwin Fee Fun Fiat of 4Bn.he told the papers that Fei FAn often tocks bout erotic stuffs.HOW DISGUSTING!!!!!!!
thank you for joining me I m The rock and i will always see you on Standard Gossip post.see you next time

BarK

"Full of nonsense", says ex-dictator Goh Weihan

4BN, CCHSm-- Slanderous newscaster, commonly known as the Rock, has been accused of being "full of nonsense" and "totally calumnious" by the ex-dictator of class 4bn today during a midnight computer usage session.
According to Weihan, the Rock has been spreading many rumours and altering many of the news articles he has posted to make himself look good. "It is totally unacceptable", says Weihan, "that this man here should, without any signs of shame nor dishonour, alter facts and show to the public about many sensitive issues that may cause sorrow in the victims of his mostly untrue news articles."
The Rock denied charges and, when threatened with a fist, did not show the least sign of fear. "What i have said is entirely true, to the extent of my knowledge. Whether you believe it or not, is entirely up to you." An unhappy reader told Benevolent Times that he was extremely displeased at the way the Rock was spouting rubbish and writing out untruths in the papers. "I am most disappointed with this sort of behaviour. This show of dishonest behaviour by the Rock has left me with nothing but his distaste. These articles are not nice to read."
Trials are still taking place, but it is to our belief and our honest opinion that the Rock is mostly in the wrong, and that he should, at least, make up for it by compensating the victims that has been involved in his obloquy.
© Copyright 2001 Benevolent, Inc., All rights reserved.

[H]eero [Y]uy
nuts!

CHENG WEN TING
pls larz....THE rOCK..sTOP THE TOOPID RUMOURS OF ME CAN..IF U HATE ME TAT MUCH..CUM TELL ME K....U DUN UNDERSTAND HOW IT FEELS BEING SAID BY PPL LIKE U....U ARE JUZ TOKING CRAPZ....u noe wat's dump anot? DUMP IS WHEN 2 PERSON WENT STEAD AND ONE PLAYED WIF HIS FEELINGS...AND JUZ BROKE UP WIF HIM..AND TT PERSON HU PLAYED WIF HIS FEELINS..DOESN'T LIEK HIM AT ALL...TT A DUMP OK!!!!!!
I NV DUMP HIM..CAN'T I JUZ CHOOSE NOT TO LIKE ANYONE..??? SO DO U MEAN IF I LIKE THIS GUY...I HAV TO NO MATTER WAT END UP WIF HIM IZZIT....WAD THE HELL ARE U TRYING TO SPREAD ABT ME?HATE ME CUM TELL ME LAR

[H]eero [Y]uy
anyone in the right mind would say that adrian is in the wrong...so shut up for once and if you are really in a right mind... apologise... afterall... one friend is better than an enemy...
and if anyone scolds adrian for gossiping... he deserves it...

The Rock
Undefined

Xu Li`en a.k.a nEiLuX^15
This is a public services announcement brought to you by nin neh lan gor jiam: Yesterday 4 teens were spotted at Long John Silvers' Parkway branch, whereby one of the, an odd-job labourer, Foh Fei Fan, was accepting bribes from his pals to approach, allegedly a teacher in TKGS, and another innocent girl from TKSS, xue*ing (names are either withheld or marked with asterisk for the victims' safety) It is known that, xue*ing is a sec3 girl and do goes to irc, and left 3 guys, Barf, Fatwin, and Slim waiting for her in a chatroom every day and night. Let's hope they can get their wishes come true. Have a nice day and happy holidays!

The Rock
This is supposed to be a news forum. U can post yor view bout the articles but not other gossip things.

The Rock
WEIHAN!!!!!!!I thoght this is supposed to be confidential!!i guess the rules have changed and i think i also can let other people read the J.C.B. log book gimme a hell yeah if all of ya agree(this book contains alot of secret which i cannot name here

~Ch@*nSeY^
I want to read!!!!!

Xu Li`en a.k.a nEiLuX^15
but not other gossip things.

The Rock
WEIHAN!!!!!!!I thoght this is supposed to be confidential!!i guess the rules have changed and i think i also can let other people read the J.C.B. log book gimme a hell yeah if all of ya agree(this book contains alot of secret which i cannot name here

~Ch@*nSeY^
I want to read!!!!!

Xu Li`en a.k.a nEiLuX^15
Latest News: Due to the benevolenism revolution yesterday, our ex-dictator has fallen and dumped to the post of a consort to the new emperor, nEiLuX. A poll showed that nEiLuX gained 600% more votes while weihan lost 75% of his supporters, and our friend, pok, was grabbed 133 acres, please send aid to him as soon as possible, to all of you, in class or in virtual world, thank you.

Valentin~!
I am THE GAMEEEEE!!!!!!
hi, weihan is a good man. Adrian is a handsome boy

Valentin~!
more news from the game,i m the game and i lov swee huah from 3BN'00.i also lov yau pong and cheng wei tang

The Rock
Wow! Another story for me!!

The Rock
to all of you, in class or in virtual world, thank you.

Valentin~!
I am THE GAMEEEEE!!!!!!
hi, weihan is a good man.
Adrian is a handsome boy

Valentin~!
more news from the game,i m the game and i lov swee huah from 3BN'00.i also lov yau pong and cheng wei tang

The Rock
wow!another story for me!!

The Rock
Hello!!more news from the rock!!On the 16th of feb 2001,during the assembly,Foh Fei Fan of 4Bn brought a small wood pecker toy costing $1 in burger king to school and started playing around with it.He irritated a lot of pple by pecking them on the head.FINALLY, miss ng had confiscated 'woody'(a name weihan called the toy)and told him that she is going to sell it back to Fei Fan for Lots of profit.They r still negociating on the price.We will bring u all the updates as soon as possible thank you very much!

Xu Li`En a.k.a nEiLuX^15
bad news: the emperor or tsar u may call...lost 40% of his lands...it is expected to be 8th in the kingdom until tuesday when all exploring is done

The Rock
Poor emperor

Benevolent Rapist
ood pecker toy costing $1 in burger king to school and started playing around with it.He irritated a lot of pple by pecking them on the head.FINALLY, miss ng had confiscated 'woody'(a name weihan called the toy)and told him that she is going to sell it back to Fei Fan for Lots of profit.They r still negociating on the price.We will bring u all the updates as soon as possible thank you very much!

Benevolent Rapist
(names of characters and places of events were changed to protect privacy)hullo,everybody,it's the Benevolent rapist Times here.A few days ago,Fatwin Fee Fhun Fiat of 4Bn was spotted with a mysterious girl in Tampines Ball on the ^th of feb 2001.This is noly wat we received.we will bring to u the details in a few days time.Stick to us to know more!!!Thank you very much for joining us.I m The Rock and i will see u always here in the gossip post,thank you

Benevolent Rapist
Also,the A.F.M.P. clan are planning to sell their log book for $10 per copyI m sure it's worth your money coz u wil know a lot of secret inside the A.F.M.P. clan.although the clan was publisised recently,and our actions had attracted a lot of pple's attention especially Kei Pos like censored, Kenny Phua. But there r still a lot of confidential stuff not known

Bark
Teacher unusually kind; students suspicious
CCHS(m), Singapore- Students are suspicious of an unusually kind teacher on the 19th of March, the first day of school after a week long holiday.
The teacher, when normal, was considered by students as "okay" though "prone to sudden bursts of anger", had actually allowed a class of her students to go to the canteen for 15 minutes to have their breakfast. At first, the students were very alert, heightening their senses for any signs of danger or traps.
"It's very unnerving", says one of the pupils, a dark-skinned chinese who declined to be named. "It's almost like we're walking on the five foot way to hell. I'm very suspicious of this sudden niceness. Please, don't let anything happen to me, god!"
After saying so, he went onto his knees and a chain of prayers.
5 minutes after going to the canteen, most of the students felt much more at ease. Many went ahead, bought breakfast, and happily tucked into the food while others just stood around sipping their drinks through straws. There were a few exceptions though, and one of them was a boy named Nernard Bng, who tried his best to discourage his friends from "the whirlpool of the devil" by trying his best to whisper in their ears that it was "nothing but a trap". When fellow class-mates still refused to listen, he hopped up and down in a rage, just like a sparrow, shouting, "Go ahead into the icy hands of death! I tried my best to help you!". Following that, he burst into tears.
"Just look at them," said Nernard, when interviewed, "Being so unaware of the trap that's displayed right before their eyes! Eating and drinking like a bunch of helpless rabbits! To think that they can be tricked by such an obvious show of cunningness and deceit!"
After spending 20 minutes at the canteen, the teacher brought the students back to class and resumed teaching as if nothing ever happened. The class, feeling full and contented and very happy, were not in a very good mood for studying. Nernard was sitting in a pool of sweat, still suspicious.
Reports show that there was absolutely no evil plans in the teacher's mind and she did it out of goodwill.
Investigations are still under way.

Plans for 4BN invasion

The Rock
Have you all realised that our class forum is getting more n more crowded?i had a plan.we will first invade the 4Cr forum page coz i think their last update was days ago and then we can look around and see what class we r going to invade next!!IF YA SMELLLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING!!!

[H]eero [Y]uy
got nothing to do is it?

Xu Li`en a.k.a nEiLuX^15
YAH LAH!!!!!
u want to invade? invade our class 1st...
The Rock , you take the point!
Benny , Storm The Front!
August, Cover me!
Zhu Mei, r*** the hostages!
Weihan, Fall Back!
Wan Ping, Go Hell!
FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Rock
COUNTER-TERRORISTS WIN ALREADY~!!!!!

~Ch@*nSeY^
what is Zhu Mei r*** the hostages?????
is it rape???
i won't do such a thing ok

Bark
why me fall back?? wo shi yong gan xie hui de hui yuan!! So i cannot fall back!! i'm supposed to CHEONG ARRR

i don't run around in this place trying to invade other people's forum... i am the spectator... you know? so i will watch and help you ghost... ok? weihan i swap with you... you storm the front i fall back...

Composer-Conductor
Will this be the 4BN revolution of 2001? Then what? Our principles will be called "4 Benevolenism".

~Ch@*nSeY^
4 Benevolenism...August..u read tooo much history is it??until you go start thinking about revolution.....Can I fall back instead..i am a girl you know..

The Rock
BOMB HAS BEEN PLANTED!!!!TEAM!!!FALL BACK!!FALL BACK!!!ARGHHHHHHH!!!

[H]eero [Y]uy
never say the bomb gonna blow... good thing i am the spectator... can see the bomb blow up... fun!

Composer-Conductor
Wait until 20 Feb then plant the bomb. More fun when the police and paramedics and firefighters arrive to see a bomb going off and real chaos happening.

Bark
You guys are so morbid. Actually, i think only august is. He's showing his true self. Violent.

The Rock
have you all heard of such a thing called 'nuke'?nuking people's sites are fun and if zhumei happens to advertise on the site one more time,then without a shadow of a doubt,it is chon ju in disguise of zhu mei and i will nuke the website!

~Ch@*nSeY^
hello...i am really the real zhu mei...& i am not chon ju & i am publicising chon ju's website because i like it
CAN?

Valentin~!
hey zhumei y u letting tht chouju use ur postkid account to do adZ

The Rock
i express my compliments here.

‡†GMSexay†‡™
SPAMMIN' is a serious crim u noe,...

~Ch@*nSeY^
i am the REAL ZHUMEI

Serious Messages for the Class

Composer-Conductor
Please don't write nonsense inside, or gossip. This is not a chat site.
Only put those important information or timetables inside here. Remember, this is OFFICIAL business!

