WE’RE GOING TO WAR
(From BEGGARS AT THE FEAST)

There is no gain
Sadly there’s pain
Diplomacy with other countries
All for Saddam
We must wage war
Topple him down and tell him “Get out”

Iraq at my feet
Iraq in the dust
And here’s me making calls
Calling for support

We’re going to war
Come and join us then
We’re going to fight Saddam until the end
Oust him from his land
Take away his share
Clear away the landmines and then we’re still there!
Where the army men are going
Victory is the stuff we smell!
And if you do believe us
Jesus won’t we see him down in Hell!

GIVE IT ALL BACK TO THEM
(Based on “Bring It All Back to You” by S Club 7)

Don’t stop, never give up,
Keep complaining, just talk cock.
Let’s show the world we’re chin kang kor
Give it all back to them

Some things are just terok
But then those people don’t admit
Every time we must pay and pay
Give it all back to them

I tell you, we complain to show our individuality,
When all prices are going up
Just write and let it go,
If gah’men try to put you down,
Just kao peh on and on some more.
Only then you see they write back to you
The gah’men always like to say,
That there is no free lunch
But who the hell cares, we’ve got rights

Don’t stop, never give up,
Keep complaining, just talk cock.
Let’s show the world we’re chin kang kor
Give it all back to them

Some things are just terok
But then those people don’t admit
Every time we must pay and pay
Give it all back to them

How not to worry about a thing
Every thing now so expensive
GST now five per-cent
I damn pek chek, don’t you know
Public transport fares not the same
Even newspaper now not so cheap
How then not to worry with so many problems
Don’t you know it’s true what they say
Everything so terok
You just have to keep complaining
(So don’t stop trying)

Don’t stop, never give up,
Keep complaining, just talk cock.
Let’s show the world we’re chin kang kor
Give it all back to them

Some things are just terok
But then those people don’t admit
Every time we must pay and pay
Give it all back to them

Don’t you know its true what they say
People here so chin kang kor
When will good times come around?

Don’t stop, never give up,
Keep complaining, just talk cock.
Let’s show the world we’re chin kang kor
Give it all back to them

Some things are just terok
But then those people don’t admit
Every time we must pay and pay
Give it all back to them

HARRY POTTER
(Based on “All My Loving” by the Beatles)

Take your wand, and I’ll duel
Tomorrow you’re expelled
Hogwarts doesn’t care what you do
When breakfast’s under way
I’ll get owls every day
And I hope there’s no Howler today

In Year One Voldemort came
Year Two, Chamber’s opened
Year Three, Sirius Black came for me
And Year Four, Quidditch Cup; Voldemort he came back
Barty Crouch tried to send me to him

I love Hogwarts
I miss it in June
Back to Dursley’s
Holiday in ruins

Okay... the template on Sinfonia da Stare isn't working very well, so there's some unclear prints... anyway I'm re-posting this here...


Alas, the task force on encouraging Singaporeans to get hitched and produce more babies (SDU included) should have grabbed the opportunity and commission the Black-Eyed Peas to rewrite their hit “Where is the Love” for the local campaign. What a waste they didn’t do it! So I’ve come up with an alternative version for the chorus:


…………………..


WHERE IS THE CHILD
(Based on “Where is the Love” by Black-Eyed Peas)

Our population shrinking
Older population greying
Can you marry and have sex
Or be fined and pay more tax

Tolong, tolong, tolong, help us
Our country needs more births
‘Cause we’ve got the gah’men questioning
Where is the child

The child…
The child…
Where is the child, where IS the child?!

S’PORE ELECTION
(Based on “S Club Party” by S Club 7)

S’pore
Election today, a come on, yeah
Go voting today, uh huh, everybody
Get down today

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)
S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna make you rich (for this election we’ll be first)

Finally Friday night
Feelin’ kinda stressed, lookin’ quite bad
Gotta keep working, must stay late
Gotta keep praying, job must save (ho!)
Get the meaning (get the meaning)
Save your shillings (save your shillings)
Boss is greater (boss is greater)
But not to worry much ‘cost the gah’men (government) says

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)
S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna make you rich (for this election we’ll be first)

Mer-deka, mer-deka! Throw your fists in the air
Mer-deka, mer-deka! Cos we really care!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!