The Rock
ok fine,the rock says that all of you MUST go to mounbatten cc this sunday on the 14th jan 2001.report at 8 PM hahahaha

BarK
august hey that aint fun
stop abusing ur autority (right.)
goodbye my friend u messed up again
your going to prison ur off to the pen

~Ch@*nSeY^
Ok.....today Mrs Raj scolded the whole class....
So from now on....we should not abuse the so call "usuage of August"
As august is the chaiaman...so we must listen to him instead of him listening to us & obey us
s this understandable???

madcow
yup....my sentiments exactly...

~Ch@*nSeY^
what setimentS?

The Rock
in the first place,what is sentiments?

~Ch@*nSeY^
look up the dictionary yourself

BarK
come on, we dont have to listen to him if he comes here once every 9 months

The Rock
4732836-3785419-257987894679229-678971957367-672-671-3967-396779672967-296728-67028967089760976389671-671-878-3497689-3475614976-81-36737602572,if anyone can decode this thing,he can be a top spy in our class and win a PRIZE from THE ROCK.i m serious and this is not some crap that i any o how write

BarK
still, im not going to bother

The Rock
then get the hell outta here,jabroni

‡†GMSexay†‡™
YOU GUYS ARE MAKING THIS FRIGGIN PLACE LAGGIN' BY THE DAY BY POSTING NONSENSE IN THIS FORUM MAN!~!~!

The Rock
u are notin this class get otta here before i layeth the smackadown on your roody poo candy -censored-

BarK
rock is pretty darn crazy

The Rock
but not crazy enough to say vulgars here that is good enough

[H]eero [Y]uy
he is only by a few mm away from all the censored words...

The Rock
i m not on the spot right?

* * *

Reflections…
…of THE DAY THE RESULTS CAME BACK

It had been a weird habit of mine to wake up once every hour early in the morning to check on the time. This was to ensure that I would not be late the next morning. It was therefore not surprising that this old habit recurred on the day of the release of the O-level results.
But there was this gall in the midst of my throat that bothered me throughout. I realised the corners of my eyes were heavy as well.
At 5:30am, I felt I could sleep no longer, and woke up. I sat at my desk to prepare my Economics homework, of which I had not touched since. I tried to hide my anxiousness – I attempted to make everything seem as normal as possible.
At 6:00am, my mother woke up. She strode over to my desk and asked me how I was feeling.
“Anxious and very scared,” I told her.
“It’s all over. You’ve done what you ought to have done. Don’t think too much about it.”
She was right. Why should I worry now? If I had to worry, I should have had done it ages ago, before I even took the O-levels. I regretted that I had slackened much after the Prelims. I always had the impression that the Os, as the exam was called, would be much easier than any other old Prelim. I was proved wrong during the examination itself; some questions were not those I had expected.
Anyway, the results had arrived back in Singapore. There they were, waiting for us to collect them. Innocent sheets of paper – came from any old tree, but the print on it reflected our future. This sheet of paper would be the key to the next level of the game.
In months, this was the first time that my father had decided to send me to school. Earlier I figured out that he saw me still messing around with the papers on my desk, even though the time I was supposed to leave the house had since gone by. He probably wanted to drive me to college so that I would not be late. Later, I deduced that he would want to have been a source of comfort to me before I went to get back my results. He told me not to worry too much, as our car drew up before the gates of the institution.
My kakis were still sitting at the usual table. Nobody had much to say…some hurried through their homework, while others just did nothing but let time pass. At 7:35am, we went for flag-raising as usual. The scene was beginning to get tenser. It was as if a terrorist attack had just occurred and people were in a state of shock. Of course, I wouldn’t exaggerate it too much. But for once since the first day of school, people were beginning to look lost. Most of them wore a frown on their faces, like me. Some were going around, asking how others felt. Others were contemplating whether to skip lessons or not.
The mood was quite bleak during the classes. At the end of every lesson, our lecturers and tutors kept wishing us good luck. By the last lecture, students went around doing the same thing to their close friends and acquaintances. The only thing I could do was to mumble a soft “Thank you.” I wondered what was the point in saying good luck. Such words could not even change the results on our slips. We could only absorb these words to make us feel better, but nothing more can be done after that.
I arrived in Chung Cheng at around noon. On the bus, people had wished me the best of luck; I had repaid their blessings. As soon as I stepped off the bus, I wondered what their expressions would be tomorrow. Would they change for the better or for the worse?
Again, an air of anxiousness filtered through the canteen as the old students congregated. There were rumours of a list of our results being circulated around, and people went hysterical just to look for that list and minimise their unease. Large crowds of students gathered like bunches of roses tied in a bouquet - all desperate people. Suddenly, one of the girls let out a shriek – why the hell would I bother to find out the reason behind that? Besides that, there were people who gasped their way through an entire minute, the frowns on their foreheads turning more severe with each passing second. Probably they did not believe in the aggregate printed on the score sheet.
The situation having gotten out of hand, the teacher promptly retrieved her list and refused to let anymore students study it further. Who really bothered anyway? We had to face reality; besides, in another hour or so we would realise the truth.

By 2pm, we had been seated inside the Grand Auditorium. This year’s Sec 4s were also present; Mr Yue had asked them to witness this event. The graduates were asked to sit on the floor, in front of the tables where our respective form teachers would sit.
It was hard to describe the appropriate mood at that very time. There were folks who were happy; anxious; both happy and anxious; extremely terrified, et cetera. No one knew exactly what the other was feeling. He or she could be hiding his or her thoughts; a happy mask could be a cover for a worrier. A tightly screwed face would be an alibi for intense excitement – a sort of volcano that would erupt at the right moment.
Mr Yue had gone for an important meeting at the last moment with a minister, so the Vice-Principal, Mr Toh, took charge of the ceremony. He first gave a presentation about the Joint Admission Exercise (JAE), but it seemed that nobody really bothered to listen. We had our eyes transfixed on the screen, yet it does note reveal whether we are in reality or have traversed into another dimension. Who cares, anyway?
Finally, Mr Toh proceeded to announce the names of those who had scored a certain number of As. These people were entitled to have themselves photographed by the news team from Lianhe Zaobao. I have no idea whether they will be featured since the last time I was interviewed; we were cheated by the newspaper office for not having that article printed.
The respective form teachers of each of the classes position themselves at the desks specially laid out for this occasion. Each class was appointed with a few forms, the O-levels certificate and the Yearbooks – including two student councillors on hand. One by one each individual was called. As each individual went up, there was the potentially lethal mix of fright, anxiety, excitement and God knows what other emotions. Many broke into tears – was it out of sadness or joy? Mysteriously, others shed tears even before their names were called, and had to depend on another’s shoulder as a tissue. Stunned looks enveloped these people – nobody even knew how much they scored to determine whether they were crying for happiness or upset.
There was a sense of disbelief within me when my name was pronounced. I went up, shaken, expecting something worse. My teacher was somewhat grinning; I really had no idea if that was a disguise – a mask. To prove it, I scanned the L1R5 – I had done better than I had expected. Now there was a reason for both of us to smile or grin.
The first people I dialled were my parents. They congratulated me on my fine results, yet questioned if I were able to make it into my choice college or not. I assured them I would, since my final score (having minimised the bonus points) would still entitle me a place within the school’s entry aggregate.

2004-05-22T08:33:00.000-07:00

Our platoon decided to include a rap in the performance intended for OC Night, so here it is. The verses are written by Jerome while the chorus is jointly written by Ashik and me in accordance to the tune of "Where is the Love"

***

PLATOON THREE RAP

Jaguar Three the one the mean
(I say) Number one in BMT
But who are those behind the scene
Francis, Mervyn, Raihan and Dennis

Francis the PS the two conscience man
Marching his drills can die cock stand
But then admin time if we are lucky
We’d get some time off “Hentak Kaki!”

Mervyn the soldier loves discipline
He’s rough, he’s tough, he’ll make us huff
So hear our song if you know what I mean
Cuz we’ll be lean if he is mean

(Sung to the tune of “Where is the Love”)
Platoon Three we set the pace
Platoon Three first in the race
Come on come on join the craze
Shake it up here in this place
Jaguar, Jaguar in our hearts
We will always do our part
In our hearts and in our minds
Where is the Law?
Sir Law, Sir Law
Where is the Law, Sir Law, Sir Law?
Sir Law, Sir Law
Where is the Law, Sir Law, Sir Law?

Raihan the Malay, the Bollywood star
You’ll know it’s him right from afar
Beware of when you leopard crawl
He’ll make it real shit, sand and water and all

Dennis the sergeant of section one
He can be fun in the sun but he’s never done
Rough him up the wrong side and way
Trust me OC, Recruits, it doesn’t pay

Platoon Three we set the pace
Platoon Three first in the race
Come on come on join the craze
Shake it up here in this place
Jaguar, Jaguar in our hearts
We will always do our part
In our hearts and in our minds
Where is the Law?
Sir Law, Sir Law
Where is the Law, Sir Law, Sir Law?
Sir Law, Sir Law
Where is the Law, Sir Law, Sir Law?

Law our PC, he is the Law
A friend, a leader CHOP CHOP he has it all
He’ll be there when we need him most
He is something that all of us can boast

So here we are Jaguar platoon three
Every day, every night, we down twenty
But what can kill us make us stronger
And we can’t keep singing any longer:

We are…

JAGUAR!
Platoon Three we set the pace
Platoon Three first in the race
Come on come on join the craze
Shake it up here in this place
Jaguar, Jaguar in our hearts
We will always do our part
In our hearts and in our minds
Where is Jaguar?
Jaguar, Jaguar
Where is Jaguar Platoon Three?
Jaguar, Jaguar
We are the best in BMT

2004-03-19T02:48:00.000-08:00

Some knock-knock jokes which I've created, inspired by those on http://www.ahajokes.com/

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Singapore!
Singapore who?
Singapore of sixpence!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Russia!
Russia who?
Russia as soon as you can!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Handel!
Handel who?
Handel the glass with care!

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Bach!
Bach who?
Bach off!

2003-06-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

I've posted two drama scripts, both of which were written in 2000 for the Inter-class drama competition.

Originally I wrote "The Millennium Plot", a modern adaptation of "Die Fledermaus", about how misunderstandings and misintepretaions caused a lot of trouble... and a lot of humour.

But my teacher commented that it lacks the "flesh", and suggested something about the Japanese Occupation. So out came "Our People Have Returned", which sounds like some tragedy shit but became an instant comedy thanks to Chong Tang, who acted the retarded person role really terrifically.

2003-06-12T08:40:00.000-07:00

DRAMA... urm... COMEDIC PLAYSCRIPT (if you saw Chong Tang act as the retarded guy...)

OUR PEOPLE HAVE RETURNED!

CHARACTERS
Chong Tang, a retarded young man
Jasmine, his sister
Papa
Mama
Lord Louis Mountabatten
Tomoyuki Yamashita (Lieutenant-General)
S Itagaki (Lieutenant-General)
Narrator (backstage)

Extras:
Japanese Troops (about 7)
British troops (about 8)
Australian troops (about 6)
Malay officers (about 5)
Gurkhas (about 4)
Chinese (to be massacred) (about 4)
Tortured prisoners (about 4)
People at the Victory Parade (about 15)
Assistant

Total: 55

• Some members of the cast can be “recycled”. For example, the people at the victory parade can be those acting as British troops, Australian troops, Malay officers and Gurkhas. Chinese (to be massacred) can re-act as Tortured Prisoners.

PROPS

ACT I
Toy machine guns and rifles with bayonets (total no: 7)

ACT II
Ropes
Hose

ACT III
2 Long tables
Crutches
Radio
15 chairs
Leather file with documents inside.