Goh Chok Tong’s the PM
Lee Kuan Yew’s the SM
Lee Hsien Loong’s the right-hand man
While Richard Hu’s in charge of tax (ooh hoo!)
Wanna upgrade or not?
Wanna pay this and that for long?
Like COE and ERP
But not to worry much ‘cost the gah’men (government) says

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)
S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna make you rich (for this election we’ll be first)

Mer-deka, mer-deka! Throw your fists in the air
Mer-deka, mer-deka! Cos we really care!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! Throw your fists in the air
Mer-deka, mer-deka! Cos we really care!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!
Mer-deka, mer-deka! There’s a rally over there!

Come on men, join NS!
You there, women, give birth children!

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)

S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna show you how (everybody come vote for us)
S’pore (there ain’t no party like the PAP)
Gonna make you rich (for this election we’ll be first)

CAN YOU FEEL THE HEAT TONIGHT?
(Based on “Can You Feel the Love Tonight?”)

I can feel what’s happening
Let me give you a clue
Look at the thermometer and see why
The temp’s risen by two

The blazing sun in the day
There’s UV rays out there
And with all this blistering atmosphere
Disaster’s in the air

Can you feel the heat tonight
The unrest the day brings
The ice, again, is beginning to melt
Spurred on by extreme heat

Humidity makes it worse
It makes us sweat and reek
The cause behind this case? I’ll tell you what
Greenhouse gases run free!

Where’s the Kyoto Treaty
Didn’t they uphold it?
Such emissions will continue to rise
Look we’re going to die!

Can you feel the heat tonight?
The water levels rise
The world, for once, plunges into the heat
Death to its living things

And if the world really heats up
It can be assumed
All living things on earth’ll be history
In short, the world is doomed

CAN’T HELP RIDING THE SUBWAY
(Based on “Can’t Help Falling in Love” by Elvis Presley)

Subways know
Only fools rush in
When chimes go off
For all the doors to close

Someone’s hand
Got stuck in the door
No one can help
Pulling his hand away.

As the subway goes
Towards City Hall
Crowded so it goes
Some things were meant to be…

City Hall
Everyone rush out
Some slip and fall
While others scream and shout

Members of the staff
Shoving in the train
People like sardines
Some things were meant to be…

Homeward bound
Everyone rush in
For I can’t help
Getting a seat for me

CASH
(Based on “Dance (while the music still goes on)” by ABBA)


Oh, money, it makes me sad
When I lose you I’m so mad
Was it just a dream, everything we earned, everything we had?

Come on, give me some more
Cash while the business still goes on
Don’t think about tomorrow
Cash and forget our misery
Today’s a loan we borrow
Let’s make it a deal, an interest-free deal
When you’re withoutmoney you know how it feels
So cash, it’s our way to stay alive

Yes, all we have to do is
Cash while the business still goes on
There’s not enough for buying
Cash, don’t you see the stock’s crashing
God knows how people’ll live on
But we didn’t make it ‘cause nothing can sell
We just couldn’t help it, nobody’s to blame
So cash while the business still goes on
At least there’s some way to survive

Yet it keeps making me sad
When I lose cash I’m so mad
Was it just a dream, everything we earned, everything we had?

Come on give me some more
Cash while the business still goes on
Just like the days we flourished
Cash, calculate it, how much’s left
One dollar is good enough
Our cash is a snowbird, it’s flying away
You tell me nothing’s left, who else can I pay?
Just loan while the bank has not yet close
This is gonna be our last try
Cash while the bank has yet to close
Don’t think about tomorrow
Cash and remember nothing’s left
Today’s the day we borrow
Let’s get us a creditor, to lend us some cash
A thing to remember when we have been broke
So cash while the bank has yet to close
And let it help us to survive

Cash, while the stock has not yet crashed
This is no time for buying
Cash, don’t you hear them ring the bell
Hurry, our cash is flying
Cash, while the stock is still afloat
Now don’t buy that fur-lined coat
Cash and stop spending, do you hear?
You know we have to survive!

(fade)

THING VERY LAME
(Based on “Eternal Flame” by the Bangles)

Op’ your mouth
Blabber till night, non-stop
Tell a story to me, But
I don’t understand
You don’t feel the same?
Have I started thinking
Are you saying
Something very lame
I believe, it’s meant to be that lame
I just know when you are speaking
You are talking crap
You don’t feel the same?
Have I started thinking or
Are you saying
Something very lame?

(BUT…)
Pile of crap
I don’t want to hear
How that time you wore socks
With patterns that’re not the same
I don’t wanna hear your story,
(Groans)

EXAM
(Based on “The Sounds of Silence” by Paul Simon)

Hello exam my old fiend
I’ve come to sit for you again
You had better be a breeze this time
Otherwise my mama’s gonna break my spine
And the knowledge that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

I dreamt of you for quite some time
Studied you for all this while
Never resting for once all these days
Drinking coffee just to stay awake
And Mama, she made those disgusting soup
Black as soot
Which broke the sound of silence

Now under spotlights in the hall
Four hundred people and no more
Everybody sitting for their test
If they fail, in peace they’ll never rest
They were told “My child you must do you best”
They never guess
The sounds of silence

And as the clock hands tick away
On their foreheads do sweat drops spray
Students calling what they learnt that day
And all the fees for tuition they once paid
All their sweat like silent raindrops fell
They were nervous, I could tell

Muggers everyone of them
Must have start reading in their prams
And the teacher called his warning
Fifteen minutes before ending
And the students, plus me all freeze like ice
Not enough time
Before we break the sounds of silence

OSAMA BIN LADEN
(Based on “Hakuna Matata” by Elton John and Tim Rice)

Osama bin Laden
What a terrible name
Osama bin Laden
Is a man who’s crazed

It means submission
To fear for all your days
He’s the problematic philanthropist
Osama bin Laden!

Why, when he was a teenage man
He found he as better off fighting the Soviets
He joined the mujahideen to fight in the hills
Blood from those he had killed, to stay with his skin
And it hurt that his family brushed off him
An oh, the shame
Upon their names!
Such that they changed their names
And they felt disgusted

Osama bin Laden!
What a terrible name
Osama bin Laden!
He’s a man who’s crazed
It means submission
To fear for all your days
It’s that problematic
Philanthropist…
Osama bin Laden!

Osama bin Laden!
(repeat)

BOMB AROUND THE CLOCKBOMB AROUND THE CLOCK
(From Rock Around The Clock by Max Freeman)

One, two, three o'clock, four o'clock, bomb,
Five, six, seven o'clock, eight o'clock, bomb,
Nine, ten, eleven o'clock, twelve o'clock, bomb,
We're gonna bomb around the clock tonight.

Take up arms and join the fight
We’re going to kick the Taleban when the clock strikes,
We're gonna kick around the clock tonight,
We're gonna kick, kick, kick 'til they have died.
We're gonna kick, gonna kick, around the clock tonight.

When the planes start dropping all the bombs,
The Northern Alliance will start to hum:
We're gonna bomb around the clock tonight,
We're gonna bomb until Osama dies.
We're gonna bomb, gonna bomb, around the clock tonight.

Kandahar, when it has fell,
Taleban’s gonna be in hell.
We're gonna try around the clock tonight,
We're gonna try, try, try 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna try, gonna try, around the clock tonight.

When the US says ‘Surrender, troops,”
Or we’ll give you shit and start to shoot.
We're gonna shoot around the clock tonight,
We're gonna shoot, shoot, shoot 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna shoot, gonna shoot, around the clock tonight.

When the Taleban’s gone they’ll stop it then,
But look for Osama then again.
We're gonna search around the clock tonight,
We're gonna search, search, search 'til broad daylight.
We're gonna search, gonna search, around the clock tonight.