ACT IV
Hats
Flags

ACT V
4 bowls
1 plate
4 pairs of chopsticks
4 glasses

MUSIC

Band music
Eerie music (with a lot of suspense!)
Forbidden Love (Theme of “Love 2000)

SYNOPSIS

Act I A brief narration of the bombing of Pearl Harbour and invasion of Southeast Asia. Japanese troops prove that they are stronger although smaller in number when they defeat the weak Allies.

Act II Various ways the Japanese military tortured those suspected of being anti-Japanese. The Japanese would kick and slap them in order to get information out of them. Or they would stick a hose into their victims’ mouths and turn on the water until their stomachs bloated. Many innocent people were taken away to work on the “Death Railway”.

Act III Introduction to Chong Tang a retarded and crippled young man and his sister, Jasmine, whose parents have been taken away by the Japanese. It’s been almost three-and-a-half years since the Occupation began. One day, Jasmine hears of good news over the radio that the Japanese have surrendered after two atomic bombs were dropped in Japan. A month later, the Surrender Document is signed in Singapore.

Act IV The victory parade outside the City Hall. Jasmine and Chong Tang go to the Padang to watch the simple but unforgettable and joyous occasion.

Act V Chong Tang and Jasmine’s parents finally return four months after the surrender of the Japanese to the British in Singapore. It is a happy reunion dinner that closes the unhappy chapter.

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ACT I: THE JAPANESE INVASION

Narrator (from backstage)
7 December 1941. Japanese planes swooped down on the American Pacific Fleet at Pearl Harbour, Hawaii, USA, completely destroying it. Occuring almost simultaneously was the invasion of Malaya and Thailand. The Japanese made landings at Singora and Patani in Thailand, where they forced the country to sign a peace treaty with them. There were also landings at Kota Bahru, on the east coast of Malaya.

• Eerie music comes on, volume loud, then softer as Narrator continues.

The Japanese, although smaller in number than the Allies, were strong in morale and tactics.Their well-planned moves and excellent tactics and coordination shamed the British and their allies, who were unprepared, lacked morale, military equipment and defence. In other words, the Allies were weak, since the British were busy defending their homeland back in Europe against the Germans.
(Japanese Troops enter stage left with machine guns and rifles. British troops, Australian troops, Malay officers and Gurkhas enter stage right with their weapons as well. Japanese troops yell “Hai!” and rush at the Allies, weapons pointing forward. The Allies drop everything and run for their lives, exiting stage right, shouting for mercy. Japanese freeze in their positions – guns pointing forward, as if ready to attack any enemy.)
The Japanese defeated the Allies. In two months, they arrived in Johor Bahru, ready to cross to Singapore. The British destroyed the Causeway, but to no avail. The Japanese used rafts to float their men and tanks across. There was fierce fighting in Singapore, until Lieutenant-General A E Percival decided to surrender.
(Japanese troops position change to that of attention. Their rifles and machine guns are placed vertically, gunpoint facing upwards. They face the audience.)

(Percival enters stage right. At the same moment, Yamashita enters stage left. Both meet at centrestage.)
• Eerie music stops.

Percival (in a solemn voice, without hesitation)
We, the British, declare surrender unconditionally.

Yamashita
So Singapore will be ours?

Percival
Yes. We surrender. We do not wish to fight anymore. Our men are tired and many are dead.
(With that, Percival turns 180 degrees and exits stage right.)

(Yamashita turns left 45 degrees to face the Japanese troops.)

Yamashita
Gentlemen, the British have surrendered unconditionally to us. They have given us Singapore. In other words, we have conquered Singapore.

Japanese troops (Chant together, loudly and jubilantly. At the same time, they raise their weapons into the air.)
Long Live Japan! Long Lives the Emperor! (repeat 5 times)

Narrator (in a deep voice)
After the Japanese conquer, Singapore was renamed “Syonan-to”, or “Light of the South”. From then on, it was three-and-a-half-years of strict military rule and sheer terror.

(Japanese troops and Yamashita exti stage right.)

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ACT II: A RULE OF TERROR

Narrator
The Japanese were ruthless people. Many people – be it Chinese, Malay, Indian or European – were not spared from death or torture. Chinese suspected of being anti-Japanese were massacred at Changi Beach.

(Four Chinese, blindfolded, hands tied to each other, enter stage right, struggling. Two soldiers from Japanese troop follow behind them, pointing their rifles and bayonets at them as they lead them to centre stage. The soldiers keep yelling at them to move quickly. Finally, the Chinese are made to stand at centre stage, blindfolded face facing away from the audience. One of the Japanese soldiers stands a distance away from the Chinese, nearer to the audience. The other Japanese soldier remains at stage right. The first Japanese soldier raises his rifle. Crack ! Crack! Crack! Cracks! He shoots all four Chinese. The first man to the extreme left falls, pulling the others down. They lie on their stomachs. When the first Japanese soldier is done, he and his partner stab (not really stab – just poke each Chinese softly with the bayonets to make it look realistic) each of the Chinese. When they are done, the first soldier beckons to the second that the job is done and it is time to go. They leave, exiting stage right, without looking back.)

Then there was the Kempeitai, or the secret military police. Their agents inflitrated every walk of life, and could capture and torture or kill people suspected of being anti-Japanese.

(Three Japanese soldiers enter stage right. The first Japanese soldier walks to centre stage and squats down beside the extreme left Chinese, and turns his body so that his face faces upwards. The other Japanese soldiers stay at stage right.)

First Japanese soldier (slaps First Chinese’ face softly)
Ooi! Wake up!

First Chinese (groans and looks at first Japanese soldier. Suddenly, he sits upright and surveys his surroundings alarmingly.)
Where am I? Where am I?

• Eerie music begins.

First Japanese soldier
You’re at the Police Station. We want some information. Just tell us, and we’ll let you go.

First Chinese (eagerly)
Really?

First Japanese soldier
Why should I lie to you?
(Draws closer to First Chinese and says kindly.)
Now, tell me, are you working for the British?

First Chinese (appears puzzled.)
No. Why?

First Japanese soldier
Because we suspect that you are anti-Japanese, and that you have connections with the Allies.

First Chinese
Why, no.

First Japanese soldier (starts to get angry)
Don’t lie.

First Chinese (indignantly; now begins to feel very frightened.)
It’s true! I’m not siding with the British!

First Japanese soldier (very angry!)
Damn you! (gives a hard slap across First Chinese’ face) You still dare to lie to me? Go to hell! (gives another hard slap across the Chinese’s face.)

(First Chinese grabs his sore cheeks, and begins to sob with pain. First Japanese soldier gets up, glares at First Chinese and stands at stage right.)

(Second Japanese Soldier walks towards centre stage, and stands in front of Second Chinese, pointing a finger at him.)

Second Japanese soldier (shouting and pointing a finger at him)
You lied to me! You are anti-Japanese!

Second Chinese (weakly, groans)
No, I didn’t! (Coughs and gasps) I’m…I’m not anti-Japanese!

Second Japanese Soldier (shouts)
LIAR!
(Immediately, he calls Third Japanese Soldier to pass him one end of a hose. He stucks the end of the hose into the man’s mouth, and calls his partner to turn on the water tap. Immediately, Second Chinese begins struggling and hitting the stage floor hard with his hands. Second Japanese Soldier laughs. After a while, he calls Third Japanese soldier to turn off the tap, and he pulls out the hose from Second Chinese’s mouth.)

Third Japanese Soldier (asks loudly)
What do we do with the other two?

Second Japanese soldier (after condsidering)
We’ll take them to Thailand to build the railway. In fact, we should take all of them!

(The Chinese prisoners groan and scream “Noooo…”. But Japanese soldiers all pull them to their feet and lead them away, exiting stage right.
• Eerie music ends.

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ACT III: THE SURRENDER OF THE JAPANESE
Setting the stage:
There are two long tables placed vertically, lengths facing each other as shown. There is a radio on one of the tables. There are NO chairs yet.

Stage

Long tables

Audience

Narrator
Many households were affected emotionally and physically during the war. The family mentioned here was also not spared. The family’s only son, Chong Tang, was born retarded. His sufferings were made worse when a bomb dropped from a Japanese plane exploded near him and sent shrapnel flying into his leg. His leg lost so much blood at such a fast rate that doctors had no choice but to amputate it. And so, for the next three years, he went around hobbling on simple wooden crutches, since his family was too poor to afford a wheelchair or even proper crutches. All these years, he has been cared for lovingly by his sister, Jasmine.

(Chong Tang enters stage left, hobbling. When he reaches centre stage, Jasmine enters stage left and runs towards Chong Tang.)

• How Chong Tang can stand to show that he seems to be hobbling:-

crutches

lower part of leg is raised
as shown so that it appears that
he has lost his leg.

Jasmine (calls)
Chong Tang! Where are you going?
(Chong Tang makes some intelligible sounds.)
What did you say?
(Chong Tang makes more sounds, but this time he tries to emphasise the word “Papa” and “Mama”.)
Oh, you mean Papa and Mama.
(Sighs)
Today’s the 17th of August, 1945. It’s been almost three years since the Japanese occupied Singapore.
(Chong Tang makes some sounds to show that he agrees.)
I wonder when the war will end. I wonder when Papa and Mama will return.
(Chong Tang nods his head.)
I really miss Papa and Mama. I hope they return soon.
(Turns to face Chong Tang.)
How’d about you?
(Chong Tang nods his head again.)

(Suddenly, the radio crackles to live.)

Jasmine
Listen!
(Moves close to the radio. Chong Tang follows her.)

Narrator (posing as radio broadcaster, in a different voice.)
On the 15th of August, the Japanese surrendered unconditionally to General Douglas MacArthur, the American Supreme Commander in the East, on board the Missouri. The Japanese decided to surrender after atomic bombs developed by the United States of America were dropped on the 6th of August in Hiroshima and 9th of August in Nagasaki, causing mass destruction.

Jasmine (gasps in wonder)
Is it really true? Or am I imagining things?

(Chong Tang keeps making “Uh! Uh! Uh!” sounds, and nodding his head.)

Jasmine (looks at Chong Tang)
Then it must be true, I guess.

(Chong Tang makes sounds to show agreement.)

Jasmine
Which means that soon, Papa and Mama will return.

(Chong Tang makes sounds of agreement.)

(Jasmine and Chong Tang freeze in their action.)

Narrator (from backstage)
One month after the surrender of the Japanese to the Americans, Jasmine and Chong Tang hear, on the radio, news of the Japanese’s upcoming surrender to the British at the Municipal Building* on 12 September 1945.

• *Municipal Building is today known as the City Hall.

Jasmine (turns to Chong Tang)
Shall we go to the Padang and witness the Victory Parade?
(Chong Tang nods his head excitedly.)
Okay. Let’s go then.
(Helps Chong Tang to walk. Both exit stage left.)

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Setting the Stage:
The stage remains unchanged. Only the radio is removed. 17 chairs are added: 9 for British side and 8 for Japanese side. A leather file is placed on the table on stage left with documents within.

(Lord Louis Mountbatten and British troops enter stage left and take their places at the table. S Itagaki and Japanese troops enter stage right and take their respective places. Mountbatten and Itagaki sit in the centre at their respective tables. Assistant enters stage left and walks up to centrestage, standing between the two tables.)

Assistant (solemnly)
The Surrender document shall be signed now.
(Walks up to Lord Louis Mountbatten. Mountbatten signs the document before him. Assistant then takes the file and brings it across to the Japanese’s table. Itagaki signs the document and returns it to the Assistant.)
The Japanese’s unconditional surrender has been accepted. Singapore shall now belong rightfully to the British.

(All rise and leave: British and Mountbatten exit stage left, Japanese and Itagaki exit stage right. Assistant follows the British. Positions of long tables are changed. [Refer to Act IV].)

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ACT IV: THE VICTORY PARADE
Setting the stage:
The tables are now placed horizontally side by side near the back stage as shown to act as a stage. 15 of the chairs are removed. The remaining 2 are placed alongside the tables’ end for people to climb up onto the tables.

Stage

Chairs/stools

Tables

Audience

(People at the Victory Parade enter the stage from all sides. Most are wearing hats. Some carry flags. Those in the front row look at the stage, waiting patiently. Those in the second row and behind crane their necks to have a better look at the stage. Jasmine, supporting and helping Chong Tang arrive late (they enter through stage left), so they are forced to stand in the back row, craning their necks to see the stage. The scene is noisy – until Lord Louis Mountbatten enters stage left and climbs onto the makeshift “stage”. Everybody silences and is attentive.)

Mountbatten (in a loud, clear, voice)
People of Singapore, the Japanese have just surrendered to us.
(Cheers and applause from the crowd.)
We have accepted their unconditional surrender, and we have given them the surrender document to sign. So, from today onwards, Singapore will belong to the British once more!
(Cheer and applause.)
I know that there are still many hardships, and some of you still cannot get over the torture or pain your loved ones have to go through during this difficult period. But, freedom has come at last! So, we should celebrate. We should celebrate – for FREEDOM!
(Those with hats thrown their hats into the air. Those with flags wave their flags.)
Now, let the Victory Parade begin!
(Raises his hat as a salute to the people. People continue waving flags and hats and cheering and clapping as the narrator narrates.)

• Band music begins. Volume is loud. Volume is decreased when the narrator begins.

Narrator
And so, the Victory Parade began. There was a band march-past, followed by acknowledgements towards the Malayan’s People Anti-Japanese Army and Force 136. Various people, like the leaders of the anti-Japanese guerilla movements, were also awarded medals by Lord Louis Mountbatten. Lord Mountbatten also paid tribute to those who had fought bravely and died defending Singapore and Malaya during the Japanese Occupation. It could be said as one of the happiest celebrations of Singapore’s history.
Finally, all the spectators went home, glad that the three long years of sheer terror were finally over. The British had come home.

(Crowd begins to disperse in all direction, some people still cheering and clapping. Jasmine helps Chong Tang out; they exit stage left.)

One of the long tables are removed. The other table and the 2 chairs are left there.

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ACT V: OUR PARENTS ARE HOME!
Setting the stage:
The scene is the same as that described in the last part of Act IV.

(Jasmine and Chong Tang enter stage left. Jasmine supports Chong Tang as he walks.)

Jasmine (after helping Chong Tang to sit on the chair)
Ah! We’re home at last. How tiring it was. But it was a great celebration.
(Chong Tang makes some sounds to show agreement.)
(Jasmine sighs.)
Although the Japanese have surrendered and the war is over, Papa and Mama are still not back yet. I wonder when they’ll be home.
(Freeze in position.)

Narrator
For the next four months, the children waited in anticipation for the return of their parents. Everyday, they waited for news of them.
The children thought that the waiting would go on forever, until one day, in January 1946…

• Forbidden Love is being played. Volume: loud. Then the volume is decreased as the play continues.

(There is the knocking of a door from backstage. Jasmine jumps, and walks over to stage left. She pantomimes the unlocking and opening of a door.)
(Then, Papa and Mama enter stage left together. They look as if they haven’t washed for ages. Both their hair are very long. They stand before Jasmine. Jasmine stares at them. No one speaks a word. Even Chong Tang looks on in silence.)
(Finally…)

Jasmine (softly)
Papa, is that really you?

(Pause)

Papa
Jasmine?

(Both Papa and Jasmine look at [for some time] and hug each other.)

Jasmine (faces Mama)
Mama! It’s a long time since we last saw each other.
(Hugs her.)

(Jasmine then leads Papa and Mama towards centrestage, where Chong Tang is sitting. Chong Tang tries to draw back in fear as he does not recognise these “strangers”.)

Mama (drawing closer to Chong Tang, gently)
It’s okay, Chong Tang. It’s only me, Mama.
(Chong Tang seems to recognise Mama’s voice. He draws closer. He tries to make the sound, “Ma-ma.” Mama hears that and hugs Chong Tang. She cries.)
My son!

(Papa then hugs Chong Tang. There are lots of tears of overjoy. Finally…)

• Music ends.

Jasmine
Let’s have a celebration for your homecoming, Papa, Mama. I’ll cook tonight.

Papa
That’s a great idea. We have not eat together for a long time, since we were separated.

Jasmine
But, there are not many dishes in the store.

Mama
It’s okay. One dish with rice is enough for all four of us.

Jasmine
I’ll go and cook now.

Mama
I’ll help you.

Jasmine
No, Mama. You and Papa have just returned home. You should have a good rest.

Mama
It’s okay. I’m not very tired.

(Both Mama and Jasmine exit stage right.)

(Papa pulls a chair and places it next to Chong Tang. He sits down. Chong Tang makes some sounds.)

Papa (places an arm around Chong Tang’s shoulder)
How are you, son?
(Chong Tang makes some sounds.)
(Papa maintains eye contact with Chong Tang)
I’m sorry this has to happen to you. You are already born retarded, and yet you have to lose a leg. I know it’s very terrible for you.
(Chong Tang makes some sounds.)
I’ll look after you, no matter what. If I can make lots of money, we’ll go to the States and get you a new artificial leg. If I can’t afford that, I’ll get you a wheelchair at least, so that you can move around in comfort.
(tears begin to flow down Papa’s cheeks. Papa looks down at his own feet and wipes away his tears.)
(Chong Tang slowly puts a hand up to his father’s face. His father feels the touch, looks up and sees his son looking at him. Papa is so happy that he hugs Chong Tang again. When he lets go, he wipes away another tear and sniffs.)
Everything’s going to be all right, son. It’s going to be all right.

(At this moment, Jasmine calls from the kitchen.)

Jasmine (calls)
Dinner’s ready!

(Jasmine enters stage right, carrying a plate and 4 pairs of chopsticks. She places it down on the table. Mama is behind her, carrying 4 bowls of rice and 4 glasses of water. Papa rises, trying to look happy and hide his tears. He helps Chong Tang to the table. Jasmine pulls the 2 chairs over to the table.)

Mama
There are not enough chairs.

Jasmine
I’ll go get two more.
(Exits stage right and returns with 2 more chairs, of which she places by the table.)
Let’eat now.
(All sit at the table.)

Mama
This is the best reunion ever.

(Chong Tang nods his head in agreement.)

Papa
A simple dinner like this is as good as a large celebration. Especially after the war, when the black market prices are still up and food is almost scarce, since trade has not resumed.

Mama (scolds Papa good-naturedly)
We’re talking about family reunion here, not black market prices!

Papa
Okay, okay.

Jasmine
Well, at least we are united.