BUST, BUST, BUST, BUST
(Based Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom by Vengaboys)

Now I’m short of cash and need a loan
Because I lost my job not long ago
The economy’s bad
Need a hand
I want a banker today
This is what I really need
I need some cash
What I want is dollar notes

Bust, bust, bust, bust
The econ’s really bad
We’re in recession right now
From now until forever…?

Bust, bust, bust, bust
My business’ going bust
Let’s close the shop forever
The econ I can’t trust.

Everybody save up now
The recession is back in town
This is not I forecasted
I just didn’t think of this
Let’s get a loan
What I want is dollar notes

Bust, bust, bust, bust
The econ’s really bad
We’re in recession right now
From now until forever…?

Bust, bust, bust, bust
My business’ going bust
Let’s close the shop forever
The econ I can’t trust.

(Repeat 2x)

LOBANG KING
(Based on “Dancing Queen” by ABBA)

You can deal, you can sell, having the pay of your life
See that man, watch him think, dig in the Lobang King

Friday morning and his spirits high
Looking for someone to buy
His real estate investments, insurance fees
Saying, “I’ve got the best deals, see?”
Anybody could be that guy
Anxious customer’s who’ll buy
With disasters occurring, everything’s not fine
You’re in the mood for a sale
And if that dream turns real…

You are the Lobang King, fresh but old, only forty-five
Lobang King, get the cash just to buy sharks’ fin
You can deal, you can sell, having the pay of your life
See that man, watch him think, dig in the Lobang King

You persuade them and turn them on
Leave them happy and then they’ll buy
Looking out for another, anyone will do
You’re in the mood for a sale
And when you find that guy…

You are the Lobang King, fresh but old, only forty-five
Lobang King, get the cash just to buy sharks’ fin
You can deal, you can sell, having the pay of your life
See that man, watch him think, dig in the Lobang King

SINGAPORE
(Based on "Waterloo" by ABBA)

My my, at Singapore did Raffles try to make a deal
Oh yeah, and I have always followed the same when I’m doing business
The history book on the shelf
For businessmen how does it help?

Singapore - I earned my degree, yet there’s no job
Singapore - visit the loo have to flush some more
Singapore - couldn’t chew gum if I wanted to
Singapore - everyday I get the morning blues
Singapore - I am still living in Singapore

My my, I tried to sing karaoke in the night
Oh yeah, now I’ve been arrested and no one cares about my plight
And how could I ever bail out
In jail because I simply shout

Singapore - COE prices cost more and more
Singapore - taxi fares are not worth any more
Singapore - cannot drive fast if I wanted to
Singapore - knowing the cops will be tailing you
Singapore - I am still living in Singapore

The people must always have face
They don’t like to be a disgrace

Singapore - Brits were defeated, Japs won the war
Singapore - riots occurred in 1-9-6-4
Singapore - struck by crisis in ninety-seven
Singapore - three years later, here we go again
Singapore - I’m still living in Singapore

SINGAPORE 2001 - CAN SURVIVE!
(From Stayin’ Alive by Bee Gees)

In 1929 the stock market crashed.
And now it’s nearly happened again.
We just came out of the storm
Here we go again just one year later.
Now it’s not good, it’s not OK.
How can you look the other way?
How can we try to understand
The Gah’men’s effect on men?

The women complain that the Gah’men show biasness.
The men are breadwinners; must find work.
Economy breaking and bosses are firing.
How to survive? How to stay alive?
Ah, ha, ha, ha, ready to die, ready to die.
Got no money how to survive?

The stocks go low; suddenly go high.
And all the stockbrokers are ready to cry.
People who still spend money are real fools.
Go and play 4D; too bad, they still lose.
These people really ng chai see,
They’re going to end up in deep shit.
When will they start to understand
This will not have a good end?

Everyday we wonder whether we will lose our jobs.
What to do leh? Got to stay alive.
Cost-cutting measures and retrenchment exercise.
Children got five - how to stay alive?
Ah, ha, ha, ha, job cannot find, job cannot find.
Got no job - how to stay alive?

Now have no work; have to attend job fair.
Gah’men got to help me, yeah.
Any job will do; I don’t really care.
Gah’men got to help me, yeah.
Can survive!