(Everybody cheers and knocks their glasses together.)

~~~ THE END ~~~

2003-06-12T08:36:00.000-07:00

COMEDIC PLAYSCRIPT

Revised version

By August Lum

PREFACE

I wrote this play hoping to use it for the annual drama competition held in the school. The script turned out to be plotless and eventually, a later script, Our People Have Returned, was used as a replacement. The basis for this script was Celebration.

In this revised edition, I have given each of the main characters certain traits that make them distinctive in the play. Descriptions of these can be found under the CHARACTER STUDY section.

Note: some of the names of the characters have been derived from the writer’s classmates for more originality. In fact, their methods of speech came about after close studies of the writer’s classmates.

CHARACTERS

Chong Tang (the son)
Jasmine (the daughter)
Mr Loke
Mrs Loke
Lau Pok (Mr Loke’s boss)
Wan Ping (Lau Pok’s daughter)
Chu Xian (Jasmine’s friend)
Zhu Mei (Jasmine’s friend)
Li ‘En (Chong Tang’s friend)
Bernard (Chong Tang’s friend)
Mr Birch (party host)
Mrs Birch
Gurmit Singh
PM Goh Chok Tong
Millennium Party revellers (about 7)
Birch party guests (about 4)
Waiter

Total cast number: 26

MUSIC

For the Birch’s party:
Light classical music

For Millennium Swing Party:
Pop/Rock/Popular/Disco Music

First Song after countdown:
Auld Lang Syne

SYNOPSIS

ACT I: THE LOKE HOUSEHOLD
Both Chong Tang and Jasmine want to go to the Millennium Swing Party at Orchard Road, but their parents, Mr and Mrs Loke, want them to attend a private function organised by the Birches. Both Chong Tang and Jasmine feign sickness to excuse themselves from the function. In the end, Mr and Mrs Loke leave for the party, leaving the children at home. Chong Tang and Jasmine sneak out of the house to join their friends at Orchard, but neither brother nor sister knows each other’s New Year’s Eve plans.

ACT II: THE BIRCH’S RESIDENCE
At the Birch’s residence, Mrs Loke nearly creates humiliation by mentioning about Mr Birch’s great-grandfather and how angry Malay chiefs in Perak murdered him in the last century. Mr Loke meets his boss - affectionately known in the company as “Lau Pok” - and his ratty daughter, Wan Ping. They begin to chat freely, until Wan Ping complains that the function is getting boring as the guests all discuss topics that she herself didn’t understood. She wants Lau Pok to bring her to the Millennium Swing Party. Lau Pok only relents reluctantly when her daughter screams loudly - so as to save his face. Lau Pok forces Mr and Mrs Loke to go along with him by using the threat of firing Mr Loke if he didn’t comply.

ACT III: THE MILLENNIUM SWING PARTY
Chong Tang and Jasmine are enjoying themselves, dancing away happily with their friends. Unexpectedly, they bump into each other in front of the stage. Chong Tang asks Jasmine what she was doing here, and Jasmine asks the same question. They decide to party away the night together. Suddenly, Chong Tang spots Mr Loke, Mrs Loke, Lau Pok and Wan Ping heading towards them. They try to move away, but are blocked by a group of dancers. Chong Tang and Jasmine turn back their heads, and notice that their parents are getting closer. They decided to act fast. Chong Tang exchanges his black jacket with Jasmine. Jasmine gives him her pink sunglasses. They put on their disguises. Then they tell their friends not to reveal their names. Then they try to act normal by dancing and ignoring the approaching group.
Unfortunately, a party reveller in front shifts backwards, knocking into Chong Tang. Chong Tang falls backwards and bangs into Mr Loke. Mr Loke gives a shout of surprise. Chong Tang immediately turns around and apologises - in a high - pitched ‘female’ voice. Mr Loke finds it very strange: a girl with a hairstyle of a boy. Chong Tang immediately replied, “It’s the newest and most fashionable hairstyle.”
Mr Loke shrugs, and moves on with his wife, boss and Wan Ping. Mr Loke had only taken two steps ahead when he hears Bernard say, “Come on. Chong Tang. Let’s move to another spot.”
Chong Tang hisses angrily at Bernard to tell him to keep quiet. Mr Loke turns back to demand from Bernard what he had previously uttered. Chong Tang jumps to Bernard’s defence and reveals himself. Seeing that Mr Loke is about to blow his top, Jasmine decides to give the game away. Both children plead for forgiveness, but Mr Loke is adamant about punishing them. Lau Pok steps in to tell his sad story; how his tyranny had ruined his marriage. M Loke realises that he has gone much too far in refusing to allow his children any freedom, and apologies. He allows his children to rejoin the party. Everybody joins in the countdown together and sing “Auld Lang Syne” to welcome the new Millennium.

CHARACTER STUDY

Mr Loke
Mr Loke is a character who feels strongly for tradition. Chinese traditional values call for obedience, filial piety, respect for parents, honesty and a whole lot of other virtues that stem from the teachings from Confucius, Mencius, Lao Tse et cetera.
Mr Loke can be described as a ‘puppet’: in front of his children he acts as he is in control. On the other hand, his boss, whom he looks up to for his rice bowl, manipulates him. The contrast is evident in Acts 1 and 2.
He finally realises that he should give his children some freedom, rather than restrict them from doing their own things.

Mrs Loke
Mrs Loke acts as a sort of mediator between her husband and her children. Sometimes she sides with her husband. At times, she defends her children. But she does consider the circumstances before taking sides. She is also a faithful wife and doting mother.

The Loke children
Chong Tang and Jasmine are ordinary children who enjoy going to parties and hanging out with their friends, as most teenagers would do. Due to restrictions imposed by their father, they have to resort to lying in order to achieve their goal - which in this case is the Millennium Swing Street Party.
They are also natural actors, from being able to fake illnesses to disguising themselves so as not to be spotted by their parents.

Lau Pok
Lau Pok is Mr Loke’s boss. He is introduced in the Act 2, when the Lokes arrive at the Birch’s party. Lau Pok has a hearty and outgoing attitude. He spoils his daughter, Wan Ping, affectionately, going to the extent of accommodating her request to go to the Street Party (in reality, he wanted to save himself from embarrassment). He knows how to manipulate Mr Loke, and his own actions have a profound impact on the latter, whether on business or domestic matters. His open-mindedness can be compared to Mr Loke’s narrow vision; Lau Pok is ready to welcome and try out all sorts of things.

Wan Ping
Wan Ping is a termagant - a spoilt brat. She knows that her father, Lau Pok, has a soft spot towards her, therefore she uses that weakness to her own advantage. Whenever she makes a demand for something, she raises her voice. She doesn’t care whether she will be embarrassed in public - all she knows is that she will ultimately achieve her goal.

The Birches
The Birches are upper-class people; the lavish New Year’s Eve party they that hold is a proof of that. Mr Birch comes from the top ranks of the company that both Mr Loke and Lau Pok work for. Lau Pok may have been Mr Loke’s superior, but Mr Birch is the head above everyone else. He is a very gracious host, but does not take too lightly to unpleasant remarks about himself and his family – that is very natural, I should say, and not exclusive.

HOW THE IDEA AND STORY CAME ABOUT

In 1999, I went to watch a production of Johann Strauss’ operatta Die Fledermaus (The Bat) by the Singapore Lyric Theatre. The plot of the story follows as such:

I have to admit that plot can be rather confusing and complicating, with conspiracies here and there.

ACT I

Adele, the maid of the Eisenstein household, receives a letter from her sister Ida, who invites her to attend a ball at Prinz Orlofsky’s palace. She knows that the Eisensteins would not let her take the night off, so she hatches a plan that her Aunt is ill and that she has to go away for the time being.
Mrs Rosalinde Eisenstein herself is very distraught over the fact that her former boyfriend, Alfred, is outside the house serenading to her. To make matters worse, he climbs into the house! She hides Alfred before her husband, Gabriel von Eisenstein, returns home.
Gabriel Eisenstein arrives home with his lawyer, Dr Blind, in tow. Eisenstein is angry with Blind because of the latter’s incompetence, which resulted in Eisenstein having to spend eight instead of five days in jail for some minor offence. Blind leaves after a barage of insults are hurled at him. Dr Falke, Eisenstein’s old friend, arrives at the house to persuade Eisenstein to attend the same ball given by Prinz Orlofsky. Dr Falke hoped to use Eisenstein’s presence at the ball to get his revenge – Dr Falke had once been a victim of Eisenstein’s practical jokes when he had been left behind on a public square by Eisenstein after being drunk. He was mocked since he had been dressed in a bat suit for the party the previous night. Now, Dr Falke had hoped to turn the tables on Eisenstein. Eisenstein finally agrees to go to the party. As soon as they have left, Alfred appears wearing Eisenstein’s dressing gown. The prison governor, Frank, arrives to arrest Eisenstein. Instead, he takes Alfred away – by mistake.

ACT II

Dr Falke arrives at Prinz Orlofsky’s party with Eisenstein. They are joined by two ladies, Adele and Ida. Adele introduces herself as an aspiring actress by the name of Miss Olga in order to fool Eisenstein. But both recognise each other as they are not disguised, and engage themselves in banter. Eisenstein’s alias is the Marquis de Renard. Unknown to him, the prison governor has also come to attend the party, and he calls himself Chevalier Chagrin.
As part of his revenge, Dr Falke has invited Rosalinde to the ball to embarrass Eisenstein. Eisenstein has no idea that the so-called ‘Hungarian Countess’ is actually his wife since the latter is masked. Attracted by her beauty, he proceeds to flirt shamelessly with her, and tries to seduce her with his watch. Rosalinde succeeds in taking away Eisenstein’s watch. At six in the morning, Eisenstein and Frank take their departure, with the excuse that they have their respective duties to attend to.

ACT III

In prison, Alfred, who has been arrested under the pretext of ‘Eisenstein’, is singing away, and Frosch, the drunken gaoler, is very much irritated. Frank returns to the prison, and is surprised by the entrance of the sisters Adele and Ida. Frank signals Frosch to bring the women to another part of the prison, just as Eisenstein arrives to report for his detention. The two men are surprised to see each other, and reveal their true identity. Frank is confused over the fact that he had already arrested ‘Eisenstein’, and yet Eisenstein is standing right before his eyes! Just then, Dr Blind, the lawyer, arrives. Eisenstein takes the chance to disguise himself as Blind by stripping the lawyer of his wig and gown.
Rosalinde arrives to bail Alfred out. Little does she realise that the lawyer was actually her husband in disguise. Eisenstein became furious and jealous when he saw the proceedings. He interrogates Alfred and Rosalinde on the topic of their affair. He finally reveals himself, and is about to swear revenge on Rosalinde when she produces the watch. It is Eisenstein’s own watch, and there and then he realises that the Countess he had tried to flirt with was actually his wife! The misunderstanding is cleared up when Dr Falke arrives with Prinz Orlofsky, and Dr Falke explains that everything was part of his revenge on Eisenstein for that previous incident.

(Adapted from the Synopsis from the booklet of the Singapore Lyric Theatre’s production of Die Fledermaus.)
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ACT I: THE LOKE HOUSEHOLD

Setting the stage:
A small table is placed on stage right. There is a telephone, a telephone book and a small photograph of Confucius on the tabletop. A lamp (those with a tall support from the ground) is placed to the side of this table. The lamp is left switched on throughout the entire scene.

• CURTAINS OPEN.

(Mr and Mrs Loke enter stage left and stand at centre stage. They are all dressed up, ready to leave for the Birch’s party.)

Mr Loke (calls loudly): Children! Are you ready yet? It’s almost half-past seven!
(There is no answer. Mr Loke calls again.) Children! (Still, there is no answer. Exasperated, he screams) CHONG TANG! JASMINE!

(Chong Tang enters stage left, bending at an angle of 90 degrees, clutching his stomach, moaning, “Oww, oww, oww…” as he walks towards centre stage.)

Mr Loke (sharply): What’s the matter with you?

Bernard (still clutching stomach): Stomachache… oww, oww, oww! (Whines)

Mr Loke (irritably): Go and apply some medicated oil! And hurry! We’re running late!

Chong Tang: Father, may I not go to the Birch’s party?

Mr Loke: Certainly not! All four of us have been invited. It is courtesy that the whole family goes! Confucius once said - (Raises a finger in the air, and waves it about as he paces about the stage in the same mannerism as a traditional Chinese scholar would do) Filial piety is of utmost importance. Whatever the father says, the son has to obey.

Chong Tang: Why is Confucius so sexist? What about the daughter?

Mr Loke (stops suddenly, and snaps): Quiet! It is rude to interrupt! (Resumes pacing about) Confucius once said that children should never interrupt when grownups are talking.

Chong Tang: But I’m not a child anymore!

Mr Loke (stops again): Silence! Children should never answer back to their parents. (Resumes pacing) Confucius once said that children should give utmost respect to their parents.

Chong Tang (exasperated) But - (Hesitates - suddenly he does not know what to say) But wouldn’t I look an awful sight? Imagine me shaking hands with Mr Birch with my body bent 90 degrees. (Stares at Mr Loke’s trouser zipper) Mr Birch will think that I am looking at his pants zipper because he has not zipped it! And, what if halfway during the party, I have to keep saying, “Excuse me, but I need to go to the toilet because I have a stomach-ache.”
(Remains on stage)

Mrs Loke (tries to smile at her husband to pacify him): I think he had better rest at home.

Mr Loke (hesitantly): Okay, considering the fact that Jasmine has to go. (Turns towards stage left and yells) JASMINE!

(Jasmine enters stage left, touching her head, walking unsteadily.)

Jasmine (in a weak voice): Oh, Pa, my head doesn’t feel good.

Mr Loke (exasperated): Now WHAT’S wrong with you?

Jasmine: I feel giddy…feel like fainting.

Mr Loke (slaps his forehead in disgust and yells): Jeez! First that brother of yours, now you!

Mrs Loke: Now, now, dear… (Raises her finger in mockery of Mr Loke’s imitation of Confucius) Confucius once said that men shouldn’t swear. It is a vice to utter vulgarities.

Mr Loke (sheepishly – unable to believe that he had been mocked in return by his wife): Right dear. You’re very right. (Goes to kneel down in front of the photo bearing Confucius and kow-tows. As he does so, he speaks) Great Saint, please forgive me! Oh, I have let you down again! Clean my sins, ye saviour!

Mrs Loke (ignoring Mr Loke, goes to put a hand around Jasmine’s shoulder): Then you’d better stay at home and rest, dear.

Jasmine (nods and looks at the floor. In a weak and tired voice she speaks): I think I should. (Looks up again and manages a weak smile) You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll go to the Millen - I mean, doctor, later.

(By this time, Mr Loke has risen from the floor.)

Mr Loke (palms outstretched, angrily) Hello! Girl! It’s New Year’s Eve! Where can you find a doctor on this day?

Jasmine: At the hospital. (Giggles) Just joking. I’ll take some aspirins later. I’m going back to my room now.

Chong Tang: Me too.

Jasmine: Enjoy yourselves.

Chong Tang: Don’t forget to bring back those pastries.

Mrs Loke (kindly): Have a good rest, dears. We can’t afford to have you absent on the first day of school.

(Both Chong Tang and Jasmine exit stage left. Chong Tang still bends at an angle of 45 degrees and clutches his stomach. Jasmine walks unsteadily, hand on her head.)

Mr Loke: Look AT our children! How the heck - I mean, how do they take care of their body nowadays? They hardly exercise at all! That Chong Tang: he only knows how to play chess everyday until his brain grows bigger and his body becomes smaller! And that Jasmine - she’s a real bookworm. Read, read, and read every day until she doesn’t know how to walk steadily. (Sighs) What KIND of children do we have now?

Mrs Loke (humouring her husband): Grown-up children?

Mr Loke (unwittingly): What else? Who do you think they are? Four-year-old kids? No way! They should know how to make decisions for themselves! They should be able to do things independently! We shouldn’t force them or make decisions for them anymore!

Mrs Loke: Then why did you make our children come along with us? If you want them to be independent you should’ve let them have their own plans for tonight!

Mr Loke (virtually screaming)
No! They will adhere to what I say. Because Confucius says that children are to obey every single word that their parent says! (Points finger straight up into the air) Even if I tell them to go and die, they must go and die!

Mrs Loke
CHOI!

(At this moment, there is a low rumble of thunder. A look of horror is etched across Mr Loke’s face. He quickly gets down on his knees and kow-tows in front of the Confucius portrait.)

Mr Loke: Great Saint, I am sorry for what I have done. I promise that I will never curse and swear again!

(Another roar of thunder)

Mrs Loke (pantomimes looking out of the window): My, my, it’s going to rain soon. We’d better hurry dear. Stop praying and get up!

Mr Loke (still on the ground, looks up at his wife): Confucius hasn’t forgiven me!

Mrs Loke: Confucius is not a deity, you numbskull! He’s a scholar! Now hurry up or we’ll be late!

(Both Mr and Mrs Loke exit stage right. The sound of a door closing is produced from backstage. Lights dim and completely extinguish. The lamp is the only source of light.)

(A few seconds after Mr and Mrs Loke exit stage, Chong Tang enters stage left wearing a black jacket. His body is still bent at 90 degrees and is clutching his stomach. He looks around quickly. When he sees that the house is deserted except for him and his sister, he quickly straightens his body and rubs his back as his body had been bent for a long time. He then walks briskly across the stage to the telephone on stage right. He opens the telephone book.)

Chong Tang (flips through the pages quickly and mutters as he does so.): Li ‘En…Li ‘En…Li ‘En…ah-ha! 270 8001. (Picks up the phone and dials the number. Waits for a while before speaking into the receiver.) Hello? Li ‘En? Yes. Chong Tang. You ready to go down to Orchard Road? … For what? You don’t know why you’re going down to Orchard Road? Stupid Boy! (Puts his free palm outwards, as if in astonishment) Tonight’s the Millennium Swing Party! (Pause, and then leans forward and squints) You’re in the toilet? Are you going to bathe? (Regains normal posture) You’re making chocolate cake? (Cocks his head forward) Okay. Meet you outside the Orchard MRT at 8:45. (Hangs up. Flips through the telephone book again, muttering) Bernard…Bernard…Bernard…Where the heck is Bernard’s number? (Continues flipping) Ah-ha! (Runs his fingers along his chin) 382 5883. (Picks up the receiver and dials the number. Waits for a moment before speaking). Hello? Bernard? Chong Tang here. What? You’re making chocolate cake? Li ‘En is also doing the same thing as you. (Cups his other ear - the reception is not very good) What? Speak louder! Oh, you’re helping your mother to bake a chocolate cake. For what? (Pauses) I see. The cake is for the First Breakfast of the Millennium. (Looks at his watch) 8:45. We’re meeting at 8:45. (Pauses).Too early? What are you talking about? The party starts at nine! (Pauses)
Don’t you want to stand somewhere near the stage? Remember, boy! Your favourite Gurmit Singh will be performing! (Places free hand on hips) Okay. So 8:45 outside the Orchard MRT station. Yes. Bye. (Hangs up). Okay. Time to go. Guess I’ll have to come back before Father and Mother return. (Shuts the telephone book, chuckles to himself and exits stage right.)

(A few seconds after Chong Tang has left the stage, Jasmine enters stage left, with a pair of pink sunglasses on her head. She still walks unsteadily, hand touching her head. Suddenly, she becomes alert and looks around. Seeing that the house is deserted, she walks briskly to the telephone. She opens the telephone book.)

Jasmine (muttering as she flips the pages quickly) Chu Xian…Chu Xian…Chu Xian…yes! 442 1391. (Picks up the receiver and dials the number. Waits for a moment before speaking.) Hello? Chu Xian? Yes, Jasmine here. (Pause) Of course I’m ready. (Giggles) We’ll meet outside the C.K. Tang departmental store. Yes. At 8:45. The party starts at nine, so we can get a good place close to the stage. (Pause) I’m going to call Zhu Mei now. OK? Bye-bye! (Hangs up. Flips through the telephone book again and mutters) Zhu Mei…Zhu Mei…Zhu Mei…ah! 746 7135. (Picks up the phone and dials. Waits for a moment before speaking into the receiver.) Zhu Mei? Is that you? Yes. This is Jasmine here. (In a surprised tone) You’re leaving for Orchard Road soon? (Excitedly) Great! Chu Xian and I will meet you outside the C.K. Tang departmental store at 8:45. Yes. C.K. Tang. (Clenches her free fist excitedly) Okay. See you later. Bye. (Hangs up. Shuts the telephone book and exits stage right, humming “Stand by Me”.)

• CURTAINS CLOSE

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ACT II: THE BIRCH’S RESIDENCE

Setting the Stage:
Three chairs are placed centre stage. Lau Pok sits on the right-most chair, with Wan Ping standing beside him. Both are holding glasses filled with drinks. The other party guests - 4 of them, are standing and chatting away behind. Classical music is being played in the background. (Refer to MUSIC on Pg 1.) Mr and Mrs Birch stand at stage right, welcoming and shaking hands with guests.

• CURTAINS OPEN

(Mr and Mrs Loke enter stage right and approach the Birches.)

Mr Birch: Why, how nice to see you two! (Shakes hands with Mr and Mrs Loke. Mrs Birch follows.) We haven’t met for a long time! How long was that?

Mr Loke: Probably a year.

(Both men laugh.)

Mr Birch (sighs in wonder): How fast time passes. It’s already New Year’s Eve. Tomorrow, we’ll be in the year 2000. Say, where are your children?

Mr Loke (curtly): My son has got a stomachache; my daughter feels giddy. (Shakes his head in disgust) Such useless people. Can’t even be bothered to exercise.

Mr Birch
Well, you should motivate them and set an example by going out to exercise. What sports do you do?

Mr Loke: Ah…ah… (Fingers his tie nervously, and makes funny shapes on his mouth by shifting his jaws uncomfortably.) Walking. Yes. Walking. I always walk from my flat to my car at the car park every morning. In the evening, I walk from my car back to my flat again.

Mr Birch: Oh, yes, walking. What wonderful exercise. I sail. I go out to sea every Sunday morning on my private yacht. Just like my great-grandfather.

Mrs Loke: Wasn’t your great-grandfather James Wheeler Woodford Birch, the first Resident of Perak?

Mr Birch (surprise that such a topic would be mentioned): Why, of course.

Mrs Loke (turns away from Mr Birch and as she speaks, her tone gets angrier still): He was that arrogant and impatient man who was scornful of Malays and eventually was murdered by angry Malay chiefs at Pasir Salak, right?

(In time with Mrs Loke’s dialogue, Mr Birch’ s eyes first widen; stunned. Then he unwittingly lets his wineglass tip 180 degrees upside down, and all its contents spill out. As Mrs Loke adds on and on, his cheeks bulge and his face becomes red with fury.)

NOTE: All this has to be timed to coincide with Mrs Loke’s dialogue; so Mr Birch has to do the last action by the time Mrs Loke finishes her dialogue.

Mr Loke (grins sheepishly at Mr Birch): Pardon my wife, Sir, she has gone a little cocky today. It could probably be the Millennium Bug thing.

Mrs Loke (protests sharply): I did not –

(Before she can finish, she is pulled away by Mr Loke.)

Mrs Loke (suddenly seems to regain her ‘consciousness’, and looks back at her husband, still rather stunned.): Why, yes.

(Mr and Mrs Loke leave the couple alone and walk somewhere between stage right and centre stage. Mr and Mrs Birch welcome the next couple.)

Mr Loke (places his face close to Mrs Loke’s, glares at her and whispers angrily): Do you know that you nearly humiliated me? Why did you have to say this his great-grandfather was murdered?

Mrs Loke (apologetically): I’m sorry, dear. It’s just that I’m a history buff and I always get excited by historical names and events.

Mr Loke (pulls his face away from Mrs Loke’s.) Never mind. (In a quicker and much more interested voice) By the way, how did you know that Birch’s great-grandfather got murdered?

Mrs Loke (pleased): I’m a history teacher. Remember?

Mr Loke: Oh, yes.

(Mrs Loke looks forward and spots Lau Pok sitting on the chair, talking to his daughter, Wan Ping.)

Mrs Loke (leans close to her husband, while having her eye fixed onto Lau Pok): Isn’t that your boss, hubby?

Mr Loke (looks towards where Mrs Loke is pointing, and replies glumly.): It is.

(At this moment, Lau Pok turns back his head and spots Mr Loke)

Lau Pok (exclaims in a hearty manner): Ah! Ah Loke! (Laughs and waves his hand) Come, come and sit down here. Yes. You and your beautiful wife.

(Mr and Mrs Loke go over to the chairs and sit. Mrs Loke takes the left-most chair while Mr Loke takes the chair in the middle, in between Lau Pok. Lau Pok addresses Mrs Loke.)
Mmm. You’re so gorgeously dressed tonight. (In a singsong voice) You are sooooo beautifuuuuuuul. (Produces a raspy kind of laugh. Takes Mrs Loke’s hand and kisses it – as Mr Loke stares wide-eye at the scene unfolding before him. His face turns a shade red.)

Mrs Loke (giggles): Hee, hee, hee, hee… (Turns away shyly)

Mr Loke (still staring at his wife’s hands): Uh, Boss…

Lau Pok: Tsk! I told you not to call me Boss. Call me Lau Pok.

Wan Ping (laughing): You can call him “Tau Pok” or “Pok Khai”. Better still: “Mee Pok”.

Lau Pok (in a light-hearted manner, towards Wanping): Tsk! So rude!
(Mr Loke takes a sip of his drink, all the while staring at Lau Pok’s hands and Mrs Loke’s hands.)

Wanping (cheekily): Wah, trying to impress your future wife huh?

(At this point of time, Mr Loke spits his drink out violently. His eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.)

Lau Pok: Cheah! How can I take liberties with Uncle Loke’s wife? (Remove his hands from Mrs Loke’s immediately and discreetly. Turns towards Mr Loke) Hor, Ah Loke? (Gives him a little nudge, and then laughs again.)

Mr Loke (still wide-eyed): I see you’ve become an Anglophile – you have adopted the practice of kissing women’s hands – when you once told us that you came from a family that upheld traditional Chinese culture and values?

Lau Pok: Ho, ho, Ah Loke! We must be more open-minded! Expose ourselves to the world and embrace everything with affection - including your sweet wife.

(This time, Mr Loke shows no reaction.)

Lau Pok (takes a sip of his drink): You have a much too narrow vision, Ah Loke. (Raises the other free finger and waves it about as he speaks.) As Confucius once said: “The frog in the well does nothing but look up at the sky.”

Mr Loke (looks at the sky, ponders, and looks back at Lau Pok again): Confucius didn’t say that.

Lau Pok: Never mind. But trust me, you must learnt to enjoy other things, and not just stick to your own realm.

(A waiter enters stage left carrying a tray with a plate containing potato chips. He approaches the Lokes.)

Waiter (addresses Mr and Mrs Loke): Potato chips, Sir, Madam?

(Mr Loke shakes his head in rejection. Mrs Loke take three chips and thanks the waiter.)

Lau Pok (takes a sip of his drink): Where are your children?

Mr Loke (gives an exasperated sigh and shakes his head): Where else but home of course? They’re not feeling well.

Lau Pok: Listen to me. They should drink more fruit juice. It’s good for their health. They should also take Vitamin C. Must drink more water, understand? If they have the cough, they should refrain from eating chicken. You must make them exercise more regularly. Understand?

Mr Loke: Yes, Boss. (Lau Pok glares at him, mouth puckered up like a bulldog’s. In return, Mr Loke outstretches both palms in an effort to ‘fan’ the heat about to implode within Lau Pok.) Okay, okay. Lau Pok.

Wan Ping: You know, Pa, you look like my Chinese teacher at school.

Lau Pok: Is your Chinese teacher male or female?

Wan Ping: She’s a female.

Lau Pok: Then how would I look like your Chinese teacher, Girl? I’m a man. A man cannot be a woman.

Wan Ping: I know that, Pa. (Shakes Lau Pok’s arm rapidly.) Pa, I want to go to the Millennium Swing Party.

Lau Pok: Not now, girl.

Wan Ping: It’s very boring here! You people keep talking about things that I don’t understand! I want to go and dance!

Lau Pok: Later, gir -

Wan Ping (shouts): Now!

Lau Pok: Be patien -

Wan Ping (screeches): NOW!

(There is a sudden silence. Several Party Guests look in their direction, and then begin muttering and beckoning towards the main characters. Lau Pok is embarrassed.)

Lau Pok (puts the glass down): Okay, okay. Let’s go now. I’ve had enough of you.

Wan Ping (grinning over victory): Pa is so good.

Lau Pok (touches Wan Ping’s nose affectionately): Of course, Sweetie Pie (Turns to Mr Loke) My daughter wants to go to the Millennium Swing Party at Orchard Road. You must come with us. You and your beautiful wife.

Mr Loke: I don’t really like crowded places -

Lau Pok: Oh, for goodness, learn how to relax! I bet you stress yourself out too much at home. Right, wife-of-Ah-Loke?

Mrs Loke: It should be very true.

Mr Loke (in a complaining tone): But-

Lau Pok: Have you forgotten what I have told you? You must be open-minded! Go and try out! You may even enjoy yourself! (Points towards stage right) Now quick, leave!

Mr Loke (complains again): But-

Lau Pok (sharply): No buts! Either you come or you’re fired!

Mr Loke (unhappily yielding to his boss’ will): Okay, okay

(The Lokes, Lau Pok and Wan Ping rise from their chairs and walk over to shake hands with Mr and Mrs Birch, wishing them good night and a Happy New Year. Then they exit stage right.)

• MUSIC STOPS.

• CURTAINS CLOSE.

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ACT III: THE MILLENNIUM SWING PARTY

Setting the Stage:
A makeshift stage, complete with steps leading from the actual stage floor, is set onto centre stage. A large white screen is suspended from the ceiling and 2m above the stage. The words SWING SINGAPORE - MILLENNIUM COUNTDOWN PARTY are flashed on the screen.

PRODUCTION AND TECHNICAL NOTES
• Party revellers are to wear dark-coloured clothes, otherwise the glaring effects of bright clothes will cause them to stand out more than the main characters, hence distracting the audience from the story.
• Multicoloured flashing lights are to be turned on at the start of Act III. The colour of these lights should be of darker shades, such as blue, green and dark red. Party Revellers will then dance under these lights. For the main characters to stand out, will the producers please request for two pure white spotlights to be trained on the characters as they move about the stage, so that they will stand out to the audience on an otherwise crowded stage.

• The first piece of music, TARZAN AND JANE, is played at high volume.

(Party Revellers enter the auditorium through the entrances at the back, run down the aisles, making a lot of noise and spraying confetti all over the place, and finally climbing onto the stage. They begin to dance to the music. After a while, Gurmit Singh climbs up onto the makeshift stage. Pure white spotlight is trained on him.)

• MUSIC VOLUME IS LOWERED.

Gurmit Singh (excitedly and dancing around as well.): Whoa, everybody! Welcome to the Swing Singapore Millennium Countdown Party. (Looks at his watch) It’s nine o’clock now. In three hour’s time, we’ll be counting down together to welcome in the New Year. That’s right! It’ll be year 2000 at midnight. And within this three hours, there’ll be loads of programmes and performances. Best of all, you get to dance! (Shouts loudly into the microphone) Enjoy yourselves, people!

(Gurmit Singh throws his arms into the air and yells a “Woo!” Party Revellers, still dancing, clap and cheer vigorously. Gurmit Singh leaves the makeshift stage.)

• MUSIC VOLUME IS INCREASED.

(At this moment, Chong Tang, Bernard and Li ‘En enter stage right, behind Party Revellers [Party Revellers’ fronts are facing the tables] and ‘dance’ their way through to stage left.)

• MUSIC VOLUME IS DECREASED AT THIS POINT OF TIME.

Li ‘En (excitedly, eyes wide open, pointing at the empty spot.): Eh, look! There’s an empty spot over here. (Beckons to Chong Tang and Bernard.) Come, come! Let’s dance here!

(The three of them resume their dancing. A while later, Jasmine, Chu Xian and Zhu Mei enter stage right behind the Party Revellers. They move to a spot on stage right.)

Jasmine: Ah, this is a good place! We can watch all the performances from here.

(All dance for a while. Then, Jasmine, Chu Xian and Zhu Mei move to centre stage. Almost at the same time, Chong Tang, Bernard and Li ‘En shift from stage left to centre stage. Suddenly, Chong Tang bumps into Jasmine.)

• NOTE: Both Chong Tang and Jasmine exclaim their respective dialogues simultaneously.

Chong Tang (angrily without looking up)
Blinded numbskull!

Jasmine (hysterically; near the point of screaming)
MOLEST!

Bernard (stepping right up next to Chong Tang)
Eh, Chong Tang, how could you do something so indecent? (Turns to look at the ground, wages finger and sighs) I’ve known you for so many years, and now you have finally shown your true self! I’m so disappointed – I’ll pretend I didn’t know you at all – (turns away – coincidentally, Li’En steps on his foot. Bernard looks up at Li’En immediately and speaks in a disapprovingly tone) Hey, what’s the meaning of this –

Li’En (rather unhappily)
Shut up! Can’t you see what’s going on?

(Both look at Chong Tang and Jasmine, who have begun posing as stiffly as statues and are staring at each other – in astonishment. Chong Tang stares wide-eyed at Jasmine. Jasmine stares back, also wide-eyed, at Chong Tang. Both are silent. Then, Li ‘En stands between them and waves his hand up and down in front of Chong Tang’s and Jasmine’s faces.)

Li ‘En (continue waving his hand and turning his head left and right at intervals to look at both of their faces): Eh, are you okay?

(Chong Tang grabs Li ‘En’s hand and pushes it away, continuing to stare at Jasmine even as he does it.)

Chong Tang (finally speaking…and still staring at Jasmine.)
What ARE you doing here?

Jasmine (still staring at Chong Tang): What ARE you doing here?

Chong Tang (eyes still fixed on Jasmine): I asked you first.

Jasmine (eyes still fixed on Chong Tang): I asked you - second. (Breaking out of trance) Anyway, aren’t you supposed to be at home, resting with a stomachache? What if you do it on the road, right in front of everybody?

Chong Tang (breaking from his initial shock, and crossing his arms): And aren’t you supposed to be at home, resting since you feel giddy? What if you faint, right in front of everybody?

Jasmine (defiantly): Well, I’m fine.

Chong Tang (retorts sharply): Well, I’m fine TOO. (Turns away and looks at his surroundings.)
Aw, cut the crap. Let’s dance.

Jasmine (stops staring as well. Speaks in a rather high-pitched and unhappy voice since she had been “accused” by her brother of lying): Fine, fine!

(All resume dancing)

(A little while later, Lau Pok, Mr Loke, Mrs Loke and Wan Ping enter stage right. Wan Ping is dancing as she moves through the crowd, as she leads the group, followed by Lau Pok, Mr Loke and Mrs Loke. Mr Loke keeps covering his ears as he walks, and keeps shooting dirty looks of disapproval to people who were blocking his way, or dressed in outrageous clothing. The group moves to stage right, where they stay and watch the stage. Wan Ping is still moving her body in tune with the music. Meantime, Jasmine happens to turn to her right. She spots Mr and Mrs Loke and gasps. She quickly turns to Chong Tang.)

Jasmine (grabs Chong Tang’s arm and rattles off urgently.): Chong Tang! Mummy and Daddy are here! What should we do?

Chong Tang (hisses angrily): Don’t ask me! I’m the dumb-ass in the family! I went to EM3 like those kids in Jack Neo’s movie! I was discriminated! You – you went to EM1! Later you went into the Gifted Programme while I went into Normal stream! So what is it now? Are you trying to extract a stupid answer from me, and then you humiliate me by offering a better solution? Are you implying that I am stupid or what? (Chong Tang stops suddenly and takes deep breaths. His voice becomes calm once more. Places his hands – palms facing Jasmine - in front of him as he speaks.) Really, really. Don’t ask me. I thought you read lots of books? You should know what to do.

Jasmine: I don’t always find escape plan in books!

(Touches her chin thoughtfully, eyes focused on nowhere. Chong Tang’s arms are akimbo, and he looks at her, waiting for an answer to appear.)

Chong Tang: Well?

Jasmine (looks up at Chong Tang and rattles off the words): The only thing I know what to do is… (Leans forward in exasperation and hisses) ESCAPE!

Chong Tang (in a deadpan tone – thinking that Jasmine’s plans are rather unremarkable): That’s it?

Jasmine (virtually tearing her hair): Duh!

(Chong Tang, Bernard, Li ‘En, Jasmine, Chu Xian and Zhu Mei begin to move towards stage left. But Party Revellers on stage left refuse to give way and thus block the group’s path. The group try to squeeze through, but find it impossible. Jasmine turns back her head. Wan Ping, Lau Pok, Mr Loke and Mrs Loke begin moving FROM stage right TO stage left.)

Jasmine (speaks rapidly and urgently): What should we do? They’re approaching us! (Tears her hair again and wails) We’re going to be dead! It’s a catastrophe! The end of the world is here! We’re doomed!

Chong Tang (stops walking and turns around to face Jasmine): Don’t talk so fast like a machine gun! And please, shut up! Let me think of a way out!

Jasmine (arms akimbo, training her eyes on Chong Tang, and cocks her head sideways, as if she is very impressed with Chong Tang): Oh, so now you’re the one with brains.

Chong Tang: I didn’t say that I had brains. I said I have one brain. If you have more than two brains then you’re a freak. (Laughs)

Jasmine: Just shut up and do something! (Turns her head back) They’re just behind us!

(Wan Ping, Lau Pok, Mr Loke and Mrs Loke are at centre stage now.)

Chong Tang (in a mocking tone): So, Smart Little Girl, what do we do now?

Jasmine (touches her chin once more very thoughtfully, eyes focussed on the ground. Then she looks up at Chong Tang and raises her finger to make a point.): Change clothes.

Chong Tang (opens his eyes wide and tilts heads forward in astonishment): You don’t expect me to strip myself here, do you?

Jasmine (screws her face to give the look that she is really disgusted with Chong Tang’s imprudence): Of course not, idiot! What I mean is that I’ll take your jacket and you’ll take my sunglasses.

Chong Tang (in disgust, and strokes his arms as if they had goose pimples): But your sunglasses are pink! It’s so girlish!

Jasmine (hisses urgently): Do it or Daddy will catch you!

Chong Tang (rather reluctantly): *Tsk* Okay, okay.

(Chong Tang takes off his black jacket and passes it to Jasmine. Jasmine takes off her sunglasses and passes it to Chong Tang. They put on their new disguises. Wan Ping, Lau Pok, Mr and Mrs Loke have arrived at stage left. They move behind Chong Tang, Jasmine and their friends. Suddenly, a Party Reveller in front of Chong Tang shifts backwards and knocks into Chong Tang. Chong Tang hits Mr Loke.)

Mr Loke (angrily): Hey! Watch it!

Chong Tang (turns around and speaks in a high-pitched female voice): Oh, so sorry, Sir.
(As he speaks, he keeps bowing to Mr Loke quickly.)

Mr Loke (in a calm voice, palms facing outwards in a gesture to beckon Chong Tang to stop.): Okay, okay, stop it. I accept your apology. You’re forgiven.

Chong Tang (continuing into falsetto): No sir, my mother says that I must bow and apologise profusely, then the apology will be accepted.

Mr Loke (rather irritably and loudly): Yes, yes, you’ve apologised profusely enough! Now, for goodness, stop it!

Chong Tang: Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.

Mr Loke (adjusts his glasses and squints to study Chong Tang’s pink sunglasses and hair): Just a minute. Why do you have a boy’s hairstyle when you’re a girl?

Chong Tang: Ooh. This is the newest and most fashionable hairstyle today, Sir. We girls now like to dress like boys.

Mr Loke: I see. Well then, Happy New Year. I hope that you’ve made your mother proud.

Chong Tang: Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir.

(Wan Ping, Lau Pok, Mr and Mrs Loke continue moving towards stage left. Chong Tang breathes in and out deeply, in relief. The crowd is getting noisier. Bernard, having experienced the near-miss of Chong Tang bumping into his parents, decides that they should move to another spot to avoid the same kind of trouble.)

Bernard (starts to push through the crowd first, before turning back and shouting to the others in order to be heard above the din.): Let’s move to another place! Chong Tang? Li’En?

(At this moment, Mr Loke stops walking. He turns around. Mrs Loke stops walking. Then Lau Pok. Then Wan Ping.)

Chong Tang (freezes and sucks breath sharply): You IDIOT! (Emphasis on the word ‘IDIOT’.)

Mr Loke (swimming through the crowd): Who called the name “Chong Tang”? (By some coincidence, he points towards Bernard.) You!

Bernard (eyes dart around the surroundings hurriedly): Huh? Who? (Makes eye contact with Mr Loke – gives the look of innocence) Were you talking to me, Sir?

Mr Loke (suspiciously, arms akimbo): Obviously. I recognise your voice. You were the one who called Chong Tang. (Raises finger towards the ceiling) I swear by God that it was you!

Bernard (places both hands in front of him in defence): No…no…it wasn’t me!

Mr Loke (voice increases in volume): Don’t lie, Boy! I don’t like people who lie!

(Some of the Party Revellers begin to look in their direction.)

Bernard (in a very scared voice): I…I…

(Chong Tang decides to step in to Bernard’s defence)

Chong Tang (in his normal voice): It is I, Papa. (Takes off his sunglasses)

(Mr Loke stares at Chong Tang. Chong Tang’s face is expressionless. There is silence between father and son.)

Mr Loke (still staring hard, and speaking in a low, growling tone): What are you doing here?

Wan Ping (tugs a little at Mrs Loke’s sleeve): Aunty, what’s going on?

Mrs Loke (puts her finger to her lips to hush Wan Ping): Shhh! He’s going to steam up.

(Both groups are watching Mr Loke; not one dares to move. The other dancers are oblivious to this scene. Mr Loke clenches his left fist, then his right. His shoulders shift upwards slowly, up to cheek level. He begins to show his teeth and growl. His glares become sharper. His head is lowered.
Suddenly…
Jasmine hurries in front of Chong Tang.)

Jasmine (cries): Forgive me, Daddy! It was my fault too! I lied to you!

Chong Tang (craning his neck over Jasmine’s shoulders): Why didn’t you ask him to forgive me as well?

(Jasmine is much too terribly upset to reply Chong Tang. She just keeps crying.)

Mrs Loke (trying to soften up the tense situation by laughing a little and injecting some humour): Uh…Ah Loke, it’s hot down here. Why not go to CK Tang and cool off a little?

Mr Loke: Stand aside! (Brushes Mrs Loke aside rudely) This is between my children and me! (Glaring at the children and raising his finger slowly and stiffly) For fifteen years, I have tried to educate my children. I myself have set a good example by lying to nobody and I expected my children to follow. I have been filial to my parents and my parents-in-law – I obey every word that they say, and I expect my children to follow in my footsteps over that matter! (Lowers his finger slowly again) But my children my disappointed me!

Jasmine (still in tears): We’re sorry, Daddy!

Chong Tang: Yah – please forgive us, Papa!

Jasmine: We promise not to do such a thing again!

Mr Loke (shaking his head):
Confucius once said, “To lie is a great sin.”

Wan Ping (voices her thoughts out of the blue): Teacher didn’t teach us that.

Mr Loke (glances up at Wan Ping): Never mind; lying a great sin anyway. (Looks back at his children and keeps shaking his head while he talks) You have disappointed me. You have angered me tremendously. You have brought me beyond my limits. I shall not hesitate to mete out punishment!

Chong Tang and Jasmine (stare at each other in horror, and cry together): NO!

Chong Tang (pleading for his life): Please, Papa, don’t!

Jasmine (hands on her head in horror): You cannot do that, Daddy!

Mr Loke (growls): Who says that I can’t? Come home with me now!

(Party Revellers begin to shift away to isolate the characters. Mr Loke ignores them and attempts to lunge forward and grab Chong Tang and Jasmine’s arms.)

Mrs Loke (stunned and quite angry that her husband is about to do the following): NO! (Rushes out and grabs Mr Loke’s arms to restrain him) You can’t do this in public! You cannot punishment them out here in front of everybody!

Mr Loke (yells back – catching the attention of some Party Revellers): As if I care that they lose their dignity right here and then!

Lau Pok (arms akimbo): Ah Loke! This is going too far! How could you be so autocratic over your children?

Mr Loke (very forcefully): I believe that as a parent I should be paternalistic! I am doing this for their good! I want them to be raised up using traditional Asian values! And I want them to carry on this tradition! (Breathes deeply and angrily)

Lau Pok: I know that you love you children deeply and you want to educate them. But you must not manipulate them like puppets! Look at me. I used to be like you – that was when I had a wife. (Lowers his head upon mentioning her.)

Wan Ping (looks up at Lau Pok suddenly in shock; her mouth gapes like a goldfish. Urgently, she speaks): What about Mama?

Lau Pok (Wistfully): I ruled over her like a tyrant. I told her how much she should spend; I dictated what were the things she should or should not buy; I was always calling her to make sure that she did not get into trouble and that she did the tasks I asked her to do. It was a mistake. A big mistake. Soon after she give birth to my daughter, she told me, “Here, take your child. Manipulate her too. I’ve had enough. I’m leaving.” (Breathes in deeply) So we were divorced. Back then I was both sad and angry. I was angry that she left me like that. Yet I thought that I had never treated her as a proper loving wife before; I deserved it that she left me. I told myself, I could not let this happen again; I didn’t want my despotic attitude to take her away from my life again.

Wan Ping (begins to cry and hits Lau Pok repeatedly): You caused Mama to leave! I hate you! I HATE YOU! (Leans onto Lau Pok and continues crying. Lau Pok simply stands there like a statue and sobs openly. Mrs Loke bends down to comfort Wan Ping.)

Mr Loke (turns to look at his children. They are looking at the ground, unable to make visual contact with him. There is silence between them at first. Then, he begins to speak slowly, softly): I’m sorry.

(Chong Tang and Jasmine look up at him.)

Mr Loke (much louder than before): I’m sorry. (Silence between them) I’m very sorry that I have treated you like that. I should give you some freedom; your life should be colourful. You should choose your own paths and not stick to whatever I tell you. I have really been much too authoritarian.

Chong Tang: Pa-

Mr Loke: I have been much too crazy over traditional values. Yes, they are applicable in today’s society, but I have realised that still, you should be allowed to live a life. Enjoy your youth as much as possible; when you reach my age, you will be bogged down with lots of things. (A moment of silence again) Go ahead. Enjoy yourselves.

(Chong Tang and Jasmine are still quiet; still unsure.)

Mr Loke (kindly): Go ahead and enjoy yourselves. Dance the night away.

Lau Pok (managing a smile): There’s that. You’ve become open-minded, Ah Loke. (Wipes away his daughter’s tears and gives her a hug to comfort her.)

Mr Loke: Yes, Bos-

Lau Pok (arms akimbo immediately and glares at Mr Loke): HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU NOT TO –

Mr Loke (shields himself from Lau Pok’s reprimand with both hands over his head): Yes, Lau Pok. Sorry, Lau Pok.

Lau Pok (calms down): That’s much better.

Chong Tang (goes up to hug Mr Loke): Thank you Papa.

Jasmine (also gives Mr Loke a big hug): Oh, thank you so much, Daddy!

Mr Loke: You’re all welcome, my children.

(All are dancing. For once, Mr Loke joins in a little. Following that, Gurmit Singh climbs onto the makeshift stage.)

• MUSIC VOLUME REMAINS LOW.

Gurmit Singh: All right, people. It’s nearly twelve o’clock! In fact, it’s only ten minutes away. So, let’s now call upon our Prime Minister, Mr Goh Chok Tong, to come up on stage for the transition into the New Millennium! Mr Goh, please! (Everybody applauds. PM Goh Chok Tong enters stage left and climbs onto the makeshift stage. He shakes hands with Gurmit Singh.) Now, the Millennium is only five minutes away! Any resolutions before the New Year arrives? (Bends down to place the microphone near Party Revellers.)

Party Reveller A: Singapore will continue to prosper!

Party Reveller B: I hope that my family will lead a comfortable and happy life!

Party Reveller C: I hope for the best in the new Millennium!

Gurmit Singh: Okay, folks! Time’s nearly up. One minute to go. (On the screen, the numbers, starting from ten, flash in descending order.) Thirty seconds left… (Clock keeps ticking) Twenty seconds… (Watches the clock) Twelve, eleven… (The crowd joins him in counting down. Countdown Clock activated.)

Everybody (hollers in crescendo)
TEN! NINE! EIGHT! SEVEN! SIX! FIVE! FOUR! THREE! TWO! ONE!
HAPPY NEW YEAR! (Confetti is thrown everywhere - on the stage, and onto the audience.)

• AULD LANG SYNE IS PLAYED. MUSIC VOLUME LOUD.

(Everybody joins in the singing of Auld Lang Syne)

Should all acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind.
Should all acquaintance be forgot,
And days of Auld Lang Syne.

For Auld Lang Syne, my dear,
For Auld Lang Syne.
We’ll drink a cup of kindness yet,
For Auld Lang Syne

(Everybody cheers and applauds loudly.)

Jasmine (happily): This is really a great way to usher in the New Year!

Chong Tang: Yeah. So fun!

Lau Pok: Come! Let’s wish everybody a Happy New Year!

Mr Loke: But, Boss – (sticks out his tongue in mistake) I mean, Lau Pok -

Lau Pok
No buts! Just do as I say or you’re fired!

Mr Loke
Okay. But I want to dance.

Lau Pok (laughs heartily): Oh-ho! I see! Eh, Ah Loke, you have suddenly become so enthusiastic!

Mr Loke (grinning): Of course. (Raises his finger in the air) As Confucius once said –

Jasmine (groans): Oh no!

Chong Tang (pleads): Please, Papa, not again!

Mr Loke (continuing from where he had left off): In every person’s life, one has to be open-minded!

Wan Ping: Huh? Did Confucius said that?

Lau Pok (leans out to make direct contact with Mr Loke. Points a finger at himself): No, no, I said that. Not Confucius, but me.

(Everybody laughs. Turn to face audience. All speak together.)

Everybody
WISHING EVERYBODY A HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HAPPY YEAR 2000! HAPPY MILLENNIUM!

• CURTAIN FALLS
• NOTE: The following is optional: the production may wish to have confetti or balloons dropping from the stage ceiling on the cast to evoke the party atmosphere.

@@@THE END@@@